Wedding Blog: BD**2 - 31

[gsabc]

Officially within a month now.

The RSVP hunt is already progressing. Only one set of my group really needs to get back to me. It's the aunt and cousin who are mother and brother to the somewhat-off cousin, if you recall back in earlier entries. Her sister was concerned that she would be coming. There is apparently some issue between them that I don't know about. Anyway, the mother and brother have not responded, and given the internal family issues, I'm not as certain as I was that they're coming.

We may add one that I didn't know about. My uncle (Dad's youngest brother and the only surviving one) often travels with one of his cousins since their spouses have died. She may not be able to make it, but if she does, that's a guest I didn't think of.

By far the biggest missing group is from FSIL's family. MotG gave us some information last night, and will be checking up on others. I mentioned in another thread that she gave GW some insight into the Army's leave policies and what's probably happening with FSIL. MotG and FotG are both retired Army folks and I guess the process hasn't changed.

Last minute addition: Scratch three guests who were expected. A cousin and family can't make it (not the ones mentioned above). Her e-mail implied that we might get the RSVP today. I think they just couldn't arrange all of their schedules; attending summer weddings is problematic when there are teenagers to bring. It looks like we'll top out somewhere between 90-100, which is pretty much what we estimated at the start of the process.

Among the other things I need to check: do I tip the waiters/waitresses and bartender? There's an automatic 18% tacked onto the food bill, but does that include the tips, or is it more like, as a recently wed co-worker put it, "we're adding this amount to your bill for the privilege of booking our facility"?

[MarleysGh0st]

Among the other things I need to check: do I tip the waiters/waitresses and bartender? There's an automatic 18% tacked onto the food bill, but does that include the tips, or is it more like, as a recently wed co-worker put it, "we're adding this amount to your bill for the privilege of booking our facility"?

Huh?

What's that 18% called, if it isn't the gratuity?

Not that I'd be surprised if it was the "Wedding Blackmail Because We Can Get Away With It" charge.

[gsabc]

Among the other things I need to check: do I tip the waiters/waitresses and bartender? There's an automatic 18% tacked onto the food bill, but does that include the tips, or is it more like, as a recently wed co-worker put it, "we're adding this amount to your bill for the privilege of booking our facility"?

Huh?

What's that 18% called, if it isn't the gratuity?

Not that I'd be surprised if it was the "Wedding Blackmail Because We Can Get Away With It" charge.

I think it's a "service charge", but I'll have to check the contract. I need to do that anyway, to see if the tips are part of it.

"Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks he knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!"

[Rexer25]

Among the other things I need to check: do I tip the waiters/waitresses and bartender? There's an automatic 18% tacked onto the food bill, but does that include the tips, or is it more like, as a recently wed co-worker put it, "we're adding this amount to your bill for the privilege of booking our facility"?

Huh?

What's that 18% called, if it isn't the gratuity?

Not that I'd be surprised if it was the "Wedding Blackmail Because We Can Get Away With It" charge.

I thought it might be the "opening the bottles of Heinz and pouring them into little paper cups so it becomes Tangy Tomato Dipping Sauce" fee.

[tlynn78]

I would tip the help. I know, I know, tipping is the devil's work, enaht.

My sister managed a Hilton and they did a few weddings. She says, tip the help. Rexer is right, the 18% is the "opening the bottles of Heinz and pouring them into little paper cups so it becomes Tangy Tomato Dipping Sauce" fee.

I worked in food service businesses for years. I tip. I'm not gonna argue with anyone about it, but gsabc asked, so I answered.


t.

[5LD]

I used to wait tables for weddings and banquets putting myself thru college/grad school. It's a long process/day for your servers. There is a tip in there for the help - it will be split evenly among all servers. Its probably less than the 18% - so any extra you could add would be appreciated to be sure. They stay while you dance and party and clean everything up afterward. I often did not get home from wedding reception work until 2:30 or 3am. Had to tear it down and get it set up for Sunday brunch the next morning. Glad I don't do that anymore.

[tlynn78]

Glad I don't do that anymore

Amen, sister. Toughest job I ever loved. Usually the tip is equally divided, although the work/attitudes of the servers is not. If someone pays special attention, helps make the day better, easier, whatever, keep that in mind, as well.


t.

[Here's Fanny!]

I would tip the help. I know, I know, tipping is the devil's work, enaht.

My sister managed a Hilton and they did a few weddings. She says, tip the help. Rexer is right, the 18% is the "opening the bottles of Heinz and pouring them into little paper cups so it becomes Tangy Tomato Dipping Sauce" fee.

I worked in food service businesses for years. I tip. I'm not gonna argue with anyone about it, but gsabc asked, so I answered.


t.

There's an upside and a downside to that. As a former waitress they'll get some good coin from me in exchange for a good job. However, as a former waitress, I also know when they're half assing it and adjust said coin accordingly.

[tlynn78]

However, as a former waitress, I also know when they're half assing it and adjust said coin accordingly.

Amen sister, again. I agree 100%

t.

[sunflower]

The 18% is for the "salad dance" and the decorative napkin folding.

You should definitely tip, assuming the service is to your liking. If it's not, I also think you should address it as soon as possible, to give them a chance to fix things, and still have potential for the servers to make some money.

[Here's Fanny!]

However, as a former waitress, I also know when they're half assing it and adjust said coin accordingly.

Amen sister, again. I agree 100%

t.

Ha! Waitress, car lot, Judicial.

Any chance you've ever worked in a money room or made donuts?

[tlynn78]

Any chance you've ever worked in a money room or made donuts

No, there our paths diverge. However, I do spend money and eat donuts, so there you go.


t.

[sunflower]

Here's a link to a helpful article from theknot.com (source of information for all things wedding), with suggested tip amounts for all vendors.

http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html? ... rentID=527

[kayrharris]

I've had several catered events here at home that include the 18% gratuity on my bill. I'm not dealing with lots of servers when it's here, but I do always tip them.

Some may get more than others. The kind of service certainly helps determine that figure.

[christie1111]

I would tip the help. I know, I know, tipping is the devil's work, enaht.

My sister managed a Hilton and they did a few weddings. She says, tip the help. Rexer is right, the 18% is the "opening the bottles of Heinz and pouring them into little paper cups so it becomes Tangy Tomato Dipping Sauce" fee.

I worked in food service businesses for years. I tip. I'm not gonna argue with anyone about it, but gsabc asked, so I answered.


t.

There's an upside and a downside to that. As a former waitress they'll get some good coin from me in exchange for a good job. However, as a former waitress, I also know when they're half assing it and adjust said coin accordingly.

Exactly as I feel. I paid for under-grad all by myself waiting tables.

When they don't give a shit, I feel the same way about their tip.

[sunflower]

I think I'm more sympathetic toward waitstaff at banquets/receptions than regular waitstaff. With regular waitstaff in a restaurant, there is a direct relationship with the customer. 9 times out of 10, good service is rewarded with a good tip. Most people follow the 15% rule and while there are some jerks, if you work a Friday or Saturday night in a busy restaurant, you're most likely going to do well if you're a good server.

With wait staff at a reception, however, there is no direct relationship. You can make everyone at your 2 or 3 tables happy, but they're not the ones tipping. Plus there are often people that do not realize tipping is required. So the outcome can often be no gratuity for a long night's work. I'd rather be at Chili's raking in $350 in tips!!

But I guess my point is, with receptions, quality service is not always rewarded...so there is a lot less incentive to go above and beyond. So if you do find servers that do, please reward them!!