Looking for advice

Message

kayrharris · #1 Post by **kayrharris** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 8:54 pm

My oldest daughter just called with some disturbing information. Her sixteen year old daughter just told them she is bulimic. She's certainly not and never has been overweight, but she has admitted she has this problem.

Is this something her pediatric/adolescent doctor she's been seeing her whole life will be able to deal with, or should we start looking at strictly treating her with a counselor of some sort? I'm just feeling people out in case anyone here has had to face this.

Natalie, my youngest, wasn't bulimic, but she did more or less stop eating for a period of time about 4 years ago. We noticed she was losing weight and when she was at the table with us, she just pushed her food around, making it appear she was eating when she really hadn't eaten at all. Natalie was not a teenager, she was 23 at the time. She got very mad at us when we confronted her about it, but did finally agree she needed help.

She ended up with a psychiatrist who put her on Effexor I think and had weekly sessions with her and within six months, she was pretty much back to normal.

Thanks in advance! I'm open to anything right now.

silvercamaro · #2 Post by **silvercamaro** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:28 pm

Kay, I don't have the answer to your question, but I do think it sounds like a very positive sign that your granddaughter has 'fessed up. From what I've heard, overcoming denial about the problem is the hardest part. I don't know how long she's been dealing with this, but hopefully, she is young enough that she hasn't yet done any permanent harm to her long-term health. I offer her my best wishes (and they extend to your entire family.)

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #3 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:30 pm

I am sorry that you are dealing with this.

I think that bulimia is becoming more and more common and because of this fact, pediatricians are dealing with it in their practice. I think that your daughter should talk to her granddaughter's pediatrician and ask for recommendations about how to deal with the problem.

Good luck!

Ritterskoop · #4 Post by **Ritterskoop** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:13 pm

Both a physician doctor (but not necessarily a pediatrician) and a counselor will be helpful, especially if they talk to each other.

This is not a problem to be embarrassed about, but just one to solve. I have some reading material that may help her or her family, if you get to that point.

mrkelley23 · #5 Post by **mrkelley23** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:49 am

I haven't dealt with eating disorders on a personal level (yet -- I'm starting to worry about my teenage son!) but I am used to seeing it at the high school where I teach.

Starting with the pediatrician is a good idea, but be watchful. My unscientific opinion is that a doctor you've been with your whole life is less likely to take some things as seriously as they could be. And if bulimia is anything like alcoholism, if you think you have a problem, you have a problem.

Good luck -- you know you have sympathetic ears here.

peacock2121 · #6 Post by **peacock2121** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:28 am

I don't know enough about your granddaughter or her family to give advice that would be designed for her. I can tell you what I would do if Pealette came to me and told me her daughter had 'confessed' to having the problem and asked for help.

I would find a doctor who specializes in dealing with teenage eating disorders. I would not be concerned with how far they are from where Pealette lived, I would not be concerened about how much it costs or if insurance covered it. I would not be concerned about where I would find the time to manage all of it. It would be my number one priority.

I do know enough to know this is not a food issue. It is a control issue. She can't 'get better' by just stopping the throwing up. It is deeper than that.

It is awesome that your granddaughter came forward on her own, without having to be confronted. This is a very good sign.

Also - it says much that your daughter came to you. It demonstrates a strong family support structure.

dimmzy · #7 Post by **dimmzy** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:53 am

Since I've been reading Eckhardt Tolle's The Power of Now and A New Earth, I'm wondering if the search for the answer for eating disorders could start with asking these girls how their physical bodies SUPPORT their spirits and asking why their spirits are in such pain ...

Eating disorders may just be cries for help from troubled spirits. Once you treat the spirit and help people understand how their body can NOURISH the spirit, it may be easier to convince people to eat healthier.

--dimmzy, who may be philosophizing too early in the morning

MarleysGh0st · #8 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:36 am

I've no advice to add to the thread, Kay, just support.

marrymeflyfree · #9 Post by **marrymeflyfree** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:03 am

I'm sorry to hear that she's having some problems - but huge kudos to her for recognizing the problem and admitting it to her parents. I'm no expert, but I think the fact that she felt comfortable enough to tell them is a very good thing. So huge kudos to your daughter and son-in-law for being good parents, too.

I would hope that her pediatrician is able to recommend a good specialist.

christie1111 · #10 Post by **christie1111** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:06 am

I agree with the consensus, a specialist would be best.

Good Luck!