A joke about......lettuce

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ulysses5019 · #1 Post by **ulysses5019** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 5:50 pm

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some asshole wants to buy a half head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here.

Where are you from, son?" "Oklahoma, sir." the boy replied. "Well, why did you l eave Oklahoma?" the manager asked. The boy said "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players down there.

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Oklahoma."

"No shit?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

silvercamaro · #2 Post by **silvercamaro** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:16 pm

Pretty funny. Although I realize I'm not the only Oklahoman, I do feel special.

And, because you all want to know, I was a pass receiver. I figured that would combine the best of all possible worlds.

christie1111 · #3 Post by **christie1111** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:21 pm

silvercamaro wrote:

And, because you all want to know, I was a pass receiver.

And I am quite sure you received quite a few.

So Son1111 added a lettuce joke of his own after I read this (with some paraphrasing, of course)

What made the tomato blush?

The salad dressing!

ulysses5019 · #4 Post by **ulysses5019** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:32 pm

LOL at salad dressing!

And as far as sliver being a receiver, this musta been in the wishbone era. So I'm sure your hands are unsullied by any passes though your footwork would have led to some pantsing of opposing dbs.

kayrharris · #5 Post by **kayrharris** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:52 pm

ulysses5019 wrote:LOL at salad dressing!

And as far as sliver being a receiver, this musta been in the wishbone era. So I'm sure your hands are unsullied by any passes though your footwork would have led to some pantsing of opposing dbs.

You really need to change your avatar (like that's a hard thing for you to do) if you're going to post about football. This one is just wrong.

AnnieCamaro · #6 Post by **AnnieCamaro** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:21 pm

ulysses5019 wrote:
And as far as sliver being a receiver, this musta been in the wishbone era.

Wishbone? My mom played football with Wishbone, the great actor? When I was younger, I loved his television show on PBS. I learned a lot about history from that show, too.

My mom never told me she knew him.

/:P\

mellytu74 · #7 Post by **mellytu74** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:11 pm

Miss Annie Camaro!!!!

I MET Wishbone! I have a pawtographed picture.

Years ago, he made a personal appearance at Willow Grove Mall, near us in Philadelphia.

The actresses who played Joe's mother and the neighbor were there. Wishbone sat on a platform and did tricks for us.

My goddaughter - the alleged reason we went - had fun but the adults had more fun.

Miss Denise had never seen Wishbone before we met but now she watched Wishbone with me on our local PBS station on Saturday mornings.

AnnieCamaro · #8 Post by **AnnieCamaro** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:21 pm

mellytu74 wrote:Miss Annie Camaro!!!!

I MET Wishbone! I have a pawtographed picture.

Years ago, he made a personal appearance at Willow Grove Mall, near us in Philadelphia.

Miss Melly, you are so lucky! I love Wishbone. I don't mean I LOVE Wishbone, as he would be a little short for me, but I love him. I'm glad Denise watched his how, too.

By the way, Denise needs to know my new friend, BeansCat. Beans is both nice and funny.

mellytu74 · #9 Post by **mellytu74** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:31 pm

I read about BeansCat's efforts to get on the board.

Is BeansCat's person a regular here or did Beans find us itself?

AnnieCamaro · #10 Post by **AnnieCamaro** » Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:21 pm

mellytu74 wrote:
Is BeansCat's person a regular here or did Beans find us itself?

I am not sure. I don't even know if Beans is a boycat or a girlcat. It seemed rude to ask. Beans is a LOLcat, though. I am learning his/her/its language, which spells words in a most unusual way.

Srsly.

See?

ulysses5019 · #11 Post by **ulysses5019** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:23 am

Is this a better avatar?

BeansCat · #12 Post by **BeansCat** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:32 am

AnnieCamaro wrote:
mellytu74 wrote:
Is BeansCat's person a regular here or did Beans find us itself?
I am not sure. I don't even know if Beans is a boycat or a girlcat. It seemed rude to ask. Beans is a LOLcat, though. I am learning his/her/its language, which spells words in a most unusual way.

Srsly.

See?

I em a gurlcat but I alreddy hadd de sergury.

My human is alreddy heer wif a difrennt naem.

Mis Annie, I made yu a sawsage. But I eated it.

BeansCat

kayrharris · #13 Post by **kayrharris** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:05 am

ulysses5019 wrote:Is this a better avatar?

Much better, thank you!

Appa23 · #14 Post by **Appa23** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:44 pm

silvercamaro wrote:And, because you all want to know, I was a pass receiver.

Is that you, Jon Harrison?

[inside joke]

andrewjackson · #15 Post by **andrewjackson** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:01 pm

My favorite map of Texas

http://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/image.ph ... 1208456691

I don't know how to post it as an image here.

TheCalvinator24 · #16 Post by **TheCalvinator24** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:17 pm

andrewjackson wrote:My favorite map of Texas

http://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/image.ph ... 1208456691

I don't know how to post it as an image here.

That pic is really too small to see the details. I think I get the joke, but I'm not sure because I can't see it well enough.