Listen up BBs

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Merry Man
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Listen up BBs

#1 Post by Gunnery Sergeant Hartman » Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:21 pm

I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be sir. Do you maggots understand that?
BBs: Sir, yes Sir!
Bullshit I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.
BBs: SIR, YES SIR!

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I have less than one month to prepare you BBs for battle. Our enemy is named Fantine and she is hosting the greatest Bored challenge ever. She is sneaky and quick and will try to kill you. So what Bored challenge is our enemy bringing back?
BBs: Sir, Timeline®, Sir!
I can't hear you!
BBs: SIR, TIMELINE®, SIR!

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Private Littlebeast, did I hear you say PrimeTime®?
Private Littlebeast: Sir, no Sir.
Were you thinking QoD?
Private Littlebeast: Sir, no Sir.
Did the words 'lyrically speaking' even cross your mind, Private Littlebeast?
Private Littlebeast: Sir, no Sir.
Who is the enemy, Private Littlebeast?
Private Littlebeast: Sir, Fantine, Sir!
And what is she hosting in September?
Private Littlebeast: Sir, Timeline®, Sir!
Outstanding, Private Littlebeast. There's hope for you, yet.

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[Inspection]
Holy Jesus! What is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE ULY?
Private Uly: Sir, a squirrel avatar, sir!
A squirrel avatar?
Private Uly: Sir, yes, sir!
How did it get here?
Private Uly: Sir, I took it from the internet, sir!
Are avatars allowed in the barracks, Private Uly?
Private Uly: Sir, no, sir!
Are you allowed to have avatars, Private Uly?
Private Uly: Sir, no, sir!
And why not, Private Uly?
Private Uly: Sir, because I can't control myself, sir!
Because you are disgusting squirrel-loving, avatar-changing, photoshopping picture-taker Private Uly!
Private Uly: Sir, yes, sir!
Then why did you try to sneak a squirrel avatar in your foot locker, Private Uly?
Private Uly: Sir, because I wanted to post it, sir!
Because you wanted to post it...

Private Uly has dishonored himself and dishonored the Bored. I have tried to help him. But I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU BBs, have not given Private Uly the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Uly fucks up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU! And the way I see it BBs, you owe me for ONE SQUIRREL AVATAR!

NOW, GET DOWN ON YOUR FACES!



Timeline® wears a Full Metal Jacket

starting in September
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?
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silvercamaro
Dog's Best Friend
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:45 am

#2 Post by silvercamaro » Tue Aug 05, 2008 10:09 pm

This is funnier than the Paris Hilton for President commercial.

"See you at Timeline, bitches."
Now generating the White Hot Glare of Righteousness on behalf of BBs everywhere.
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ulysses5019
Purveyor of Avatars
Posts: 19442
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:52 am
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#3 Post by ulysses5019 » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:25 am

So you noticed my squirrel?
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.
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littlebeast13
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#4 Post by littlebeast13 » Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:16 am

Oh my God, I have never laughed so hard out loud at anything posted on this Bored before....

Seriously!!!!!

lb13
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MarleysGh0st
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#5 Post by MarleysGh0st » Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:23 am

Sir, this Timeline® promo is outstanding, Sir!
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kayrharris
Miss Congeniality
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#6 Post by kayrharris » Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:57 am

Very, very creative! And funny! :D
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. "
Benjamin Franklin
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Here's Fanny!
Peekaboo!
Posts: 1299
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:49 am

#7 Post by Here's Fanny! » Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:04 am

littlebeast13 wrote:Oh my God, I have never laughed so hard out loud at anything posted on this Bored before....

Seriously!!!!!

lb13
I'm trying very hard to not respond to these (it was tough to ignore my bud JJ!), but I concur. I still couldn't breathe the third time I read it. It actually seemed to get funnier every time.
Spoiler
I'm darned good and ready.
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minimetoo26
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#8 Post by minimetoo26 » Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:14 am

You didn't call me an ignorant slut and tell me to get off my pole and put on some decent clothes? I'm hurt, I tell ya! :P
Spoiler
Yes it is
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NellyLunatic1980
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#9 Post by NellyLunatic1980 » Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:21 am

minimetoo26 wrote:You didn't call me an ignorant slut and tell me to get off my pole and put on some decent clothes? I'm hurt, I tell ya! :P
I could tell you that, but it probably wouldn't be as funny coming from me. :wink:
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ulysses5019
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#10 Post by ulysses5019 » Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:16 am

Sir? Do we all owe you a squirrel, sir?
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.
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themanintheseersuckersuit
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#11 Post by themanintheseersuckersuit » Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:21 am

Bravo, Bravo, or Brava, Brava as the case may be. I enjoy trying to guess who's behind a MM, in this case I don't know who it was. I respectfully request that whoever did this come out from behind the curtain and take curtain call.
Suitguy is not bitter.

feels he represents the many educated and rational onlookers who believe that the hysterical denouncement of lay scepticism is both unwarranted and counter-productive

The problem, then, is that such calls do not address an opposition audience so much as they signal virtue. They talk past those who need convincing. They ignore actual facts and counterargument. And they are irreparably smug.
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Director_Of_Promos
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#12 Post by Director_Of_Promos » Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:53 pm

themanintheseersuckersuit wrote:I enjoy trying to guess who's behind a MM, in this case I don't know who it was. I respectfully request that whoever did this come out from behind the curtain and take curtain call.

I'm sorry, but all of our contributors have signed a confidentiality agreement.

Besides, there is no curtain. It's more of a drape.
Because you want to know.
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