Apparently, I have no heart

[Here's Fanny!]

Rocks in head (50+ year old brain cyst/tumor that began in utero)

Is utero down around Uvalde?

I'm sure it's a bit more cluttered than Uvalde.

I think it's further down, around Ushuaia.

[Ritterskoop]

I happen to be one of those weird people who have very, very faint finger prints. Even using the new types of machines, it takes forever to get a good, acceptable print. I think I'm in the wrong line of work. I need to take up a life of a street hooligan!

Mom had to have her prints taken three times when she was getting a background check for her new job (new last year, not new since then). The tech said as we get older our grooves fade a little.

[Beebs52]

[quote="Ritterskoop The tech said as we get older our grooves fade a little.[/quote]

I know my grooves have certainly faded as I've gotten older.

[CharlesFoxSingers]

Sometimes late
When things are real
And the people share the gift of gab
Between themselves

Some are quick
To take the bait
And the catch the perfect prize
That waits among the shells

But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn't, didn't already have
And Cause never was the reason for the evening
Or the tropic of Sir Galahad

So please
Believe in me
When I say I'm spinning round, round, round, round
Smoke glass stain'd bright colors
Image going down, down, down, down
Soapsud green like bubbles

Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn't, didn't already have
And Cause never was the reason for the evening
Or the tropic of Sir Galahad

So please
Believe in me
When I say I'm spinning round, round, round, round
Smoke glass stain'd bright colors
Image going down, down, down, down
Soapsud green like bubbles

No, Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn't, didn't already have
And Cause never was the reason for the evening
Or the tropic of Sir Galahad

So please believe in me
When I say I'm spinning round, round, round, round
Smoke glass stain'd bright colors
Image going down, down, down, down
Soapsud green like bubbles

[etaoin22]

No, I mean other than being thoughtless, cruel and uncaring....

I make an effort to get my annual physical exam like clockwork -- every five to 10 years. Since I currently have no animals in intensive care, this seemed like a good time to do it. I got Part One, or part of Part One, this morning, but it could not be completed. I was supposed to have an EKG, but the machine did not register a heart beat. All the sticky tabs were replaced three times; the sensors were inspected, cleaned and reattached; and the machine that worked perfectly all day yesterday and earlier this morning was reset and, at one point, even recalibrated for a child's body size, just to see if that would make a difference. Nevertheless, no heart beats were detected.

Now I have to go to the hospital and have them give it a try. This will require additional waiting time in the outpatient black hole and another co-pay. I would like to borrow a grumble from Marley. Please?

They oughtto give you your money back and pay for the hospital tracing.

Thing is, the tracings are digitized, (not digitalized which means something completely different in EKG-land -- it means patients started on digitalis) , and there is a computer program with criteria for acceptability. Different from the old analog days with a moving analog needle making a tracing on heat sensitive paper reading one lead at at a time, and making you move the suction cup across the chest from V1-V6. I did enough of those in the middle of the night thirty years ago, but it was up to me to figure out what was ffffed up. When other people did the tracing, interestingly enough, the most common mistake was to put the left arm lead on the right arm and vice versa, which yielded a really scary, scary tracing.

[silvercamaro]

I have been certified as semi-living. Okay, they didn't exactly certify anything, but they did tell me that I could go, instead of saying, "Hold still while we pull this sheet over your face."

Not counting Very Long Wait A and Medium Long Wait B, the entire EKG took less time than it did to get the hospital band off my wrist. When I went out to my car, it wasn't where I'd left it. I knew exactly where I'd parked, but while I was inside, they moved entire parking lots to different locations. That probably explains the need for Long Waits A and B.

Anyway, I was hungry by this time, so I made a brief stop and brought home pizza bones to my furry friends. The first thing that came on television as we gathered over the pizza box was a promo for that new Ricky Gervais film, in which he hears he is dead but wants to argue about it.

[silvercamaro]

I thought this was going to be about your mom.

This made me laugh when I first read it, and again every time I think of it.

Just now, too.

[admanvii]

err uly

DAMN Yankees!!!!!!

Lets Go Mets

[secondchance]

I am extremely pleased to hear that you are not dead.

Adding to the medical oddities... My palms have a single horizontal crease (no separate head & heart lines).

This indicates that either I have Down's Syndrome, or that I am a monkey. Honestly.

[themanintheseersuckersuit]

I am extremely pleased to hear that you are not dead.

Adding to the medical oddities... My palms have a single horizontal crease (no separate head & heart lines).

This indicates that either I have Down's Syndrome, or that I am a monkey. Honestly.

I'm guessing monkey.

[secondchance]

Thanks ... I think.

Of course, you're just preferential.

[cindy.wellman]

I have been certified as semi-living. Okay, they didn't exactly certify anything, but they did tell me that I could go, instead of saying, "Hold still while we pull this sheet over your face."

Not counting Very Long Wait A and Medium Long Wait B, the entire EKG took less time than it did to get the hospital band off my wrist. When I went out to my car, it wasn't where I'd left it. I knew exactly where I'd parked, but while I was inside, they moved entire parking lots to different locations. That probably explains the need for Long Waits A and B.

Anyway, I was hungry by this time, so I made a brief stop and brought home pizza bones to my furry friends. The first thing that came on television as we gathered over the pizza box was a promo for that new Ricky Gervais film, in which he hears he is dead but wants to argue about it.

LOL "Pizza bones!"

[ghostjmf]

Second Chance says:

Adding to the medical oddities... My palms have a single horizontal crease (no separate head & heart lines).

This indicates that either I have Down's Syndrome, or that I am a monkey. Honestly.

It indicates that you are a chimera. Or however they spell it. Your hands have Down's Syndrome. Fortunately for you, your head doesn't. Seriously. Possibly in utero (that word again) the parts that were going to become hands had a mutation causing trisomy of chromosome 21.

If someone logs on here next who is their own twin, I'm gonna tell them to go sue CSI, a program I actively avoid (all 17 or whatever of them; CSI Topeka, anyone?), but I managed to see that one, nevertheless.

There was also a very interesting summertime special on one of the real networks (i.e. not cable) a few years ago about women who were not genetically mothers of their own kids when non-reproductive tissue was tested, due to their ovaries being part of an undeveloped twin. The authorities were actually going to take one woman's kids away, "because genetically she's not their mother", even though various medical personnel had been present at all the births. (The woman needed public assistance, so the authorities suspected some kind of scam such as surrogate motherhood that would have actually taken quite a bit of money, which she didn't have, to pull off.) The authorities never bothered to test for fraternal twin-ness, but something else medical she had solved the whole thing. I forget what.


Back to what you do have:
I knew someone years ago who also had that "simian crease" without having the mental syndrome.

[secondchance]

Second Chance says:

Adding to the medical oddities... My palms have a single horizontal crease (no separate head & heart lines).

This indicates that either I have Down's Syndrome, or that I am a monkey. Honestly.

It indicates that you are a chimera. Or however they spell it. Your hands have Down's Syndrome. Fortunately for you, your head doesn't. Seriously. Possibly in utero (that word again) the parts that were going to become hands had a mutation causing trisomy of chromosome 21.
Back to what you do have:
I knew someone years ago who also had that "simian crease" without having the mental syndrome.

Arrgghh! Freak me out a little bit! So, how do you spell this Chimera!? Now I need to took it up- I had no idea how weird I actually was.

[ulysses5019]

[quote="Ritterskoop The tech said as we get older our grooves fade a little.

I know my grooves have certainly faded as I've gotten older.[/quote]

I've still got my grooves.....as long as the Charles Fox Singers keep up with their harmonies.

[hermillion]

Arrgghh! Freak me out a little bit! So, how do you spell this Chimera!? Now I need to took it up- I had no idea how weird I actually was.

You hang out here with the rest of the weird folks. That's why you've never noticed!

[earendel]

I have been certified as semi-living. Okay, they didn't exactly certify anything, but they did tell me that I could go, instead of saying, "Hold still while we pull this sheet over your face."

Not counting Very Long Wait A and Medium Long Wait B, the entire EKG took less time than it did to get the hospital band off my wrist. When I went out to my car, it wasn't where I'd left it. I knew exactly where I'd parked, but while I was inside, they moved entire parking lots to different locations. That probably explains the need for Long Waits A and B.

Anyway, I was hungry by this time, so I made a brief stop and brought home pizza bones to my furry friends. The first thing that came on television as we gathered over the pizza box was a promo for that new Ricky Gervais film, in which he hears he is dead but wants to argue about it.

LOL "Pizza bones!"

And I thought our family was the only one to use that term.

[Snaxx]

So they got your heartbeat now?

Or did this bug get into the EKG?










________
The last season at Yankee Stadium

[admanvii]

I've rolled Bones

Smoked Bones

Simmered Bones...(To make a Stock)

Shook to my bones

Broken Bones

Smoked Bones again

Watched one episode of Bones on Fox

Then I really needed to smoke another bone

but have never seen a pizza bone


but I am glad your ok....Some day I will tell you all my heart stopping story ....where my heart really did stop