Wedding Blog: BD**2 - 138

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gsabc · #1 Post by **gsabc** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:56 am

Not feeling too great today, which means that my thoughts tend to be somewhat down as well. I suppose that most parents view their child's upcoming wedding and subsequent departure from the household with some trepidation for that child's future. The future for BD and FSIL is in more turmoil than many.

Who knows if or when FSIL will be redeployed? As far as I'm concerned, the "assurance" that it won't happen this year is none too reassuring.

How will BD handle the lifestyle change? Housing, friendships, and income levels will be three major shifts, never mind the necessary adjustments to the new favorite person in her life.

What will the pressures on FSIL be like when re-enlistment time approaches? He has told us that he won't do it, but if there's still a shooting war going on, TPTB will be offering some major incentives to retain trained personnel (and possible unofficial and semi-nasty disincentives to leave).

Will this wedding manage to take place? GW worries that FSIL won't be able to get the necessary leave time, after the fiasco of a few weeks back. I worry about the frequent (to me, anyway) lapses in communication with BD. His upcoming trip to NC concerns me in certain ways, as does his seeming inability to come here to visit and to do some wedding work with us.

BD is my baby and my daughter, and I worry. I'm a believer in things working out for the best, but I still worry about the trip to reach that elusive "best", and just how good that "best" will actually be.

christie1111 · #2 Post by **christie1111** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:04 pm

I feel that you need a little analysis by PeaBabe on this one.

I will try a christie approach instead.

How much of this is actually in your control? Is worrying about it helping you work through any of the possibilities or just bringing you down? Don't let the mental/emotional stuff cause you to have health issues.

Many of the decisions BD ans FSIL have to make, only they can make. It is up to them to make the 'right' choice for them. Even if it means they make the 'wrong' ones.

Hugs to you and I hope you feel better and more optimistic tomorrow.

MarleysGh0st · #3 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:11 pm

Who posted that quote a little while ago, something like "Of course, worrying is useful. None of the things you worry about ever happen!"? Yeah, that's what I wish for you. Even if there's room for doubt.

I think a lot of FSIL's unresponsiveness to the wedding issues is basic guy stuff: all this event planning doesn't register on his radar screen as an "important" matter. Just tell him when to show up, right? But I'd feel better if your blog entries indicated they were spending a tenth as much time working on their future lives together as you all are on that event that will be all over 139 days from now.

How does the military "Stop-Loss" program work? Does that only affect officers or can enlisted men be forced into re-enlisting if they are considered to be in key positions?

peacock2121 · #4 Post by **peacock2121** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:06 am

christie1111 wrote:I feel that you need a little analysis by PeaBabe on this one.

.

You and marley said everything I would have said.

great job!

okay, I have one thing to add. Sometimes I worry instead of confront how sad/frighteded I am that my life is about to change in a big way. Worrying is easier and more comfortable. It might be valuable to see how much of your worry is covering up sadness and fear.

If you are sad, be sad. If you are afraid, be afraid.