Things bosses have actually said

[Bob Juch]

You are going to take 12 weeks off to 'bond with your baby?' I don’t think so.

We know that communication is a problem, but it is not going to be something we discuss with the employees.

This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.

We should fire her. She’s been in the hospital for four days. How can she get any work done when she’s in the hospital?

When I hear your accent, I start deducting IQ points.

I don't have time for people issues, I've got more important work to do.

Why should I reward you for just doing your job. That's why you get paid.

What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.

Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.

Don't you think you should wait until you know whether he is actually going to die before you take time out of the office?

[elwoodblues]

I long ago gave up on trying to figure out how some people become the boss. I have already ruled out job performance, people skills, intelligence, etc.

[gsabc]

I long ago gave up on trying to figure out how some people become the boss. I have already ruled out job performance, people skills, intelligence, etc.

Knowing what to kiss, when and how often.

[Linus's Boss]

Get back to work!

[SpacemanSpiff]

I'll add one from a boss that I still shudder from, 25 years later:

"I don't have heart attacks, I give them."

(This is from a boss who made me fire a subordinate three weeks after his teen daughter committed suicide. His retort to me was "if that hadn't happened, he'd been fired two weeks ago." Not exactly a friendly soul.)

[Bob Juch]

I'll add one from a boss that I still shudder from, 25 years later:

"I don't have heart attacks, I give them."

(This is from a boss who made me fire a subordinate three weeks after his teen daughter committed suicide. His retort to me was "if that hadn't happened, he'd been fired two weeks ago." Not exactly a friendly soul.)

I had a boss have me fire a guy who was constantly late for our 7 AM daily company meeting. The reason he would be late was bad Los Angeles traffic. He was a single father and couldn't drop his daughter off at daycare before 6:30. I had warned him that he needed to find another place but he claimed that the one he used was the only one that opened that early. There was no real need for the meetings every morning; he just wanted to see the faces of his minions.

[Jeemie]

Why should I reward you for just doing your job. That's why you get paid.

Everything else that was said was pretty dumb.

Not this...this is true.

Why SHOULD you get rewarded for just doing your job?