Teenagers are like cats
- Bob Juch
- Posts: 27071
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Teenagers are like cats
From forwarded email:
How so? Well, consider:
Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
Even if you tell jokes as well as David Letterman, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.
No cat nor teenager shares your taste in music.
Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
No cat nor any teenager has ever improved anyone's furniture.
Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.
How so? Well, consider:
Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
Even if you tell jokes as well as David Letterman, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.
No cat nor teenager shares your taste in music.
Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
No cat nor any teenager has ever improved anyone's furniture.
Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- NellyLunatic1980
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Re: Teenagers are like cats
I dispute this one. DawsonLunatic likes to watch and lay by my Sirius radio when it's on.Bob Juch wrote:No cat nor teenager shares your taste in music.
- littlebeast13
- Dumbass
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Re: Teenagers are like cats
NellyLunatic1980 wrote:I dispute this one. DawsonLunatic likes to watch and lay by my Sirius radio when it's on.Bob Juch wrote:No cat nor teenager shares your taste in music.
I think age difference has a lot to do with this one. I'm only 20 years younger than my parents, so they were still listening to current music (Those wonderful 80's!) when I was growing up. The bigger the age difference, the less likely the musical tastes will synch....
lb13
- ulysses5019
- Purveyor of Avatars
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Re: Teenagers are like cats
Was the station playing the Stray Cats?NellyLunatic1980 wrote:I dispute this one. DawsonLunatic likes to watch and lay by my Sirius radio when it's on.Bob Juch wrote:No cat nor teenager shares your taste in music.
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.
- Bob Juch
- Posts: 27071
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
- Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
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Yes, and you're an A1 mama too!a1mamacat wrote:well that solves the mystery of the "eating tuna straight from the can" dilemma for me.
I do not have a teenager
I have a big cat
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
- BackInTex
- Posts: 13597
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 12:43 pm
- Location: In Texas of course!
So we now go from 2 to 4 suspects when we find poop on the rug?
..what country can preserve it’s liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? let them take arms.
~~ Thomas Jefferson
War is where the government tells you who the bad guy is.
Revolution is when you decide that for yourself.
-- Benjamin Franklin (maybe)
~~ Thomas Jefferson
War is where the government tells you who the bad guy is.
Revolution is when you decide that for yourself.
-- Benjamin Franklin (maybe)
- NellyLunatic1980
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Re: Teenagers are like cats
No, this station plays TYGA and Katt Williams. And occasionally, that pussy Eminem gets played.ulysses5019 wrote:Was the station playing the Stray Cats?NellyLunatic1980 wrote:I dispute this one. DawsonLunatic likes to watch and lay by my Sirius radio when it's on.Bob Juch wrote:No cat nor teenager shares your taste in music.
- ulysses5019
- Purveyor of Avatars
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- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:52 am
- Location: Los Angeles, CA
Re: Teenagers are like cats
What, no Cat Stevens?NellyLunatic1980 wrote:No, this station plays TYGA and Katt Williams. And occasionally, that pussy Eminem gets played.ulysses5019 wrote:Was the station playing the Stray Cats?NellyLunatic1980 wrote: I dispute this one. DawsonLunatic likes to watch and lay by my Sirius radio when it's on.
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.
- NellyLunatic1980
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Re: Teenagers are like cats
Nope. Wrong genre.ulysses5019 wrote:What, no Cat Stevens?NellyLunatic1980 wrote:No, this station plays TYGA and Katt Williams. And occasionally, that pussy Eminem gets played.ulysses5019 wrote: Was the station playing the Stray Cats?
- Chris Crocker
- Merry Man
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Re: Teenagers are like cats
LEAVE EMINEM ALONE! YOU'RE LUCKY HE PERFORMS FOR YOU BASTARDS!NellyLunatic1980 wrote:No, this station plays TYGA and Katt Williams. And occasionally, that pussy Eminem gets played.ulysses5019 wrote:Was the station playing the Stray Cats?NellyLunatic1980 wrote: I dispute this one. DawsonLunatic likes to watch and lay by my Sirius radio when it's on.
LEAVE ME ALONE!