Speaking Suthren (Good ol' boy style)

[wintergreen48]

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington, designating Southern Speech, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat fer are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. Must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe. Give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah. Haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City. View?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

[JoeBobBillyWayneTucker]

This is blassfeemy! I'm writin' my Congersman! Whar's my piece of charcoal?

[silvercamaro]

Ah diddunt haif to reed no deffynitchins. All them wurds was perfeckly clear.

[kayrharris]

You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

[ulysses5019]

You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

A person could starve before they found an interpreter.

[Bob Juch]

You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

I usually heard just: "Jeet?" "Yonto?"

[mntetn]

DONE - (helping verb) - Usage "I done been to Bammer and Jawjuh."

When I first moved to the South, I quickly learned that "this evening after dinner" means about 1:00 pm.

[gsabc]

RAT CHEER - Not rooting for vermin, but an expression meaning "in this place". Example: "Y'all bring that beer on over and put it rat cheer!"

[bazodee]

Capital of Bammer, west of Joe-Ja is Mongummery

[themanintheseersuckersuit]

RAT CHEER - Not rooting for vermin, but an expression meaning "in this place". Example: "Y'all bring that beer on over and put it rat cheer!"

I waz gittin ready to add that'un till I seen you dun done it

[ne1410s]

Widjadidja?

As in: Ya dint bring yur pickup widjadidja?

Stolen, of course, from J Foxworthy.

[tlynn78]

This made me lol.
When I first moved to Jawjuh and met my southren cuzzins, the one that always got me was my aunt saying:

Don's gonna carry me to work.

Now, my aunt was a large woman married to a smaller Don. This image always made my sister and I laugh hysterically.

[silvercamaro]

Ah'm fixin' to get upsait. Y'aller makin' fun.

[silvercamaro]

My truly favorite Suthrenism, heard in the grocery store:

"These prices are higher than a cat's back!"

[TheCalvinator24]

Have you ever been pertneer outta gas?

[tlynn78]

Ah'm fixin' to get upsait. Y'aller makin' fun.

Bless yer heart.

Have you ever been pertneer outta gas

No but I perneer got a flat afor I aired up my tars.


t.

[wbtravis007]

Jethro Tull: Complete sentence. Normal response to an inquiry about the height of Jed and them's nephew.

[fantine33]

My truly favorite Suthrenism, heard in the grocery store:

"These prices are higher than a cat's back!"

Is that Southern? My dad always said 'higher than a cat's back' and he was from Illinois. He was quite fond of sayings like those, however. Are any of these considered Southern?

(Off the top of my head)

Nervous as a whore in church
Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

[mellytu74]

You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

I usually heard just: "Jeet?" "Yonto?"

I always thought "Jeet jet?" was a Philadelphia expression.

[ulysses5019]

You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

I usually heard just: "Jeet?" "Yonto?"

I always thought "Jeet jet?" was a Philadelphia expression.

Prolly South Philly.

[ulysses5019]

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington, designating Southern Speech, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat fer are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. Must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe. Give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah. Haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City. View?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

I just realized that I will be in Charlottesville this August. Will I need a translator?

[ne1410s]

Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.

[ShitSandwich]

Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.

The South shall rise again!

[fantine33]

Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.

The dogs and their peach pits was also a favourite (never did get an explanation about why the dog was wolfing down whole peaches in the first place) but the other ones aren't familiar.

Like shit through a goose was also popular, but that seems to be a pretty universal one, so I didn't use that as an example. There was also something about a screen door, but I don't remember the specifics.

[fantine33]

Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.

The South shall rise again!

Kitty Sandwich, it's not the South, it's Illinois!