Top ten fine-print disclaimers on geoffil's free voucher

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AlphaDummy
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Top ten fine-print disclaimers on geoffil's free voucher

#1 Post by AlphaDummy » Sun Jul 20, 2008 9:59 am

10) Upgrade from cargo class requires purchase of full-fare ticket

9) Voucher valid only on flights between ORD and MDW

8) Structural integrity of aircraft not guaranteed if cabin pressure rises above 1200 PSI

7) Restroom at rear of cabin requires additional $98 user fee; door latch mechanism will only accept $2 bills; see website for details

6) In-flight turbulence may result in amusement-ride-simulation surcharge

5) Voucher for free flight does not imply free landing, and should not be so construed

4) Company makes no guarantee of in-flight entertainment other than flatulent flight attendant

3) Seat cushion must be returned to aircraft following water landing

2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques

1) Offer of free airfare not applicable to employees of WGAS or to former game-show contestants
"Again" - Herb Brooks (as played by Kurt Russell)

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ulysses5019
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Re: Top ten fine-print disclaimers on geoffil's free voucher

#2 Post by ulysses5019 » Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:24 am

AlphaDummy wrote:10) Upgrade from cargo class requires purchase of full-fare ticket

9) Voucher valid only on flights between ORD and MDW

8) Structural integrity of aircraft not guaranteed if cabin pressure rises above 1200 PSI

7) Restroom at rear of cabin requires additional $98 user fee; door latch mechanism will only accept $2 bills; see website for details

6) In-flight turbulence may result in amusement-ride-simulation surcharge

5) Voucher for free flight does not imply free landing, and should not be so construed

4) Company makes no guarantee of in-flight entertainment other than flatulent flight attendant

3) Seat cushion must be returned to aircraft following water landing

2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques

1) Offer of free airfare not applicable to employees of WGAS or to former game-show contestants

Did Tub-o-Dave write these?
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.

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kayrharris
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#3 Post by kayrharris » Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:37 am

These will probably be posted on their website in short order.

Have you applied for a position as a writer for Letterman? It looks like a perfect fit to me.
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. "
Benjamin Franklin

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silvercamaro
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#4 Post by silvercamaro » Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:42 am

Excellent, AD!

Recrecrecrecrec
Now generating the White Hot Glare of Righteousness on behalf of BBs everywhere.

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frogman042
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#5 Post by frogman042 » Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:49 am

Puts my lame (and obvious) comment to shame. Bravo!!!

---Jay(Yahtzee!!!!)

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Re: Top ten fine-print disclaimers on geoffil's free voucher

#6 Post by marrymeflyfree » Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:52 am

AlphaDummy wrote: 4) Company makes no guarantee of in-flight entertainment other than flatulent flight attendant
On your next flight, ask your FA if he/she is a crop duster.

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#7 Post by peacock2121 » Sun Jul 20, 2008 11:00 am

AD - you are a very funny boy!

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geoffil
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#8 Post by geoffil » Sun Jul 20, 2008 12:28 pm

AD,

You are too much. You have such a great sense of humor. I wish you had been on our flight so you could have provided our inflight entertainment. The 3 hours in ST. Louis would have felt like 3 minutes with your clever, witty comments.

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#9 Post by ulysses5019 » Sun Jul 20, 2008 12:44 pm

geoffil wrote:AD,

You are too much. You have such a great sense of humor. I wish you had been on our flight so you could have provided our inflight entertainment. The 3 hours in ST. Louis would have felt like 3 minutes with your clever, witty comments.
But the FAs might have decided to crop dust him.
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.

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mntetn
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Re: Top ten fine-print disclaimers on geoffil's free voucher

#10 Post by mntetn » Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:45 am

AlphaDummy wrote:2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques
I remember this one!

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littlebeast13
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#11 Post by littlebeast13 » Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:50 am

AD needs to spin off his Top 10 lists into a new Merry Man. It'd be a smash....

lb13

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ulysses5019
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Re: Top ten fine-print disclaimers on geoffil's free voucher

#12 Post by ulysses5019 » Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:16 am

mntetn wrote:
AlphaDummy wrote:2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques
I remember this one!
I hope you never had the opportunity to use this.
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.

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ulysses5019
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Re: Top ten fine-print disclaimers on geoffil's free voucher

#13 Post by ulysses5019 » Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:16 am

ulysses5019 wrote:
mntetn wrote:
AlphaDummy wrote:2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques
I remember this one!
I hope you never had the opportunity to use this.

Unless you're really into gladiator movies.
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.

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starfish1113
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#14 Post by starfish1113 » Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:55 am

#5 made me laugh out loud!

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frogman042
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#15 Post by frogman042 » Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:19 am

starfish1113 wrote:#5 made me laugh out loud!
Whenever the pilot or flight attendent announces that 'We will be on the ground in a few minutes' I always cringe a little - there are a lot of ways to be on the ground - most of which I would not be pleased with - why can't they say 'We will be landing in a few minutes'.

---Jay (# of days to go == # of slave states that stayed with the Union in the U.S. Civil War)

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