Fire up the toaster!

[Bob78164]

Minnesota has now lost 87 games so the Twins cannot win more than 75 games this season. Cleveland has already won 79 games so the Twins cannot win the American League Central Division. Toronto has won 77 games and Boston has won 76 games so at least two teams in the American League Eastern Division will finish ahead of Minnesota. Baltimore and Detroit both have won 74 games and they have three games remaining against each other, so at least one of the Orioles or the Tigers also will finish ahead of the Twins.

It's not a double play but it is a Twin killing. Minnesota has been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

The Mets' last game ever at Turner Field was Atlanta's 88th loss of the season so the Braves cannot win more than 74 games. Washington has already won 85 games so Atlanta cannot win the National League Eastern Division. The Mets have won 76 games so the Braves cannot possibly finish better than third in the division. The Dodgers and the Giants each have won at least 77 games so Atlanta will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Central Division.

The Braves' season has reached its terminus. Atlanta has been toastified. --Bob

[littlebeast13]

The Mets' last game ever at Turner Field was Atlanta's 88th loss of the season so the Braves cannot win more than 74 games. Washington has already won 85 games so Atlanta cannot win the National League Eastern Division. The Mets have won 76 games so the Braves cannot possibly finish better than third in the division. The Dodgers and the Giants each have won at least 77 games so Atlanta will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Central Division.

The Braves' season has reached its terminus. Atlanta has been toastified. --Bob

Next year, the oldest ballpark in the NL East will be the ancient Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia (est. 2004). Every other division in MLB has at least one stadium that's forty or older. This sure isn't John Rocker's NL East stadium tour....

lb13

[Bob78164]

The Mets' last game ever at Turner Field was Atlanta's 88th loss of the season so the Braves cannot win more than 74 games. Washington has already won 85 games so Atlanta cannot win the National League Eastern Division. The Mets have won 76 games so the Braves cannot possibly finish better than third in the division. The Dodgers and the Giants each have won at least 77 games so Atlanta will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Central Division.

The Braves' season has reached its terminus. Atlanta has been toastified. --Bob

Next year, the oldest ballpark in the NL East will be the ancient Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia (est. 2004). Every other division in MLB has at least one stadium that's forty or older. This sure isn't John Rocker's NL East stadium tour....

lb13

Someone astonished me a few days ago by pointing out that the third oldest stadium in the National League is

Spoiler

Coors Field

. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Tampa Bay has lost 83 games so far this season so the Rays cannot win more than 79. Boston has already won 81 games so Tampa Bay cannot win the American League Eastern Division. Baltimore and Toronto both have won 79 games and they have three games remaining against each other, so at least one of those teams will win at least 80 games.

The Yankees' win tonight over the Dodgers was New York's 77th win of the season. New York has 4 games remaining against the Blue Jays and 3 games remaining against the Orioles. Even if Baltimore sweeps Toronto, at least one of the Yankees and the Blue Jays will win at least 80 games. Even if Toronto sweeps Baltimore, at least one of the Yankees and the Orioles will win at least 80 games. In short, at least two of the Orioles, Blue Jays, and Yankees will win at least 80 games, so Tampa Bay will finish behind at least three teams in the American League East.

The water was too deep for this year's version of the Rays. Tampa Bay has been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the Chicago Cubs on being the first MLB team to clinch a post-season berth in 2016. (St. Louis and San Francisco have four games remaining against each other, so at least one of them will necessarily finish behind the Cubs.) --Bob

[Vandal]

Different sport, but I'm pretty sure the Cleveland Browns have already been eliminated from the postseason.

[T_Bone0806]

Different sport, but I'm pretty sure the Cleveland Browns have already been eliminated from the postseason.

The Bills were toastified before they walked into the locker room on Sunday...

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the National League Central Division champion Chicago Cubs. --Bob

[Bob78164]

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have lost their 83rd game of the season so they cannot win more than 79 games. Texas has already won 87 games so the Angels cannot win the American League Western Division. Boston, Baltimore, and Toronto all have won at least 80 games so the Angels will finish behind at least three teams in the American League Eastern Division.

I hear harp music playing. The Angels have been toastified. --Bob

[Pastor Fireball]

Congratulations to the National League Central Division champion Chicago Cubs. --Bob

Could this actually be the year?

Or, just like each of the past 100+ years, will it once again end in futility?

[BackInTex]

Congratulations to the National League Central Division champion Chicago Cubs. --Bob

Could this actually be the year?

Or, just like each of the past 100+ years, will it once again end in futility?

Sales are up!

[littlebeast13]

Congratulations to the National League Central Division champion Chicago Cubs. --Bob

Could this actually be the year?

Or, just like each of the past 100+ years, will it once again end in futility?

Sales are up!

It would be a shame if the Cubs won it all because no team's fanbase has ever embraced more lame excuses as to its continued futility than the Baby Bears have...

lb13

[Pastor Fireball]

Could this actually be the year?

Or, just like each of the past 100+ years, will it once again end in futility?

Sales are up!

It would be a shame if the Cubs won it all because no team's fanbase has ever embraced more lame excuses as to its continued futility than the Baby Bears have...

lb13

ne1410s hasn't seen any goats around lately, has he?

[Bob78164]

Oakland's loss tonight was the Athletics' 83rd loss of the season so they cannot win more than 79 games. Texas has won 88 games so Oakland cannot win the American League Western Division. Boston, Baltimore, and Toronto all have won at least 80 games so Oakland will finish behind at least three teams in the American League Eastern Division.

No A for Oakland's season this year. The Athletics have been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

San Diego's come-from-ahead defeat today was the Padres' 85th loss of the season so San Diego cannot win more than 77 games. The Dodgers have won 82 games so San Diego cannot win the National League Western Division. The Giants have won 78 games so the Padres will finish no better than third in the division. Washington and the Mets both have won at least 78 games so San Diego also will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Eastern Division.

San Diego's prayers were not answered this year. The Padres have been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Arizona's loss tonight was the Diamondbacks' 85th loss of the season so they cannot win more than 77 games. The Dodgers have won 83 games so Arizona cannot win the National League Western Division. The Giants have won 79 games so the Diamondbacks cannot finish better than third in the division. Washington and the Mets both have won at least 78 games so Arizona will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Eastern Division.

It's another year in the desert for the Diamondbacks. Arizona has been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Cincinnati's loss was the Reds' 85th loss of the season so they cannot win more than 77 games. Chicago has won 93 games so the Reds cannot win the National League Central Division. Washington and the Mets each have won at least 78 games so Cincinnati will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Eastern Division. The Dodgers and the Giants each have won at least 79 games so Cincinnati also will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Western Division.

Eyes are red in the Queen City tonight. The Reds have been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Philadelphia has lost 83 games so it cannot win more than 79 games. Milwaukee has lost 83 games so the Brewers cannot win more than 79 games. Washington has won 88 games so the Phillies cannot win the National League Eastern Division. The Cubs have won 96 games so Milwaukee cannot win the National League Central Division. The Mets have won 80 games so both Philadelphia and Milwaukee will finish behind at least two teams in the National League East. The Cardinals' win tonight was St. Louis's 80th win, so Philadelphia and Milwaukee each will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Central.

It's time for Milwaukee fans to drown their sorrows. The Brewers have been toastified. Further east, justice has prevailed. The Phillies have been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

The White Sox lost tonight for the 81st time this season so Chicago cannot win more than 81 games. Cleveland has won 90 games so Chicago cannot win the American League Central Division. Boston, Toronto, and Baltimore all have won at least 83 games so the White Sox will finish behind at least three teams in the American League Eastern Division.

Chicago's season has officially gone south. The White Sox have been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the American League Western Division champion Texas Rangers. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the National League Eastern Division champion Washington Nationals. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Colorado has lost 82 games this season so the Rockies cannot win more than 80. The Dodgers and the Giants both have won at least 82 games so Colorado cannot win the National League Western Division and they will finish behind at least two teams in that division. Washington and the Mets have both won at least 82 games to the Rockies also will finish behind at least two teams in the National League Eastern Division.

No Rocky Mountain high this year. Colorado has been toastified. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox, who have clinched a playoff berth. --Bob

[Bob78164]

Congratulations to the National League Western Division champion Los Angeles Dodgers. --Bob