Apparently, I have no heart

[silvercamaro]

No, I mean other than being thoughtless, cruel and uncaring....

I make an effort to get my annual physical exam like clockwork -- every five to 10 years. Since I currently have no animals in intensive care, this seemed like a good time to do it. I got Part One, or part of Part One, this morning, but it could not be completed. I was supposed to have an EKG, but the machine did not register a heart beat. All the sticky tabs were replaced three times; the sensors were inspected, cleaned and reattached; and the machine that worked perfectly all day yesterday and earlier this morning was reset and, at one point, even recalibrated for a child's body size, just to see if that would make a difference. Nevertheless, no heart beats were detected.

Now I have to go to the hospital and have them give it a try. This will require additional waiting time in the outpatient black hole and another co-pay. I would like to borrow a grumble from Marley. Please?

[Appa23]

"Why, back where I come from, there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called phila... er, phila... er, yes, er, Good Deed Doers."

Better luck next time, "Tin Woman"

[earendel]

No, I mean other than being thoughtless, cruel and uncaring....

I make an effort to get my annual physical exam like clockwork -- every five to 10 years. Since I currently have no animals in intensive care, this seemed like a good time to do it. I got Part One, or part of Part One, this morning, but it could not be completed. I was supposed to have an EKG, but the machine did not register a heart beat. All the sticky tabs were replaced three times; the sensors were inspected, cleaned and reattached; and the machine that worked perfectly all day yesterday and earlier this morning was reset and, at one point, even recalibrated for a child's body size, just to see if that would make a difference. Nevertheless, no heart beats were detected.

Now I have to go to the hospital and have them give it a try. This will require additional waiting time in the outpatient black hole and another co-pay. I would like to borrow a grumble from Marley. Please?

Could it be that you are one of the rare individuals whose heart is on the opposite side from normal? Probably not, since if that were the case it would be noted in your medical file.

[themanintheseersuckersuit]

We will take the absence of a 911 call as a positive sign.

[silvercamaro]

We will take the absence of a 911 call as a positive sign.

I have no reason to believe I'm dead. The dogs would be complaining if I couldn't give them treats.



Unless hearing is the first thing to fade away....

[SportsFan68]

GRUMBLE!!!

[gsabc]

There's always work as the itinerant axe-meister for the next round of industrial layoffs ...

[PlacentiaSoccerMom]

I wonder if the machine is broken.

It seems unfair that you should have to pay to be tested twice.

[MarleysGh0st]

GRUMBLE!!!

That looks like an unauthorized knockoff there, Sprots!

One should only use authentic, certified <grumbles>®. The trademark is a sign of quality!



And, silvercamaro, I do hope that there haven't been any events that will take a visit from the Sixth Sense kid to remind you of them!

[themanintheseersuckersuit]

We will take the absence of a 911 call as a positive sign.

I have no reason to believe I'm dead. The dogs would be complaining if I couldn't give them treats.



Unless hearing is the first thing to fade away....

The fact than Annie and I can see you provides no reassurance.

[silvercamaro]

We will take the absence of a 911 call as a positive sign.

I have no reason to believe I'm dead. The dogs would be complaining if I couldn't give them treats.



Unless hearing is the first thing to fade away....

The fact than Annie and I can see you provides no reassurance.

Well, sure, with you Halloween-baby senstitive types. Fortunately, Lizbit seems to be able to see me, too, and we are pretty darn sure she was born in early summer.

[SportsFan68]

That is unfair.

It will be worth it.

[Ritterskoop]

I thought this was going to be about your mom.

[kayrharris]

I would definitely protest the 2nd co-pay.

We'll all testify to the fact that you're alive and well if you need us. We'll even get Judge Judy if necessary.

[ulysses5019]

Those Foxy singers are falling down on the job.


Coach:
[Spoken]
See boys, that's what I'm talking about.Baseball is only one half skill, the
other half is something else.....something bigger!
{sang
You've gotta have....Heart!All you really need is heart!
When
the odds are sayin' you'll never win, that's when the grin should start!
You've gotta have hope!Musn't sit around and mope. Nuthin' half as bad as
it may appear, wait'll next year and hope.When your luck is battin' zero,
get your chin up off the floor. Mister, you can be a hero.You can open any
door.There's nothin' to it, but to do it.You've gotta have heart!Miles
and miles and miles of heart!Oh, it's fine to be a genius of corse!But
keep that ol' horse before the cart!First you've got to have heart!
Smokey:
A great pitcher, we haven't got!
Rocky:
A great slugger, we haven't got!
Sohovic:
A great pitcher, we haven't got!
All:
What've we got?We've got heart! All you really need is heart! When the odds
are sayin', You'll never win, that's when the grin should start!We've got
hope!We don't sit around and mope!Not a solitary sob do we heave, mister
'cause we've got hope.
Rocky:
We're so happy, that we're hummin'.

All:
Hmm, Hmm, Hmm
Coach:
That's the heart-y thing to do.
Smokey:
'Cause we know our ship will come in!
All:
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Sohovic:
So it's ten years over due!
All:
Hoo, hoo, hoo.We've got heart!Miles and miles and miles of heart! Oh it's
fine to be a genius of coarse, but keep that old horse before the cart!
Smokey:
So what the heck's the use of cryin'?
Coach:
Why should we curse?
Sohovic:
We've got to get better......
Rocky:
....'cause we can't get worse!
All:
And to add to it; we've got heart!We've got heart!We've got Heart!

[hermillion]

We'll all testify to the fact that you're alive and well if you need us.

Alive? Most definitely!!

Well?? Some of us who've seen her carrying on with sock puppets might have a moment's pause . . .



Sorry about the hassle this is causing, and I'm sure everything will be calibrated/adjusted/smacked upside the monitor PDQ, so you can get back to your life's true purpose.

Providing treats and skritches to some of the luckiest dogs on the planet.

[cindy.wellman]

No, I mean other than being thoughtless, cruel and uncaring....

I make an effort to get my annual physical exam like clockwork -- every five to 10 years. Since I currently have no animals in intensive care, this seemed like a good time to do it. I got Part One, or part of Part One, this morning, but it could not be completed. I was supposed to have an EKG, but the machine did not register a heart beat. All the sticky tabs were replaced three times; the sensors were inspected, cleaned and reattached; and the machine that worked perfectly all day yesterday and earlier this morning was reset and, at one point, even recalibrated for a child's body size, just to see if that would make a difference. Nevertheless, no heart beats were detected.

Now I have to go to the hospital and have them give it a try. This will require additional waiting time in the outpatient black hole and another co-pay. I would like to borrow a grumble from Marley. Please?

Could it be that you are one of the rare individuals whose heart is on the opposite side from normal? Probably not, since if that were the case it would be noted in your medical file.

SC - Do they have any idea what the reason is behind the malfunction? Is it a malfunction of the machine?


Ear - My friend is one of those people. I think, though not certain, that her other organs are on the opposite sides of where they should be as well. She says whenever she goes in for appointments at new places, she causes quite a stir.

I happen to be one of those weird people who have very, very faint finger prints. Even using the new types of machines, it takes forever to get a good, acceptable print. I think I'm in the wrong line of work. I need to take up a life of a street hooligan!


No (faint) FPs no Heart....anyone else?

[christie1111]

I disagree with this subject line!

Beating is another thing!

[Beebs52]

Are you sure you didn't leave your heart in that other purse?

That is just weird.

No heart. No (faint) finger prints.

Rocks in head (50+ year old brain cyst/tumor that began in utero)

[Scarecrow]

No, I mean other than being thoughtless, cruel and uncaring....

I make an effort to get my annual physical exam like clockwork -- every five to 10 years. Since I currently have no animals in intensive care, this seemed like a good time to do it. I got Part One, or part of Part One, this morning, but it could not be completed. I was supposed to have an EKG, but the machine did not register a heart beat. All the sticky tabs were replaced three times; the sensors were inspected, cleaned and reattached; and the machine that worked perfectly all day yesterday and earlier this morning was reset and, at one point, even recalibrated for a child's body size, just to see if that would make a difference. Nevertheless, no heart beats were detected.

Now I have to go to the hospital and have them give it a try. This will require additional waiting time in the outpatient black hole and another co-pay. I would like to borrow a grumble from Marley. Please?

Could it be that you are one of the rare individuals whose heart is on the opposite side from normal? Probably not, since if that were the case it would be noted in your medical file.

SC - Do they have any idea what the reason is behind the malfunction? Is it a malfunction of the machine?


Ear - My friend is one of those people. I think, though not certain, that her other organs are on the opposite sides of where they should be as well. She says whenever she goes in for appointments at new places, she causes quite a stir.

I happen to be one of those weird people who have very, very faint finger prints. Even using the new types of machines, it takes forever to get a good, acceptable print. I think I'm in the wrong line of work. I need to take up a life of a street hooligan!


No (faint) FPs no Heart....anyone else?

There was one thing on my list...I can't put my finger on it right now...

[Beebs52]

Could it be that you are one of the rare individuals whose heart is on the opposite side from normal? Probably not, since if that were the case it would be noted in your medical file.

SC - Do they have any idea what the reason is behind the malfunction? Is it a malfunction of the machine?


Ear - My friend is one of those people. I think, though not certain, that her other organs are on the opposite sides of where they should be as well. She says whenever she goes in for appointments at new places, she causes quite a stir.

I happen to be one of those weird people who have very, very faint finger prints. Even using the new types of machines, it takes forever to get a good, acceptable print. I think I'm in the wrong line of work. I need to take up a life of a street hooligan!


No (faint) FPs no Heart....anyone else?

There was one thing on my list...I can't put my finger on it right now...

Oil of Olay?

[Scarecrow]

BTW, Ms. SilverCamaro, I know a guy who's just right for you. He's a shiny metal color on the outside, and doesn't have a heartbeat, either.

Hold on, I'll see if I can get him to post...

[Rexer25]

Rocks in head (50+ year old brain cyst/tumor that began in utero)

Is utero down around Uvalde?

[Beebs52]

Rocks in head (50+ year old brain cyst/tumor that began in utero)

Is utero down around Uvalde?

I'm sure it's a bit more cluttered than Uvalde.

[Here's Fanny!]

Are you sure you didn't leave your heart in that other purse?

That is just weird.

No heart. No (faint) finger prints.

Rocks in head (50+ year old brain cyst/tumor that began in utero)

I only had 27 adult teeth form.

It's all China's fault, though. They pulled all my baby teeth at the age of 4 so I could compete in the Mexico City games. You know, incriminating evidence and all that.