Lyrically Speaking: Pun Pun Pun

[Vails]

Hi! Sorry I’m late, but I brought a gift!

It’s a one-time Lyrically Speaking quiz that will test not how well you can identify good songs but how well you can withstand bad puns.

Here’s the deal: Below is a list of clues. The answer to each clue is the title of a song—a title that has been changed somewhat. For example, the clue, “Overheard at sleepovers at the Neverland Ranch?” would yield the musical answer, “Can You Feel the Glove Tonight?” Yes, and they’re all about as tasteful as that, too.

What you need to do is come up with the altered song title for each clue. You have two other hints to help you solve these: The number of letters in each altered song title is included in parentheses, and a lyrical sample from each real song is listed, in no particular order, at the end. Feel free to google them...this is open book.

Good luck and have fun!

--Vails


1. How the Diamondbacks spent part of their postseason? (11)

2. Granite’s reluctant stance? (3,5,2,4,6)

3. Martha Stewart’s hunger-strike command in prison? (4,2,5,4)

4. “Hey, who’s that drunk intolerant movie director over there?” (5,3)

5. K-Fed’s unhappy discovery, circa 2006? (7,6,2,4,7)

6. Tennis analyst’s assessment of Frodo’s awesome service game? (4,6,2,5)

7. “Hey, can anyone tell me where can I find Idaho Senator Larry Craig?” (4,5)

8. Can’t pick a preference among aa and pahoehoe? (4,7,3,4)

9. A 20th-century UN Secretary General’s headstrong boast? (1,5,6,3,4,1,4)

10. Jennifer Wilbanks’s reminiscence at the terminal? (4,4,2,2,2,9)

11. Who the fortune-teller told Steve Irwin to watch out for? (3,3,2,7)

12. Pronouncement at the Come-as-Your-Favorite-Sushi masquerade ball? (2,3,5)

13. American Idol’s host in a mud puddle? (5,6,8)

14. “Why Yugoslavia no called Yugoslavia no more?” (10,3,4)










THE LYRICS


I could say day and you’d say night, tell me it’s black when I know that it’s white

I’m still mad as hell, I can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I walked down the hall, stand over by the wall, where I can see it all, find out who ya call

I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down

This used to be the place I ran to whenever I was in need

Watching in slow motion, as you turn around and say

Don’t tell anyone or you’ll be just another regret, hope that you can keep it

I saw her today at the reception, a glass of wine in her hand

Shot through the heart and you’re to blame

You almost had your hooks in me, didn’t you dear?

Now being without you takes a lot of getting used to

Whiskey bottles and brand new cars, oak tree you’re in my way, there’s too much coke and too much smoke

It’s all in me, Anything you want done baby, I’ll do it naturally

Lovin’ both of you is breaking all the rules

[TheConfessor]

Hi, Vails. I'll try a few of these.

2. Granite’s reluctant stance? (3,5,2,4,6)

Spoiler

NOT READY TO MAKE GNEISS

8. Can’t pick a preference among aa and pahoehoe? (4,7,3,4)

Spoiler

TORN BETWEEN TWO LAVA (lavas? but that would be 5 letters)

9. A 20th-century UN Secretary General’s headstrong boast? (1,5,6,3,4,1,4)

Spoiler

U THANT ALWAYS GET WHAT U WANT

[NellyLunatic1980]

1. How the Diamondbacks spent part of their postseason? (11)
"Cubthumping"

2. Granite’s reluctant stance? (3,5,2,4,6)
"Not Ready to Make Gneiss"

3. Martha Stewart’s hunger-strike command in prison? (4,2,5,4)
"Take My Bread Away"

4. “Hey, who’s that drunk intolerant movie director over there?” (5,3)
"That's Mel"

5. K-Fed’s unhappy discovery, circa 2006? (7,6,2,4,7)
"Someone Shaved My Wife Tonight"

6. Tennis analyst’s assessment of Frodo’s awesome service game? (4,6,2,5)
"Hard Hobbit to Break"

7. “Hey, can anyone tell me where can I find Idaho Senator Larry Craig?” (4,5)
"That Stall"

8. Can’t pick a preference among aa and pahoehoe? (4,7,3,4)
"Torn Between Two Lava"

9. A 20th-century UN Secretary General’s headstrong boast? (1,5,6,3,4,1,4)
"U Thant Always Get What U Want"

10. Jennifer Wilbanks’s reminiscence at the terminal? (4,4,2,2,2,9)
"This Used to Be My Greyhound"

11. Who the fortune-teller told Steve Irwin to watch out for? (3,3,2,7)
"One Ray or Another"

12. Pronouncement at the Come-as-Your-Favorite-Sushi masquerade ball? (2,3,5)
"I'm ... Woman" (sorry, I don't eat sushi)

13. American Idol’s host in a mud puddle? (5,6,8 )
"Dirty Little Seacrest"--ironically, by the All-American Rejects

14. “Why Yugoslavia no called Yugoslavia no more?” (10,3,4)
"Yugoslavia Bad Name"

[T_Bone0806]

This looks like fun, Vails!

I am off for the weekend to visit grandchildren, but I will play when I get back!!

[peacock2121]

1. How the Diamondbacks spent part of their postseason? (11)

Spoiler

Cubahunting

2. Granite’s reluctant stance? (3,5,2,4,6)

Spoiler

Not Ready To Make Gneiss

3. Martha Stewart’s hunger-strike command in prison? (4,2,5,4)

Spoiler

Take My Bread Away

4. “Hey, who’s that drunk intolerant movie director over there?” (5,3)

Spoiler

That's Mel

5. K-Fed’s unhappy discovery, circa 2006? (7,6,2,4,7)

Spoiler

Someone Shaved My Wife Tonight

6. Tennis analyst’s assessment of Frodo’s awesome service game? (4,6,2,5)

Spoiler

Hard Hobbit To Break

7. “Hey, can anyone tell me where can I find Idaho Senator Larry Craig?” (4,5)

Spoiler

That Stall

8. Can’t pick a preference among aa and pahoehoe? (4,7,3,4)

Spoiler

Torn Between Two Lavas

9. A 20th-century UN Secretary General’s headstrong boast? (1,5,6,3,4,1,4)

Spoiler

U Thant Always Get What I Want

10. Jennifer Wilbanks’s reminiscence at the terminal? (4,4,2,2,2,9)

Spoiler

This Used To Be My Greyhound

11. Who the fortune-teller told Steve Irwin to watch out for? (3,3,2,7)

Spoiler

One Ray Or Another

12. Pronouncement at the Come-as-Your-Favorite-Sushi masquerade ball? (2,3,5)

Spoiler

I'm Ebi Woman

13. American Idol’s host in a mud puddle? (5,6,8)

Spoiler

Dirty Little Seacrest

14. “Why Yugoslavia no called Yugoslavia no more?” (10,3,4)

Spoiler

Yugoslavia Bad Name

This was very fun - I learned so much by being able to google!