Meanwhile, in Florida...

[silverscreenselect]

In nearby Louisiana:

Camel sat on Milton woman when she crawled into his pen. So she bit his testicles.

A Milton woman bit a 600-pound camel's testicles Wednesday when it sat on her after she crawled into an enclosure at a petting zoo.

The petting zoo was at the Tiger Truck Stop in Grosse Tete, Louisiana.

I don't think she understands the meaning of "petting zoo."

[BackInTex]

In nearby Louisiana:

Camel sat on Milton woman when she crawled into his pen. So she bit his testicles.

A Milton woman bit a 600-pound camel's testicles Wednesday when it sat on her after she crawled into an enclosure at a petting zoo.

The petting zoo was at the Tiger Truck Stop in Grosse Tete, Louisiana.

I don't think she understands the meaning of "petting zoo."

I’m pretty sure I’ve stopped there before, to pee, probably. I didn’t see a camel, not that I actually paid much attention to the petting zoo.

[jarnon]

Man Flew 4,500 Miles to Surprise Father-in-Law, But as He Jumped Out of Bushes He Shot Him

Such a sad story

[Vandal]

Florida man has eaten almost nothing but macaroni and cheese for 17 years

It sounds like just another wacky Florida Man story: A Florida man has eaten almost nothing but macaroni and cheese for 17 years.

But it’s not a joke.

In a newly published video interview, Vice Media allows the 20-year-old, identified only as Austin, to share the circumstances of his life that led him to cling to the bright yellow pasta for comfort after escaping an abusive childhood.

He’ll eat a variety of brands, but his “ride or die” is Velveeta brand shells, with the creamy cheese product he squeezes out of a foil packet.

https://www.pilotonline.com/nation-worl ... story.html

[SportsFan68]

Florida man has eaten almost nothing but macaroni and cheese for 17 years

It sounds like just another wacky Florida Man story: A Florida man has eaten almost nothing but macaroni and cheese for 17 years.

But it’s not a joke.

In a newly published video interview, Vice Media allows the 20-year-old, identified only as Austin, to share the circumstances of his life that led him to cling to the bright yellow pasta for comfort after escaping an abusive childhood.

He’ll eat a variety of brands, but his “ride or die” is Velveeta brand shells, with the creamy cheese product he squeezes out of a foil packet.

https://www.pilotonline.com/nation-worl ... story.html

How is this guy still alive?

[Bob78164]

In nearby Louisiana:

Camel sat on Milton woman when she crawled into his pen. So she bit his testicles.

A Milton woman bit a 600-pound camel's testicles Wednesday when it sat on her after she crawled into an enclosure at a petting zoo.

The petting zoo was at the Tiger Truck Stop in Grosse Tete, Louisiana.

I don't think she understands the meaning of "petting zoo."

Maybe she's just into heavy petting. --Bob

[Vandal]

Florida man couldn’t ‘let it go,’ arrested after having sex with stuffed ‘Frozen’ Olaf doll at Target

A Florida man was arrested Tuesday after he had sex with multiple stuffed animals at a local Target, according to Pinellas County court documents.

Cody Christopher Meader, 20, of St. Petersburg was taken Tuesday to Pinellas County Jail and faces a criminal mischief charge, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.

Meader entered the Target located off 7150 U.S. Highway 19 in Pinellas Park at 2 p.m. Tuesday and walked to the toy aisle, records show.

He then grabbed a stuffed “Olaf" doll and proceeded to “dry hump” it before ejaculating on it, said Pinellas Park Police Officer Shaun Grantham.

The sentient snowman who “likes warm hugs” is a popular character in Disney’s smash hit “Frozen," which is set to have a sequel premiere Nov. 22 - also featuring Olaf.

When Meader finished with the Olaf doll, he put it back on the shelf, and then walked to a large stuffed unicorn doll, laid it on the floor and dry humped it as well, Grantham said.

PPPD officers arrived and arrested Meader in the store.

Meader confessed to officers that he had done the “stupid stuff” and had “nutted” on the Olaf doll, Grantham said.

The merchandise was unable to be re-sold and was destroyed, Grantham said.

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/fl ... story.html

[Mitzi The Bimbocorn]

When Meader finished with the Olaf doll, he put it back on the shelf, and then walked to a large stuffed unicorn doll, laid it on the floor and dry humped it as well, Grantham said.

Mitzi, like, totally doesn't want to press charges! It was so much better than having four year old brats slobber on Mitzi's pwetty fur....

[silverscreenselect]

Florida man couldn’t ‘let it go,’

They actually mentioned this on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update last night. Host Colin Jost added a great line when he said he was surprised that this guy used an Olaf doll, because most people just use their Hans.

[Vandal]

Florida man in Trump costume punched in face by 14-year-old girl: cops

A Florida man dressed as President Trump allegedly got decked in the jaw by a teenage girl — whose friends filmed the thwacking and posted it on Instagram, officials said.

The costumed victim was waiting in line for the haunted house at the Collier County Fairgrounds with his wife and stepdaughter Saturday around 8:30 p.m., when a 14-year-old girl walked up to him and punched him, authorities said.

Then, “she laughed and ran back to her place in line,” with her four friends, the man told cops, according to a Collier County Sheriff’s office incident report.

The man walked over to the teen and asked why she’d hit him.

“I told her I was with my family here to have a good time,” he said, according to the report.

Deputies said the girl’s “sole motivation was to strike ‘Trump.’ ”

She was booted from the fairgrounds and may be facing a misdemeanor charge of battery, pending an investigation.

A staffer with the Collier County school system told cops that a video of the girl punching the ersatz Trump was posted on Instagram.

https://nypost.com/2019/10/29/florida-m ... girl-cops/

[mrkelley23]

My favorite Florida man story of the week.

[Vandal]

California checks in:

A Bucket of Hot Diarrhea Was Randomly Poured on a Woman by a Homeless Man

A night near the Hollywood Walk of Fame would change a woman's life, as she was getting into her car and a homeless man sprinted across Hollywood Boulevard toward her.

Heidi Van Tassel was parked in Hollywood after having a pleasant evening out with friends at an authentic Thai restaurant. Suddenly a man randomly pulled her out of the car, dragged her out to the middle of the street, and dumped a bucket of feces on her head, Van Tassel said and public records confirm.

"It was diarrhea. Hot liquid. I was soaked, and it was coming off my eyelashes and into my eyes," Van Tassel said. "Paramedics who came to treat me said there was so much of it on me, that it looked like the man was saving it up for a month."

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/loca ... 85101.html

[flockofseagulls104]

California checks in:

A Bucket of Hot Diarrhea Was Randomly Poured on a Woman by a Homeless Man

A night near the Hollywood Walk of Fame would change a woman's life, as she was getting into her car and a homeless man sprinted across Hollywood Boulevard toward her.

Heidi Van Tassel was parked in Hollywood after having a pleasant evening out with friends at an authentic Thai restaurant. Suddenly a man randomly pulled her out of the car, dragged her out to the middle of the street, and dumped a bucket of feces on her head, Van Tassel said and public records confirm.

"It was diarrhea. Hot liquid. I was soaked, and it was coming off my eyelashes and into my eyes," Van Tassel said. "Paramedics who came to treat me said there was so much of it on me, that it looked like the man was saving it up for a month."

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/loca ... 85101.html

Gavin Newsome has introduced a bill to ban buckets.

[Chronic Diarrhea]

California checks in:

A Bucket of Hot Diarrhea Was Randomly Poured on a Woman by a Homeless Man

A night near the Hollywood Walk of Fame would change a woman's life, as she was getting into her car and a homeless man sprinted across Hollywood Boulevard toward her.

Heidi Van Tassel was parked in Hollywood after having a pleasant evening out with friends at an authentic Thai restaurant. Suddenly a man randomly pulled her out of the car, dragged her out to the middle of the street, and dumped a bucket of feces on her head, Van Tassel said and public records confirm.

"It was diarrhea. Hot liquid. I was soaked, and it was coming off my eyelashes and into my eyes," Van Tassel said. "Paramedics who came to treat me said there was so much of it on me, that it looked like the man was saving it up for a month."

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/loca ... 85101.html

It wasn't me! I live in Flooooooooooorida.....ooooooooohhhhhh!!!!

[Vandal]

Indiana wants me, but I can't go back there:

Three Indiana judges have been suspended for "behaving in an injudicious manner" after a failed attempt to visit a strip club led to a drunken brawl outside an Indianapolis White Castle that ended with two of the judges being shot

Back in May, three Indiana judges got into a fight. It was the crescendo of an incident brimming with colorful details: a gaggle of judges drinking the night before a judicial conference, a failed attempt to visit a strip club called the Red Garter, a brawl in the parking lot of an Indianapolis White Castle.

The altercation apparently started sometime after 3 a.m., when one of the judges, Sabrina Bell, raised a middle finger at two men yelling from a passing SUV, and ended after one of those men shot two of the judges.

In between, the three judges took a number of actions that "discredited the entire Indiana judiciary," according to an opinion posted by the Indiana Supreme Court this week, suspending the judges.

The court found that the three — Andrew Adams, Bradley Jacobs and Sabrina Bell — had "engaged in judicial misconduct by appearing in public in an intoxicated state and behaving in an injudicious manner and by becoming involved in a verbal altercation." Adams and Jacobs engaged in further judicial misconduct "by becoming involved in a physical altercation for which Judge Adams was criminally charged and convicted."

https://www.npr.org/2019/11/14/77933989 ... rm=nprnews

[jarnon]

[Lizbit]

Maybe that driverdog just wanted to listen to Beatles music on Sirius radio. That's what Wiki and me would do if we had a circle street like that.

And if we could get Mom's car keys.

[Vandal]

Massachusetts checks in:

U.S. NEWS
5-year-old brings cocaine to class, says it makes him 'feel like Spider-Man,' dad arrested

A Massachusetts father is being held in jail after his 5-year-old brought a bag of cocaine to his kindergarten class and said it made him feel like Spider-Man.

The child brought a small bag of cocaine to Lawrence Elementary School in Holyoke, Massachusetts, 90 minutes west of Boston, on Thursday, Lt. Jim Albert of the Holyoke Police told NBC news.

When the boy showed the cocaine to the teacher he said he puts the powder in his mouth and it makes him "feel like Spider-Man," Albert said. The baggie was stamped with images of Spider-Man. The teacher notified the school's principal who immediately called the police.

Police called an ambulance and brought the boy to the hospital as a precaution, even though the drugs were sealed. Authorities said they don't believe the boy ingested the cocaine.

Holyoke cops also went to the boy's home, where they found his father, Benny Garcia, asleep with 38 bags of cocaine and 70 bags of heroin in the house. Garcia had an outstanding warrant for narcotics, and is now facing additional charges, Lt. Albert said.

Police said another child, an infant, lived in Garcia's home with their mother, but both kids have been taken into child services

.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1084331

[Vandal]

A Florida man had an unusual visitor on Christmas Eve ― one who had toes, not toys, on his mind.

The unnamed victim said he woke up and discovered his toes were being sucked by a stranger, according to Orlando station WKMG TV.

Even more disturbing, when the victim asked his visitor what was going on, the man said he “was there to suck toes,” according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Department.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/toe-suck ... 520d269573

[jarnon]

I represent more troops than any other member of this body. I buried one of them earlier today at Arlington.

If our servicemembers have the courage to fight and die in these wars, Congress ought to have the courage to vote for or against them.

I’m voting for this resolution.

[Vandal]

I represent more troops than any other member of this body. I buried one of them earlier today at Arlington.

If our servicemembers have the courage to fight and die in these wars, Congress ought to have the courage to vote for or against them.

I’m voting for this resolution.

Is there a war in Florida I don’t know about?

[jarnon]

I represent more troops than any other member of this body. I buried one of them earlier today at Arlington.

If our servicemembers have the courage to fight and die in these wars, Congress ought to have the courage to vote for or against them.

I’m voting for this resolution.

Is there a war in Florida I don’t know about?

OK I'll move this post to a different topic.

[jarnon]

Former Mrs. Florida headed to prison for stealing elderly mom’s SSI checks

He also ordered Turk to perform 100 hours of community service at a nursing home — a reminder of the time she never spent with her own mother who spent three years in a Lake Worth facility, ravaged by Alzheimer’s disease.

[jarnon]

FHP: Volunteer troopers catch suspected Delray carjacker

Florida Man arrested for hanging from a traffic light and pooping on cars

[silverscreenselect]

Florida woman tried to build a bomb inside a Walmart using items she didn't pay for