Burt Flemm
Joliet, IL
Burt used to be a sportswriter. Now he drinks to excess.
$500
Which of these characters is shaped like a potato?
A: Pudd'nhead Wilson B: A Your mom
C: Mr Potatohead D: That guy over there
Spoiler
Burt thinks about it for a half hour (edited out) and guesses correctly C: Mr. Potatohead.
$1,000
What's your name, fool?
A: Kenny B: Mud
C: Reek D: Burt
Spoiler
Burt guesses D: Burt.
$2,000
Who invented the philosophy of Sub-Mediocrity?
A: Alex Trebek B: Dr. Joseph Q. Mays III
C: Pookie the Wonder Possum D: You
Spoiler
This is one Burt knows all too well. B: Joe Mays
$3,000
If you answer this question correctly, what will your prize be?
A: $3000 B: A NEW CAR!
C: Your mom D: Your parking validated
Burt admits he wasn't paying much attention, as he was trying to get a poppy seed out from between his teeth. So he asks the audience
Spoiler
A: 50% B:-3% C: 0 D:43% Undecided 11% Couldn't care less 29%
He wants a car, but he trusts the audience.
Spoiler
Burt goes with A, $3000.
$5,000
According to our writers, what are the chances you will answer the next question correctly?
A: 1 in 10 B: Not on your life
C: 50-50 D: Your Mom
Spoiler
Burt farts, makes some unintelligible comments and threatens the host. He say he supposes it's B. Correct Answer
$7,000
Which of these celebrities has the slightest idea of what they're talking about when they are not on script?
A: Ghandi B: Daffy Duck
C: Honey Boo Boo D: Pick D and you'll be right
Spoiler
Burt picks A. The host calls for the judge's ruling. Because answer "D" was the correct answer, Burt got this question wrong. However, if he had picked D, he would have been right on this question, but wrong on the previous question, in which case, he would never have had to answer this question. So the judges, seeking to avoid a lawsuit, rule that A could be the correct answer, since Ghandi did know what he was talking about and he was formerly a celebrity.
$10,000
We're not giving you $10,000. So this is not multiple choice. Write an essay on how to solve the North Korea problem.
Spoiler
Burt throws up. He utters several profanities under his breath and walks off the stage. Total Winnings: His parking was validated
