The 2016 Merry Man Parade Starts Now!

[Bored Sweeper]

Betcha I was the last one you expected to be leading off the parade, wasn't I?

Anyway, it's time to start the 16th annual or whatever parade, sponsored by somesuch company and whatsitsname Inc. Please do not litter or shit in the streets, as I do not intend on coming around again....

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[Chronic Diarrhea]

Please do not litter or shit in the streets, as I do not intend on coming around again....

Ummmmmm..... negatory on that last part, dude. In fact.... uhhhh.... you might want to trade in that broom for a squeegee.....

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

[NatteringNabobOfNegativity]

Dammit, why can't this sorry excuse for handing out a street permit happen AFTER the tryptophan sets in....

[Scott Norwood]

I heard it was a bad weekend for NFL kickers. I just wanted to come by and say that I had nothing to do with it!

Oh, and I wanted to feel what it was like to get to march in a parade.....

[Donair King]

Anyone here interested in moving to Canada? The trailer next to mine is for rent now that my fucktard neighbor has disappeared under... "mysterious circumstances", eh?

[O'Bummer]

Cruisin' by one last time to wave to my constituents!

Hmmmm.... if I piss off the side of the float and get arrested for it, could I pardon myself? Only one way to find out....

[Mark John Boy]

Dude! Does Kiki come by this joint anymore? I was gonna give her back the thong I borrowed for my hot date last week...

[Jocelyn Elders]

I just love to see a bored man playing with himself....

[Four Hour Stiffy]

Anyone seen a girl named Mike? I need her to open up for me....

[Robert Preston]

Well either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a merryman parade in your community.


Well, you got trouble my friend. Right here, I say, trouble right here on the WWTBAM Bored. Why sure I'm a marching person, certainly mighty proud to say, I'm always mighty proud to say it. I consider that the hours I spend in parades are golden. I say that now any boob can log in and join the parade. And I call that sloth, the first big step on the road to the depths of degradation- I say first, text message on a cell phone, then posts on a message board. And the next thing you know your child is a merryman. Make your blood boil? Well, I should say.




Now friends, let me tell you what I mean. Ya may have one, two, three, four, five, six merrymen in the parade. For some it’s hard to tell the difference between a gentleman and a bum with a capital B and that rhymes with P and that stands for parade.


And all week long your WWTBAM Bored youth will be fritterin' away, I say your young men will be fritterin’. Fritterin’ away their noon time, sleep time, chore time too. Get in the parade, never mind getting the lyrics made or the Tangredi solved and that's trouble. Yes you got lots and lots of trouble.

I'm thinking of the merrymen, heading to parade right now. You got trouble, Folks! Right here on the WWTBAM Bored. Trouble with a Capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for parade.





Now I know all you BBs are the right kind of parents. I'm going to be perfectly frank. Would you like to know who they’re talking to while their parading? They’re talking to a Hooligan, a hooligan I say, and merrymen with names like Scott Norwood and Pat Summerall, too.

Trouble!

And Chronic Diarrhea and Beast and Bored Sweeper, and two Rod Serlings who will drive your son, your daughter to the arms of the jungle, animal instinct, mass 'steria. Friends the parade is the devil’s playground.

Trouble!

Mothers and fathers of the WWTBAM Bored. Heed that warning before it's too late! Watch for the telltale signs of a parade. The minute your son leaves the house, does he switch his avatar? Is there a callus on his typing finger? Staying up ‘til odd hours of the night? Is he loggin in over and over?

If so my friends. . .ya got trouble!

Trouble with a Capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for parade.

[Gimme A Squiggly]

I sure hope we get a bigger crowd that this tomorrow, or someone might be getting a pink slip for a holiday bonus...

[Zager and Evans]

In the year 2525

if man is still alive

if woman can survive

they may find...

this stupid parade is still going on.

[KilljoyWasHere]

Well either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a merryman parade in your community.


Well, you got trouble my friend. Right here, I say, trouble right here on the WWTBAM Bored. Why sure I'm a marching person, certainly mighty proud to say, I'm always mighty proud to say it. I consider that the hours I spend in parades are golden. I say that now any boob can log in and join the parade. And I call that sloth, the first big step on the road to the depths of degradation- I say first, text message on a cell phone, then posts on a message board. And the next thing you know your child is a merryman. Make your blood boil? Well, I should say.




Now friends, let me tell you what I mean. Ya may have one, two, three, four, five, six merrymen in the parade. For some it’s hard to tell the difference between a gentleman and a bum with a capital B and that rhymes with P and that stands for parade.


And all week long your WWTBAM Bored youth will be fritterin' away, I say your young men will be fritterin’. Fritterin’ away their noon time, sleep time, chore time too. Get in the parade, never mind getting the lyrics made or the Tangredi solved and that's trouble. Yes you got lots and lots of trouble.

I'm thinking of the merrymen, heading to parade right now. You got trouble, Folks! Right here on the WWTBAM Bored. Trouble with a Capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for parade.





Now I know all you BBs are the right kind of parents. I'm going to be perfectly frank. Would you like to know who they’re talking to while their parading? They’re talking to a Hooligan, a hooligan I say, and merrymen with names like Scott Norwood and Pat Summerall, too.

Trouble!

And Chronic Diarrhea and Beast and Bored Sweeper, and two Rod Serlings who will drive your son, your daughter to the arms of the jungle, animal instinct, mass 'steria. Friends the parade is the devil’s playground.

Trouble!

Mothers and fathers of the WWTBAM Bored. Heed that warning before it's too late! Watch for the telltale signs of a parade. The minute your son leaves the house, does he switch his avatar? Is there a callus on his typing finger? Staying up ‘til odd hours of the night? Is he loggin in over and over?

If so my friends. . .ya got trouble!

Trouble with a Capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for parade.

Wanna help me swing this boat oar on a few of those hooligans?

[Master Po]

Your tread must be light and sure

as though your path were upon rice paper.

It is said merrymen can walk through walls.

Looked for...they can not be seen.

Listened for...they can not be heard.

Touched...can not be felt.

This parade, like rice paper, is the test.

Fragile as the wings of the dragon fly, clinging as the cocoon of the silk worm.

When you can be in it and leave no trace,

You will have learned:

absolutely nothing.

[Jefferson Starplane]

We're only here to voice our displeasure at not being included in the Boney 500!

And to see if anyone needs to book a band for a gig.... we'll play weddings, bar mitvahs, backyard cookouts......

[Dominick the Donkey]

I sure wish I could join y'all, but they send me to Kalamazoo every November....

[Dizzy Miss Lizzie]

Hey, look! Forty merrymen. Good thing I brought my ax.

[TheMichiganBarAssociation]

Hey, look! Forty merrymen. Good thing I brought my ax.

Good thing I brought a bunch of business cards! The estate business is about to get booming...

[Juan Antonio Samaranch]

I must say, those Olympics in Brazil were pretty bad. But not as bad as the ones in Atlanta. I think I would rate Rio the 2nd worst Olympics in history.
I must say, I am honored to have been asked to be in this parade. I don't get asked to do very much anymore. Thanks for the invite. I get to wave to my fans as I go by. Such fun.
I must say, I like the big balloons. They remind me of the days when I was relevant. I don't know why.
I must say, Live from New York it's Saturday Night. I always wanted to say that. Do I really have to walk in this parade? Why don't I get a car or a float or something?
Happy Thanksgiving. I'm hungry.

[Liberace]

I must say, those Olympics in Brazil were pretty bad. But not as bad as the ones in Atlanta. I think I would rate Rio the 2nd worst Olympics in history.
I must say, I am honored to have been asked to be in this parade. I don't get asked to do very much anymore. Thanks for the invite. I get to wave to my fans as I go by. Such fun.
I must say, I like the big balloons. They remind me of the days when I was relevant. I don't know why.
I must say, Live from New York it's Saturday Night. I always wanted to say that. Do I really have to walk in this parade? Why don't I get a car or a float or something?
Happy Thanksgiving. I'm hungry.

Aren't you going to ask me for my jacket? I'll even let you take it off of me yourself!

[CharleyWeaverToBlock]

What everyone needs right now is


monkey fazoo!

[Juan Antonio Samaranch]

I must say, those Olympics in Brazil were pretty bad. But not as bad as the ones in Atlanta. I think I would rate Rio the 2nd worst Olympics in history.
I must say, I am honored to have been asked to be in this parade. I don't get asked to do very much anymore. Thanks for the invite. I get to wave to my fans as I go by. Such fun.
I must say, I like the big balloons. They remind me of the days when I was relevant. I don't know why.
I must say, Live from New York it's Saturday Night. I always wanted to say that. Do I really have to walk in this parade? Why don't I get a car or a float or something?
Happy Thanksgiving. I'm hungry.

Aren't you going to ask me for my jacket? I'll even let you take it off of me yourself!

I must say, they don't let me wear anything with buttons anymore. I tend to eat them. I don't know why.
I like pie.

[MinisterOfPropaganda]

As Minister of Propaganda, I am proud to be carrying the flag in this year's parade. Please stand up and salute, or risk having all of your restaurant coupons permanently revoked...

[Bo Donaldson]

Since the Boneys are down to the final 50ish songs, our very own Billy, Don't Be A Hero is certain to make an appearance.

We're awesome and we're from the 70s.

[Grandpa Beast]

Since the Boneys are down to the final 50ish songs, our very own Billy, Don't Be A Hero is certain to make an appearance.

We're awesome and we're from the 70s.

The 70's? What do you young whippersnappers know about the 70's!?!? I guaran-darn-tee you President Hayes wouldn't have thought much of that garbage you call music either! Why, he'd have sent y'all and Billy out West to fight against Sitting Bull... not that it woulda helped General Custer any, you lazy no good little delinquents!