Speaking Suthren (Good ol' boy style)

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wintergreen48
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Speaking Suthren (Good ol' boy style)

#1 Post by wintergreen48 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:03 am

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington, designating Southern Speech, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat fer are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. Must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe. Give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah. Haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City. View?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

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#2 Post by JoeBobBillyWayneTucker » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:07 am

This is blassfeemy! I'm writin' my Congersman! Whar's my piece of charcoal?

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#3 Post by silvercamaro » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:24 am

Ah diddunt haif to reed no deffynitchins. All them wurds was perfeckly clear.

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#4 Post by kayrharris » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:38 am

You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.
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#5 Post by ulysses5019 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:40 am

kayrharris wrote:You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.
A person could starve before they found an interpreter.
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#6 Post by Bob Juch » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:46 am

kayrharris wrote:You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.
I usually heard just: "Jeet?" "Yonto?"
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#7 Post by mntetn » Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:50 am

DONE - (helping verb) - Usage "I done been to Bammer and Jawjuh."

When I first moved to the South, I quickly learned that "this evening after dinner" means about 1:00 pm.

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#8 Post by gsabc » Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:53 am

RAT CHEER - Not rooting for vermin, but an expression meaning "in this place". Example: "Y'all bring that beer on over and put it rat cheer!"
I just ordered chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

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#9 Post by bazodee » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:12 am

Capital of Bammer, west of Joe-Ja is Mongummery

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#10 Post by themanintheseersuckersuit » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:29 am

gsabc wrote:RAT CHEER - Not rooting for vermin, but an expression meaning "in this place". Example: "Y'all bring that beer on over and put it rat cheer!"
I waz gittin ready to add that'un till I seen you dun done it
Suitguy is not bitter.

feels he represents the many educated and rational onlookers who believe that the hysterical denouncement of lay scepticism is both unwarranted and counter-productive

The problem, then, is that such calls do not address an opposition audience so much as they signal virtue. They talk past those who need convincing. They ignore actual facts and counterargument. And they are irreparably smug.

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#11 Post by ne1410s » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:33 am

Widjadidja?

As in: Ya dint bring yur pickup widjadidja?

Stolen, of course, from J Foxworthy.
"When you argue with a fool, there are two fools in the argument."

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#12 Post by tlynn78 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:46 am

This made me lol.
When I first moved to Jawjuh and met my southren cuzzins, the one that always got me was my aunt saying:

Don's gonna carry me to work.

Now, my aunt was a large woman married to a smaller Don. This image always made my sister and I laugh hysterically.
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#13 Post by silvercamaro » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:52 am

Ah'm fixin' to get upsait. Y'aller makin' fun.

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#14 Post by silvercamaro » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:58 am

My truly favorite Suthrenism, heard in the grocery store:

"These prices are higher than a cat's back!"

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#15 Post by TheCalvinator24 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:20 pm

Have you ever been pertneer outta gas?
It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. —Albus Dumbledore

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#16 Post by tlynn78 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:35 pm

Ah'm fixin' to get upsait. Y'aller makin' fun.
Bless yer heart.
Have you ever been pertneer outta gas
No but I perneer got a flat afor I aired up my tars.


t.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. -Thomas Paine
You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. -Ayn Rand
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

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#17 Post by wbtravis007 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:06 pm

Jethro Tull: Complete sentence. Normal response to an inquiry about the height of Jed and them's nephew.

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#18 Post by fantine33 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:26 pm

silvercamaro wrote:My truly favorite Suthrenism, heard in the grocery store:

"These prices are higher than a cat's back!"
Is that Southern? My dad always said 'higher than a cat's back' and he was from Illinois. He was quite fond of sayings like those, however. Are any of these considered Southern?

(Off the top of my head)

Nervous as a whore in church
Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

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#19 Post by mellytu74 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:20 pm

Bob Juch wrote:
kayrharris wrote:You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.
I usually heard just: "Jeet?" "Yonto?"
I always thought "Jeet jet?" was a Philadelphia expression.

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#20 Post by ulysses5019 » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:19 am

mellytu74 wrote:
Bob Juch wrote:
kayrharris wrote:You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.
I usually heard just: "Jeet?" "Yonto?"
I always thought "Jeet jet?" was a Philadelphia expression.
Prolly South Philly.
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.

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Re: Speaking Suthren (Good ol' boy style)

#21 Post by ulysses5019 » Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:33 am

wintergreen48 wrote:The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington, designating Southern Speech, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat fer are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. Must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe. Give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah. Haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City. View?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

I just realized that I will be in Charlottesville this August. Will I need a translator?
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.

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#22 Post by ne1410s » Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:23 am

Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman
Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.
"When you argue with a fool, there are two fools in the argument."

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#23 Post by ShitSandwich » Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:28 am

ne1410s wrote:
Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman
Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.

The South shall rise again!
Open wide!
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#24 Post by fantine33 » Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:25 pm

ne1410s wrote:
Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman
Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.
The dogs and their peach pits was also a favourite (never did get an explanation about why the dog was wolfing down whole peaches in the first place) but the other ones aren't familiar.

Like shit through a goose was also popular, but that seems to be a pretty universal one, so I didn't use that as an example. There was also something about a screen door, but I don't remember the specifics.

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#25 Post by fantine33 » Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:26 pm

ShitSandwich wrote:
ne1410s wrote:
Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman
Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.





The South shall rise again!
Kitty Sandwich, it's not the South, it's Illinois!

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