![Image](http://www.filminamerica.com/Movies/TheToweringInferno/towering13.jpg)
Scene: The Bored. One of the tallest internet sites in cyberspace. A shiny testament to American ingenuity…
…and excess.
Scene: The dedication of The Bored a week after it opens. Many of those responsible for getting it built have gathered
for a party high up in the Promenade Forum.
Meet Bored architect TBone Roberts:
His fiancé TGirl (The T- couple are so cute):
LB the Bored builder:
Lead software designer Flock:
![Image](http://www.uncleodiescollectibles.com/img_lib/Towering%20Inferno%20110%207-25-12.jpg)
“Seasoned” couple Beebs and Jarnon:
Sprots, Tangredi and other guests cut the ribbon and The Bored is officially re-opened!
Scene: Bored Administrator SSS notices that a spark from a political post has started a fire a few floors below the party…
![Image](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYWEzZDc4NDUtZjVmNS00MmJlLWFiZjYtOTFiMzBkZjk1NTFjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDc4MDg1Mzg@._V1_.jpg)
and he notifies his supervisor...
![Image](http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee18/DemolitionMan3417/ThetowringinfernoOJSimpson2.jpg)
who contacts TBone:
![Image](https://assets.catawiki.nl/assets/2017/9/27/4/5/0/45041e63-9af3-42eb-9fd2-dcdd7e9db009.jpg)
who breaks the news to TGirl:
![Image](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTkyMTg5NDc5M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMzc0NzM2._V1_.jpg)
TGirl: What’s the matter?
TBone: Just a little fire that could spread through the entire building, engulfing us in a deadly inferno.
TGirl: What should we do?
![Image](https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/48c212d4-0ac0-4c19-8d61-9c5c98ee6b22_1.8191e7b7d65ec813667b80c1b6d6b2f9.jpeg?odnHeight=450&odnWidth=450&odnBg=FFFFFF)
TBone: We’re half-naked, gorgeous and in bed. What do you think we should do?
TGirl: Good point, big boy.
Scene: LB and Flock discuss the shortcuts made during the building of the Bored
![Image](https://charsmoviereviews.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/screenshot5.png?w=676)
LB: Did you change any of TBone’s HTML specifications?
![Image](https://thewonderfulworldofcinema.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/001ec71e_medium.jpg?w=570&h=242)
Flock: I most certainly did.
LB: For God’s sakes why? You knew the political traffic would be high on the main forum.
Flock: We were running over budget and out of money. Besides, all the polls said SHE was supposed to win, remember?
If SHE won, we wouldn’t be having these problems.
![Image](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dXO7P-r1vSE/hqdefault.jpg)
LB: Well, SHE lost. And now a spark from the Mueller thread is threatening the entire building.
![Image](https://onceuponascreen.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/in-the-towering-inferno-1974.jpg)
Flock: That doesn’t make any sense. None of this promo makes any sense!
![Image](http://www.richardchamberlain.net/additionsfromjuly2012/007_toweringinferno.jpg)
Scene: LB stops for a smoke and calls his agent
LB: Get me the hell out of this crappy promo!
Scene: Bored fire chief BiT arrives to assess the situation
![Image](http://www.iann.net/movies/towering_inferno/cast/images/steve_mcqueen.jpg)
and meets up with TBone and TGirl
![Image](https://cdn1.thr.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/landscape_928x523/2018/07/towering_inferno_1974_26_edit0-h_2018.jpg)
Scene: BiT calls his agent
![Image](http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kr0o2yUwEo1qzexpio1_500.jpg)
BiT: Get the me the hell out of this crappy promo, now!
Scene: BBs begin to panic and make a run for the Transcripts Forum…
but there is no escape!
![Image](http://www.iann.net/movies/towering_inferno/cast/images/mike_johnson.jpg)
![Image](http://www.iann.net/movies/towering_inferno/gallery/stunts/images/mike_johnson_elevator.jpg)
Scene: Fire crews arrive and begin to put out the fire.
![Image](https://lifevsfilm.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/firefighters.jpg?w=584&h=292)
but there is no stopping the power of a massive political thread gone wild.
![Image](https://thebestpictureproject.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/toweringinferno4.jpg)
Scene: Another group of BBs, including LB and Flock, try to escape down the FNGD forum elevators.
Unfortunately, it’s never smart to take an elevator during a fire.
![Image](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WZCexqFHwBQ/VobDKdgn9zI/AAAAAAAAqeI/ZquoLcWgNI4/s1600/The%2BTowering%2BInferno%2B04.jpg)
![Image](https://bigdamnspider.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/toweringinferno_elevator.jpg)
Scene: Beebs and others head for the stairs, but an explosion rips the stairway apart.
![Image](http://www.thetoweringinferno.info/pics/stairs.gif)
TBone tries to save Beebs, but, sadly, she is permanently logged out.
TBone: Sorry Beebs!
(Director’s note: Kudos to Beebs for her marvelous death scenes in both crappy disaster promos!)
Scene: The carnage continues as BBs attempt to flee the Bored any means possible.
![Image](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mr7oqgTEVw4/UNYPHPDdEjI/AAAAAAAAZyE/4RxPP10BzrA/s400/The+Towering+Inferno+10.jpg)
![Image](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cr-DzFkM3HA/UNYPGJe2wKI/AAAAAAAAZx0/zHKIObdaYMM/s400/The+Towering+Inferno+8.jpg)
![Image](https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/6486520_f520.jpg)
![Image](https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/6486521_f260.jpg)
![Image](http://www.rellimzone.com/images/movies/the-towering-inferno-1974-10.jpg)
Scene: A group of BBs make it to the Suggestion Box forum…
![Image](http://www.dvdtimes.co.uk/protectedimage.php?image=EamonnMcCusker/Inferno03.jpg)
![Image](https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/6486841_f520.jpg)
but that ends badly too. There is no escape!
Scene: BBs across the Bored come to the realization that they are trapped and will not get out.
![Image](https://joeartistwriter.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/astaire.jpg)
Jarnon: If I cover my ears will this crappy promo just go away?
![Image](http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/1784324/600full-the-towering-inferno-screenshot.jpg)
TBone (to agent): You’re fired!
Scene: BiT, TGirl and TBone discuss their options.
TGirl: We’re all going to be logged off and terminated, aren’t we?
BiT: You know, using Bored terminology at a time like this makes no sense.
![Image](http://derekwinnert.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/552.jpg)
TBone: Okay. How about this answer in plain English. We’re all fucked!
BiT: That’s better.
Scene: TBone and BiT have a plan.
![Image](http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTk2OTgyOTA0OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTc3MDU5NA@@._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg)
TBone: It's totally out of control and we’ve got about fifteen minutes. I want to try something.
I want to blow those water tanks in the post pinned to the top of the Bored Posts forum - I think it
might kill the fire.
![Image](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pBweDRrdB2g/Ta3OjrgFe6I/AAAAAAAAJ9Q/RQXrqO9o0L0/s1600/Steve-McQueen-and-Paul-Newman-Towering-Inferno.jpg)
BiT: You mean the Esto Spills His Guts: A Geocaching Mystery post? Wait. That doesn’t make any sense. We can’t just keep
throwing Bored terms around. It’s lazy writing.
![Image](https://unmadesf.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/steve-mcqueen-the-towering-inferno.gif)
TBone: Lier. We can do anything we want in a crappy promo. Now let’s get up there.
BiT (to agent): You’re fired!
Scene: TBone and BiT arrive in the Esto Spills His Guts post and head to the water tanks.
![Image](http://galeon.com/traditionalfx1/Towering04.jpg)
They set the explosives and return to the Promenade Forum with the other survivors.
![Image](https://cdn.moviestillsdb.com/i/500x/o0li6x4d/the-towering-inferno-lg.jpg)
Scene: BBs prepare themselves for the aftermath of Esto spilling his guts, I mean, water, on the top of the forum.
TBone tells everyone to secure themselves.
Jarnon straps in…
BiT confesses…
BiT: God, please know that I don’t want to destroy The Bored. Give me a break on this one.
SSS quickly runs in (sorry folks, he didn’t die in the fire…maybe next time).
![Image](https://joeartistwriter.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/pd5658097the-towering-inferno-5958.jpg)
Scene: The tanks explode, sending water everywhere and destroying every forum, subforum, post and PM.
![Image](https://l7.alamy.com/zooms/26b22a1edfda427692c03bc4e34a0c26/towering-inferno-1974-paul-newman-twif-005foh-bkbrab.jpg)
Some were not so lucky (hey, TBone told you to strap in):
![Image](http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/images/reviews/133/1146238613.jpg)
Epilogue: The Bored is completely ruined, but some BBs survived.
Jarnon and SSS (and even Dumbelina the cat)
Scene: BiT, TBone and TGirl have a final discussion.
![Image](http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxa3yktFwV1qearaqo1_1280.jpg)
BiT: I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson, today.
TGirl: Yeah. You can’t just take any movie and make it into a crappy promo!
TBone: True, but more importantly: Even though it’s a burned-out, water-logged
shell of its former itself, The Bored will go on.
Lyrically Speaking
Winter Extravaganza
Returns January 7th
Hosted by (the late?) LB
Here on Our Bored
And nowhere else