Transcript 10/25/07 - Rich Swanson
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Transcript 10/25/07 - Rich Swanson
Rich Swanson
Waterford, CT
Newspaper layout specialist
Meredith: Rich, I am itching to give away one of these Capital One checks, hopefully the million dollar check. Are you itching to get it?
Rich: Sure.
$100
On a standard Monopoly board, what space depicts an angry-looking person behind bars?
A: Free Parking B: Jail
C: Go D: Paris Hilton Place
$200
Featuring a rooster version that makes a "cock-a-doodle-doo" sound, Wacky Wakers is a brand of what?
A: Air conditioner B: Microwave
C: Alarm clock D: Vacuum cleaner
$300
Which of the following is not a standard topping on Pizza Hut's Meat Lover's Pizza?
A: Pepperoni B: Italian sausage
C: Bacon D: Green peppers
$500
Which of these government agencies would most likely employ a person who works as a "narc"?
A: SEC B: DEA
C: NASA D: FDIC
$1,000
In the title of the 2007 reality series "On the Lot," the slang term "lot" refers to which of these places?
A: A movie studio B: A college campus
C: A military base D: A hospital
$2,000
Which of these states has a postal abbreviation with the same spelling as a common preposition?
A: Hawaii B: Indiana
C: Ohio D: Alaska
Rich is thinking back to his "Schoolhouse Rock," but he can't remember the song about prepositions.
Rich: I think it's Indiana, which would be IN, pre-position, position being "in". Hawaii would be HI, Ohio would be OH--those are exclamations. Alaska would be AK, which is the sound I'll make if I flunk this question. I'm gonna say B: Indiana.
Meredith: Final?
Rich: Final.
-- Commercial Break --
Rich grew up in Rhode Island. As a fellow Rhode Islander, Meredith is a little partial to him.
$4,000
The Enlightenment was an eighteenth-century movement also commonly known as the "Age of" what?
A: Industry B: Reason
C: Progress D: Logic
Rich: I've heard of the Age of Reason. I've heard of the Age of Progress. A and C aren't ringing the bells here.
50/50 leaves B & D.
Audience: Oh!
Rich calls a coworker, Milt.
Milt: Reason.
Rich: Thank you!
Milt: I'm sure on that one.
Rich: Beautiful!
Audience: [Applause]
Meredith: Anything else you want to say to him?
Rich: They're applauding you. They ain't applauding me!
Rich will return on tomorrow's show.
Answers:
$100: B: Jail
$200: C: Alarm clock
$300: D: Green peppers
$500: B: DEA
$1,000: A: A movie studio
$2,000: B: Indiana
$4,000: B: Reason
Waterford, CT
Newspaper layout specialist
Meredith: Rich, I am itching to give away one of these Capital One checks, hopefully the million dollar check. Are you itching to get it?
Rich: Sure.
$100
On a standard Monopoly board, what space depicts an angry-looking person behind bars?
A: Free Parking B: Jail
C: Go D: Paris Hilton Place
$200
Featuring a rooster version that makes a "cock-a-doodle-doo" sound, Wacky Wakers is a brand of what?
A: Air conditioner B: Microwave
C: Alarm clock D: Vacuum cleaner
$300
Which of the following is not a standard topping on Pizza Hut's Meat Lover's Pizza?
A: Pepperoni B: Italian sausage
C: Bacon D: Green peppers
$500
Which of these government agencies would most likely employ a person who works as a "narc"?
A: SEC B: DEA
C: NASA D: FDIC
$1,000
In the title of the 2007 reality series "On the Lot," the slang term "lot" refers to which of these places?
A: A movie studio B: A college campus
C: A military base D: A hospital
$2,000
Which of these states has a postal abbreviation with the same spelling as a common preposition?
A: Hawaii B: Indiana
C: Ohio D: Alaska
Rich is thinking back to his "Schoolhouse Rock," but he can't remember the song about prepositions.
Rich: I think it's Indiana, which would be IN, pre-position, position being "in". Hawaii would be HI, Ohio would be OH--those are exclamations. Alaska would be AK, which is the sound I'll make if I flunk this question. I'm gonna say B: Indiana.
Meredith: Final?
Rich: Final.
-- Commercial Break --
Rich grew up in Rhode Island. As a fellow Rhode Islander, Meredith is a little partial to him.
$4,000
The Enlightenment was an eighteenth-century movement also commonly known as the "Age of" what?
A: Industry B: Reason
C: Progress D: Logic
Rich: I've heard of the Age of Reason. I've heard of the Age of Progress. A and C aren't ringing the bells here.
50/50 leaves B & D.
Audience: Oh!
Rich calls a coworker, Milt.
Milt: Reason.
Rich: Thank you!
Milt: I'm sure on that one.
Rich: Beautiful!
Audience: [Applause]
Meredith: Anything else you want to say to him?
Rich: They're applauding you. They ain't applauding me!
Rich will return on tomorrow's show.
Answers:
$100: B: Jail
$200: C: Alarm clock
$300: D: Green peppers
$500: B: DEA
$1,000: A: A movie studio
$2,000: B: Indiana
$4,000: B: Reason
- NellyLunatic1980
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- earendel
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Re: Transcript 10/25/07 - Rich Swanson
So far it's nihil obstat® for me.BBTranscriptTeam wrote:Rich Swanson
Waterford, CT
Newspaper layout specialist
"Elen sila lumenn omentielvo...A star shines on the hour of our meeting."
- MarleysGh0st
- Posts: 27965
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:55 am
- Location: Elsewhere
Re: Transcript 10/25/07 - Rich Swanson
Rich is a MAWG and Waterford (southeastern CT, near New London) isn't even in Where Else territory I'm still waiting to see what his successful hook was. This flat opening banter sure wasn't it.BBTranscriptTeam wrote:Rich Swanson
Waterford, CT
Newspaper layout specialist
Meredith: Rich, I am itching to give away one of these Capital One checks, hopefully the million dollar check. Are you itching to get it?
Rich: Sure.
Some of his deliberation on the stack were funny, though.

- MyBigFatFabulousBrain
- Merry Man
- Posts: 38
- Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 5:40 am
- Location: Surrounded by dumbasses
Rich Swanson
Waterford, CT
Newspaper layout specialist
Meredith: Rich, I am itching to give away one of these Capital One checks, hopefully the million dollar check. Are you itching to get it?
Rich: Sure.
I am always happy when the transcribers include all the juicy bits so that I can fully appreciate what kind of dumbasses they bring on this show. But there are times like this when, to preserve what's left of the integrity of this show, they should probably do all they can to snuff insane remarks like this out....
$100
On a standard Monopoly board, what space depicts an angry-looking person behind bars?
A: Free Parking B: Jail
C: Go D: Paris Hilton Place
$200
Featuring a rooster version that makes a "cock-a-doodle-doo" sound, Wacky Wakers is a brand of what?
A: Air conditioner B: Microwave
C: Alarm clock D: Vacuum cleaner
$300
Which of the following is not a standard topping on Pizza Hut's Meat Lover's Pizza?
A: Pepperoni B: Italian sausage
C: Bacon D: Green peppers
$500
Which of these government agencies would most likely employ a person who works as a "narc"?
A: SEC B: DEA
C: NASA D: FDIC
$1,000
In the title of the 2007 reality series "On the Lot," the slang term "lot" refers to which of these places?
A: A movie studio B: A college campus
C: A military base D: A hospital
Yeah, we all know the best place to find reality is at a damn movie studio....
$2,000
Which of these states has a postal abbreviation with the same spelling as a common preposition?
A: Hawaii B: Indiana
C: Ohio D: Alaska
Rich is thinking back to his "Schoolhouse Rock," but he can't remember the song about prepositions.
Most of us didn't need Schoolhouse Rock to be able to remember what our totally uncool teachers taught us in grammar class, Rich.
Rich: I think it's Indiana, which would be IN, pre-position, position being "in".
You are talking gibberish to figure out a damn 4th grade question...
Hawaii would be HI, Ohio would be OH--those are exclamations.
I'll give you an example. OH my God this guy's a friggin' dumbass!
Alaska would be AK, which is the sound I'll make if I flunk this question. I'm gonna say B: Indiana.
It's spelled "Ack", genius...
Meredith: Final?
Rich: Final.
Meredith and Rich are idiots. The conjunction is "and". Conunction junction, what's your function? And's function is to make sure that we know that both Mere and Rich are contributing to the aura of stupidity that constantly surrounds this show.
Rich grew up in Rhode Island. As a fellow Rhode Islander, Meredith is a little partial to him.
Would it really be that hard to dig a big enough ditch at the Connecticut and Massachusetts borders to send Rhode Island out into the sea? Never has such a small state done so much damage to a vital institution like WWTBAM...
$4,000
The Enlightenment was an eighteenth-century movement also commonly known as the "Age of" what?
A: Industry B: Reason
C: Progress D: Logic
Rich: I've heard of the Age of Reason. I've heard of the Age of Progress. A and C aren't ringing the bells here.
That's because the Enlightenment hasn't made its way to you yet, Rich. Just be patient for a few more centuries...
50/50 leaves B & D.
Audience: Oh!
Rich calls a coworker, Milt.
Someone living in the Age of Reason would have figured out by now that if the 50/50 took away one of the two answers they were deciding between, that the correct answer is most likely the one that is left.
Milt: Reason.
Poor Milt. He probably has to constantly help you out at work, like show you which way the newspaper goes in to make it print right side up, or point out which symbol represents the Mens room...
Rich: Thank you!
Milt: I'm sure on that one.
Rich: Beautiful!
Audience: [Applause]
I'm sorry, but I couldn't be in an audience where I was expected to applaud everytime some moron had to utter several illogical statements and waste two lifelines before coming to an undeniable conclusion that most people past the fetus stage would have known before all the choices even popped up...
Meredith: Anything else you want to say to him?
Rich: They're applauding you. They ain't applauding me!
At least you've somehow wrung enough sense out of your brain to realize you deserve no applause, even from an audience that needs a big flashing sign to know when to start clapping its hands...
Nihil Obstat®
Waterford, CT
Newspaper layout specialist
Meredith: Rich, I am itching to give away one of these Capital One checks, hopefully the million dollar check. Are you itching to get it?
Rich: Sure.
I am always happy when the transcribers include all the juicy bits so that I can fully appreciate what kind of dumbasses they bring on this show. But there are times like this when, to preserve what's left of the integrity of this show, they should probably do all they can to snuff insane remarks like this out....
$100
On a standard Monopoly board, what space depicts an angry-looking person behind bars?
A: Free Parking B: Jail
C: Go D: Paris Hilton Place
$200
Featuring a rooster version that makes a "cock-a-doodle-doo" sound, Wacky Wakers is a brand of what?
A: Air conditioner B: Microwave
C: Alarm clock D: Vacuum cleaner
$300
Which of the following is not a standard topping on Pizza Hut's Meat Lover's Pizza?
A: Pepperoni B: Italian sausage
C: Bacon D: Green peppers
$500
Which of these government agencies would most likely employ a person who works as a "narc"?
A: SEC B: DEA
C: NASA D: FDIC
$1,000
In the title of the 2007 reality series "On the Lot," the slang term "lot" refers to which of these places?
A: A movie studio B: A college campus
C: A military base D: A hospital
Yeah, we all know the best place to find reality is at a damn movie studio....
$2,000
Which of these states has a postal abbreviation with the same spelling as a common preposition?
A: Hawaii B: Indiana
C: Ohio D: Alaska
Rich is thinking back to his "Schoolhouse Rock," but he can't remember the song about prepositions.
Most of us didn't need Schoolhouse Rock to be able to remember what our totally uncool teachers taught us in grammar class, Rich.
Rich: I think it's Indiana, which would be IN, pre-position, position being "in".
You are talking gibberish to figure out a damn 4th grade question...
Hawaii would be HI, Ohio would be OH--those are exclamations.
I'll give you an example. OH my God this guy's a friggin' dumbass!
Alaska would be AK, which is the sound I'll make if I flunk this question. I'm gonna say B: Indiana.
It's spelled "Ack", genius...
Meredith: Final?
Rich: Final.
Meredith and Rich are idiots. The conjunction is "and". Conunction junction, what's your function? And's function is to make sure that we know that both Mere and Rich are contributing to the aura of stupidity that constantly surrounds this show.
Rich grew up in Rhode Island. As a fellow Rhode Islander, Meredith is a little partial to him.
Would it really be that hard to dig a big enough ditch at the Connecticut and Massachusetts borders to send Rhode Island out into the sea? Never has such a small state done so much damage to a vital institution like WWTBAM...
$4,000
The Enlightenment was an eighteenth-century movement also commonly known as the "Age of" what?
A: Industry B: Reason
C: Progress D: Logic
Rich: I've heard of the Age of Reason. I've heard of the Age of Progress. A and C aren't ringing the bells here.
That's because the Enlightenment hasn't made its way to you yet, Rich. Just be patient for a few more centuries...
50/50 leaves B & D.
Audience: Oh!
Rich calls a coworker, Milt.
Someone living in the Age of Reason would have figured out by now that if the 50/50 took away one of the two answers they were deciding between, that the correct answer is most likely the one that is left.
Milt: Reason.
Poor Milt. He probably has to constantly help you out at work, like show you which way the newspaper goes in to make it print right side up, or point out which symbol represents the Mens room...
Rich: Thank you!
Milt: I'm sure on that one.
Rich: Beautiful!
Audience: [Applause]
I'm sorry, but I couldn't be in an audience where I was expected to applaud everytime some moron had to utter several illogical statements and waste two lifelines before coming to an undeniable conclusion that most people past the fetus stage would have known before all the choices even popped up...
Meredith: Anything else you want to say to him?
Rich: They're applauding you. They ain't applauding me!
At least you've somehow wrung enough sense out of your brain to realize you deserve no applause, even from an audience that needs a big flashing sign to know when to start clapping its hands...
Nihil Obstat®
It's sarcasm, get over it already!
- MarleysGh0st
- Posts: 27965
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:55 am
- Location: Elsewhere
I know how you rely on our transcriptions, MBFFB, because your TV set is so often inexplicably broken. Getting the banter typed just right to capture all the tonal subtleties can be challenging, at times.MyBigFatFabulousBrain wrote: Meredith: Rich, I am itching to give away one of these Capital One checks, hopefully the million dollar check. Are you itching to get it?
Rich: Sure.
I am always happy when the transcribers include all the juicy bits so that I can fully appreciate what kind of dumbasses they bring on this show. But there are times like this when, to preserve what's left of the integrity of this show, they should probably do all they can to snuff insane remarks like this out....
Note here how Rich said "Sure." instead of "Sure!" -- thereby capturing the flat and unenthusiastic tone of his reply.
