Lyrically Speaking - 2/14/14

[Jessie]

Spoiler

For this week's Free For All Friday, I'd like to bring something different to the LSWE table... namely, the fine and (ahem) hilarious parodies I used to write for this Bored back in the day when I ruled Fridays. Below are 30 lyrical snippets from some of my finest work I have posted on the Bored since 2001. You don't need to come up with the altered title, nor do you get 30 free points by naming me as all of the artists. Instead, name the title and artist of the song that is being parodied. There are a few songs in this game that have appeared already (or will appear later on) in the LSWE, and I apologize for that since this game was a last minute addition. But still, have fun figuring out the songs these lyrics were riffed from...

1 point for the title, 1 point for the artist...


1. You backed off from the TV
Like you were suffering from heartburn
Your hand strategically placed over your throat
Your stomach was on full churn
You had your head over the commode
As you asked "When will they learn?"
You’re So Vain – Carly Simon

2. Ain't going out tonight
I ain't feelin' alright
Hemmorhoids are hangin' out
Turn down the noise
You damn teenage boys
Don't make me scream and shout!
Itching & Swelling - The Piles

3. Well our fathers fought the second round war
To earn a weekend on the New York shore
They met Regis down at ABC
Didn't ask them to dance, or sing on TV
We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel

4. That little smartass with the blue shirt and the bow tie
He's lucky, that don't seem fair
That little smartass knew about Lesotho
That little smartass he's a millionaire
Money For Nothing – Dire Straits

5. When I found the Bored
And my family
I was 0 for twenty-three
In the company of BB's
In the quiet of the callback window
Playing games
Posting Q's
Stengthening my poorer areas
With the tidbits I found here
Waiting for the chance
Knowing I'd appear
The Boxer – Simon and Garfunkel

Because I know how much you love them...



6. Who's that lingerin' in the lobby?
A horde of MAWG's, they're not happy
Dress shirts, slacks, and a tint of gray
"Come out Sonny!", here them say
Hot Legs - Rod Stewart

7. A younger version of me
Is she retentive like me?
Does she know Lincoln was shot in a theater?
Does she babble endlessly
And met a celebrity?
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent walker
In My Wheelhouse - The Armchair Quarterbacks

8. Crickets in the RoF, where did Regis go?
Four hundred New York actors on what used to be my show
I tuned in like everyone did when Davies stormed this land
Four years ago I played R2 with my unsteady hand
We Didn't Start The Fire - Billy Joel

9. When me and my friends turn on the ol' show
We can't hold back and we can't speak low
We don't like to gripe, we try to be humble
But we moan all night doing...
You Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC

10. Soon the choir lead with a string of holy beads
Will perform Apostle's Creed, what a screed, what a screed
Next up in the chair, it's the poignant Thousandaire
You know he doesn't care, say a prayer if you dare
Just Like A Prayer - Madonna

11. In a craze, I will raise
A complaint about lyonnaise
Oh you beat me down
Yeah you beat me down
And I blew up in a blaze
It's a Temporary Thang - ?

12. I knew that Spokane was north of Pebble Beach
I knew "Lorenzo's Oil" came after "Wall Street"
And then I heard her say most recent, but my mind hit the rocks
Because I put the Coupe de Ville as being introduced before the Cracker Jack box
Seat #4 - The Fastest Finger

13. Your nights are free, but you're still home
Calling Fred up on the phone
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Another Q is all it takes
Addicted to Love – Robert Palmer

14. Yeah he's so cool, relaxed
He's hip, ain't a thing he lacks
Got onto Go, and wrote
The code that gave us our pristine Love Boat
We were merry
Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen

15. And he drew Hooly on the beach now
Sun is fun
A squirrel in the pool of an infant son
Kiki in a wine glass bringing in dough
Fanny on the Rockies
Go Spiel go!
Devil Went Down to Georgia – Charlie Daniel Band

16. She was old and her heart was black
And they say her name was Ann
She said "Listen fools
You better read the House Rules
Or there's more posts I will ban!"
Rocket Man - William Shatner

17. Please let's talk about Happy Days
How about Kramer's neurotic ways?
Will and Grace never bring me down
Nor does the death of Chuckles the Clown
I can watch them all, and when the night is through
I'll check out the ones, huh, that I TiVo'ed too
What a Wonderful World – Sam Cooke

18. So this guy Sonny, thinks he's funny
Asks if you'd squash a rodent for money
You just stand there with a big blank stare
And you know that won't get you anywhere
Jessie's Squirrel - Rick Scrithfeeled

19. Ooh, I bet you're wonderin' how I blew
That 8K Q everybody knew
A tough distractor put me in doubt
Between the two choices I couldn't pick it out
I Heard It Through the Grapevine – Marvin Gaye

20. I had a question, the phone game, in order east to west
Geneva, and Paris, Moscow and Budapest
I said 3-4-1-2, Fred said I failed this test
Back in the USSR – Beatles

21. It was five years ago they cashed in with a smash hit
Mike's invention turned obsession and with Regis they clicked
And they stocked their show with people from the phone game
Just average and boring, but man they were enjoying
American Pie - Don McLean

22. Show me to the recipe Bored in Go's scrapheap
Take me to the Phoenix Bored
The intrigue and suspicion are really getting deep
But we overcame this horde
Mutton Pot Pie - Julia Child

23. Well on the Love Boat website, you'll find me on a rainy night
Dishes are piling up, but I just don't have any time
Gotta keep posting
A gusgerbils looming, while my boss is fuming
He wants this project done, sorry sir I just ain't got the time
Gotta keep posting
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds - William Shatner

24. I got dreams, and I'll keep tryin'
Though I'm losing control
Cause the PC's you're supplyin'
They're indignifyin'!
You’re the One That I Want – Olivia Newton John and John Travolta

25. I make my living while the rest all snooze
Filling the cleaners that you like to use
Don't matter what brand you choose
Dirty Laundry – Don Henley (featuring Lurch on the harpsichord)


26. Who picks the passers, behind the closed doors?
Who writes the wrecking cards, for all of us bores?
You think you don't need us, cause we're the groupie fools
Looking for advantages, combing through your rules
What a Wonderful World – Sam Cooke

27. Where have all the lurkers gone and where is the night crew?
Where is the PJ party to carry the gus through?
Isn't wild bill around or maybe ScrabbleTed?
We're just a hundred posts away, I don't want to go to bed
28. There's Gary working out kinks
And Merry Men hijinx
Look at all the silly creatures on Naked Neighbor
Tests by takinover
Before the Bored changeover
Where Have All My Lovers Gone? - Taylor Swift

29. Get your bags together, and head over to EGroups
And get yourself included, after you go through all the hoops
Now come and join the Jipters, on the other side of the fence
Leave the Go Bored behind, and all of that nonsense
We Are Never Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift

30. Surpise, we're dropped off at the dire
And delapidated dump known as the Empire
Good lord, I'd like to think that when you
Play at this level they could find a better venue
Like Super 8, or Motel 6, or Budgetel, but not this place!



Kroxquo Bonus: For 5 points, name a song with artist and provide a lyrical snippet of a parody you would write from that song (The subject can be about anything, and please make these original! Be creative!)

In memory of one of the former stars of "Snake Salvation", Pastor Jamie Coots.

Just Got Bit - Jamie Coots (Just Got Paid - Nsync)

Thank God it's Friday night but I
just-just-just-just-juuuuuuust got BIT
(ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch...)
Ouch, ohh...

[CHORUS:]
Just got bit, Friday night
Folks a dancin', serpent struck
Hand's a swellin', Hard to breathe
Headin' home, I'll be fine.

[Jamie:]
Check the mirror, lookin' pale
Round up my kin folk, I'm fading fast
Head's a hurtin', venom's coursing
Fever's spiking, breathin's labored
Don't feel so good
Don't you know, I'm a reality show star
Pretty bright light, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh






WARNING: KIDS DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!



Mecca Bonus: Three of the songs above have appeared on the Mecca CD. Which numbers (6 possible points) 4, 5, 15

5 Point Bonus: The title of the folder I keep these parodies in over on our Yahoo Groups board is itself a parody of a Weird Al Yankovic album title. What is the name I gave to the folder? Gangsta's Plagiarize

[littlebeast13]

I had no idea how this game was going to play out. They're easy if you know what melody to insert, but short of that you pretty much have to pick up on the lyrical similarities. Some of my better players did poorly on this game, while some of my poorer players did well.... but overall, I'd say this game was a rousing success!


1. You backed off from the TV
Like you were suffering from heartburn
Your hand strategically placed over your throat
Your stomach was on full churn
You had your head over the commode
As you asked "When will they learn?"
You're So Vain - Carly Simon (Made into "Big Fat Brain", a tribute to MBFFB® I posted in the early days of this Bored...)

2. Ain't going out tonight
I ain't feelin' alright
Hemmorhoids are hangin' out
Turn down the noise
You damn teenage boys
Don't make me scream and shout!
I Feel Like a Woman - Shania Twain (Made into "I Feel Like a MAWG"...)

3. Well our fathers fought the second round war
To earn a weekend on the New York shore
They met Regis down at ABC
Didn't ask them to dance, or sing on TV
Allentown - Billy Joel (One of my very first parodies, inspired by the driveby poster Allentown7721 in April 2001 who complained about WWTBAM scrapping the phone game for the auditions...)

4. That little smartass with the blue shirt and the bow tie
He's lucky, that don't seem fair
That little smartass knew about Lesotho
That little smartass he's a millionaire
Money For Nothing - Dire Straits (Self explanatory...)

5. When I found the Bored
And my family
I was 0 for twenty-three
In the company of BB's
In the quiet of the callback window
Playing games
Posting Q's
Stengthening my poorer areas
With the tidbits I found here
Waiting for the chance
Knowing I'd appear
The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel (Made into "The Jipter", one of my last Flashback Fridays I posted back in 2005...)

6. Who's that lingerin' in the lobby?
A horde of MAWG's, they're not happy
Dress shirts, slacks, and a tint of gray
"Come out Sonny!", here them say
Zoot Suit Riot - Cherry Poppin Daddies (Made into "Blue Shirt Riot", from my 20 parody EP....er, album I posted all at one time on the Bored in June 2002...)

7. A younger version of me
Is she retentive like me?
Does she know Lincoln was shot in a theater?
Does she babble endlessly
And met a celebrity?
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent walker
You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette (Same title, turned into a song about the overall poorer quality of contestants in the early days of SyndieBAM...)

8. Crickets in the RoF, where did Regis go?
Four hundred New York actors on what used to be my show
I tuned in like everyone did when Davies stormed this land
Four years ago I played R2 with my unsteady hand
Rain on the Scarecrow - John Cougar Mellencamp (Turned into "Rain on the Game Show"... I don't think anyone got this one. One of my better liked parodies I wrote...)

9. When me and my friends turn on the ol' show
We can't hold back and we can't speak low
We don't like to gripe, we try to be humble
But we moan all night doing...
The Curly Shuffle - Jump N The Saddle (Turned into "The Marley Grumble", and of course, Marley had no idea what song I was riffing off of when I posted it...)

10. Soon the choir lead with a string of holy beads
Will perform Apostle's Creed, what a screed, what a screed
Next up in the chair, it's the poignant Thousandaire
You know he doesn't care, say a prayer if you dare
Karn Evil #9 - Emerson Lake & Palmer (Turned into "Bored Evil #9", an impromptu parody I came up with in the midst of one of our infamous political/religious threads in the early days of this Bored...)

11. In a craze, I will raise
A complaint about lyonnaise
Oh you beat me down
Yeah you beat me down
And I blew up in a blaze
Like A Virgin - Madonna (Turned into "Like a Newbie"...)

12. I knew that Spokane was north of Pebble Beach
I knew "Lorenzo's Oil" came after "Wall Street"
And then I heard her say most recent, but my mind hit the rocks
Because I put the Coupe de Ville as being introduced before the Cracker Jack box
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad - Meatloaf (Turned into "Two Out Of Three's Too Bad"... a tribute to the old phone game. My very furst Flashback Friday I posted, and still one of my very best parodies...)

13. Your nights are free, but you're still home
Calling Fred up on the phone
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Another Q is all it takes
Addicted To Love - Robert Palmer (Turned into "Addicted to BAM"...)

14. Yeah he's so cool, relaxed
He's hip, ain't a thing he lacks
Got onto Go, and wrote
The code that gave us our pristine Love Boat
We were merry
Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen (Turned into "Crazy Little Guy Named Love", a tribute to our Bored benefactor Gary Love...)

15. And he drew Hooly on the beach now
Sun is fun
A squirrel in the pool of an infant son
Kiki in a wine glass bringing in dough
Fanny on the Rockies
Go Spiel go!
The Devil Went Down To Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band (Turned into "Uly Went Down To The Bored" by the Uly Daniels Band for a Decades promo back in 2009...)

16. She was old and her heart was black
And they say her name was Ann
She said "Listen fools
You better read the House Rules
Or there's more posts I will ban!"
Der Kommissar - After the Fire (Turned into "Bored Monitor", a tribute to everyone's favorite Nazi ABC_Ann...)

17. Please let's talk about Happy Days
How about Kramer's neurotic ways?
Will and Grace never bring me down
Nor does the death of Chuckles the Clown
I can watch them all, and when the night is through
I'll check out the ones, huh, that I TiVo'ed too
I Love The Nightlife - Alicia Bridges (Turned into "I Want My PrimeTime", a parody I wrote for TBone's television game PrimeTime... and I picked this song since I knew how much he loved it!)

18. So this guy Sonny, thinks he's funny
Asks if you'd squash a rodent for money
You just stand there with a big blank stare
And you know that won't get you anywhere
Bust A Move - Young MC (Same title, turned into a parody about what to do at the auditions...)

19. Ooh, I bet you're wonderin' how I blew
That 8K Q everybody knew
A tough distractor put me in doubt
Between the two choices I couldn't pick it out
I Heard It Through the Grapevine - Marvin Gaye (And others, but Gaye's version is what I had in mind when I wrote this one... which became "I Burned Another Lifeline", a song about how to go down in flames in the Hot Seat...)

20. I had a question, the phone game, in order east to west
Geneva, and Paris, Moscow and Budapest
I said 3-4-1-2, Fred said I failed this test
Tempted - Squeeze (Turned into "Jipted", a song about BAM screwings...)

21. It was five years ago they cashed in with a smash hit
Mike's invention turned obsession and with Regis they clicked
And they stocked their show with people from the phone game
Just average and boring, but man they were enjoying
Walking on the Sun - Smash Mouth (Turned into "Walking At 4K", a parody that came to me as the song played on the radio while sitting in the bank parking lot waiting on my Dad, and it is my personal favorite of my entire collection. I still sing my parody over the words every time the song comes on....)

22. Show me to the recipe Bored in Go's scrapheap
Take me to the Phoenix Bored
The intrigue and suspicion are really getting deep
But we overcame this horde
Back in the USSR - Beatles (Turned into "Back in the PRoG", about our dealings with the Morlocks when they got the Go Bored shut down temporarily...)

23. Well on the Love Boat website, you'll find me on a rainy night
Dishes are piling up, but I just don't have any time
Gotta keep posting
A gusgerbils looming, while my boss is fuming
He wants this project done, sorry sir I just ain't got the time
Gotta keep posting
Driving My Life Away - Eddie Rabbitt (Turned into "Posting My Life Away" about how much the Bored was a timesuck for us BB's back in the day [think of what Facebook is to many people now...])

24. I got dreams, and I'll keep tryin'
Though I'm losing control
Cause the PC's you're supplyin'
They're indignifyin'!
You're The One That I Want - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John (Turned into "You're the One We Don't Want", a duet between Marley and _TPTB_. I posted this parody 2 days before Marley got his surprise happy card...)

25. I make my living while the rest all snooze
Filling the cleaners that you like to use
Don't matter what brand you choose
Dirty Laundry - Don Henley (A parody I wrote about my job... it's funny looking at all the products I put into it that we had on the shelves in 2003 that are now long gone....)

26. Who picks the passers, behind the closed doors?
Who writes the wrecking cards, for all of us bores?
You think you don't need us, cause we're the groupie fools
Looking for advantages, combing through your rules
We Built This City - Starship (Turned into "We Built This Series" about how TPTB ruined BAM, and inspired by this song being somehow named the worst song in rock & roll history [This parody was voted the Bored's #1 favorite when I held a poll in 2004...])

27. Where have all the lurkers gone and where is the night crew?
Where is the PJ party to carry the gus through?
Isn't wild bill around or maybe ScrabbleTed?
We're just a hundred posts away, I don't want to go to bed
Holding Out For A Hero - Bonnie Tyler (Turned into "Holding Out For A Zero" about the gusgerbils chases of old...)

28. There's Gary working out kinks
And Merry Men hijinx
Look at all the silly creatures on Naked Neighbor
Tests by takinover
Before the Bored changeover
Looking Out My Back Door - CCR (Turned into "Lurking on the Backboreds"... who here remembers the old ABC Bored "directories?" They were fun to play around on while they lasted...)

29. Get your bags together, and head over to EGroups
And get yourself included, after you go through all the hoops
Now come and join the Jipters, on the other side of the fence
Leave the Go Bored behind, and all of that nonsense
Peace Train - Cat Stevens (Turned into "Lease Train" about the move from Go to Yahoo [nee eGroups])

30. Surpise, we're dropped off at the dire
And delapidated dump known as the Empire
Good lord, I'd like to think that when you
Play at this level they could find a better venue
Like Super 8, or Motel 6, or Budgetel, but not this place!
One Night in Bangkok - Murray Head (Turned into "One Night at the Empire", about the $500 a night rat trap BAM contestants were holed up in during the first year and a half of the primetime days...)


Kroxquo Bonus: For 5 points, name a song with artist and provide a lyrical snippet of a parody you would write from that song (The subject can be about anything, and please make these original! Be creative!)

I loved these!!! Thanks to everyone who took the time to create one! Many of you got JJC points on top of the five Krox points for your entries...

Mecca Bonus: Three of the songs above have appeared on the Mecca CD. Which numbers (6 possible points)

#14 - Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Winter 2013 and Fall 2013 CD)
#20 - Tempted (Current CD)
#21 - Walking on the Sun (Summer CD... and yes, it was in the 90's Mecca Monday game!)

5 Point Bonus: The title of the folder I keep these parodies in over on our Yahoo Groups board is itself a parody of a Weird Al Yankovic album title. What is the name I gave to the folder?

Dare To Be Bored (I think there might have been one correct answer for this. If you have the "keys" to Phoenix, you should check it out sometime...)

[littlebeast13]

JJC Points:

frank gets a JJC point for Eugene, which cracked me up for some reason...

Vandal gets a JJC point for daring to bring up the name of she who does not want to be brought up in threads she is not a part of...

Weasel gets 2 JJC points for the same old song and for Seat Effing 9...

smiler gets 3 JJC points for Men Without Pants and Bob's Log...

Krox gets a JJC point for walking on coal mines...

Sprots gets 2 JJC points for dedicating a song to ES...

mntetn gets 2 JJC points for throwing it all against the wall, and for LB's Greatest Shit...

jarnon gets 3 JJC points in lieu of the Krox bonus for forgetting the artist....

Saucy gets 2 JJC points for picking on BiT...

elwood gets a fucking supermax for his wonderful tribute to the Evil Empire...

TBone almost lost his supermax because of Sprots, but I gave it to him anyway because his parody deserved it...

mrkelley gets 2 JJC points for bringing back Regis and Squirrel Hat...

Search gets 2 JJC points for a tribute to one of my laundry products...

BiT gets a JJC point for the parody of one of my least favorite classic rock songs...

melly gets 2 JJC points for the tribute to John Chaney...

Esto gets a JJC point for sucking up to ES...

Jessie gets 3 JJC points for Mumford & Sons, snakebites, and confusing N*sync with Johnny Kemp...


Points:

frank 39+1
vandal 41+1
Weasel 17+2
smiler 19+3
Marley 2
Krox 16+1
Sprots 15+2
mntetn 24+2
jarnon 1+3
Saucy 13+2
elwood 39+5
TBone 40+5
mrk 15+2
Panic 8
Search 34+2
BiT 15+1
Hottie 24
melly 25+2
plas 11
Bob 10
Esto 46+1
Jessie 24+3

[MarleysGh0st]

24. I got dreams, and I'll keep tryin'
Though I'm losing control
Cause the PC's you're supplyin'
They're indignifyin'!
You're The One That I Want - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John (Turned into "You're the One We Don't Want", a duet between Marley and _TPTB_. I posted this parody 2 days before Marley got his surprise happy card...)

Good thing this was the lyric I got!

But, of course, the smile on that happy card was fake.

[SportsFan68]

Sprots gets 2 JJC points for dedicating a song to ES...

I dedicated that song to you.

Brat.

[SportsFan68]

TBone almost lost his supermax because of Sprots, but I gave it to him anyway because his parody deserved it...

At least I know you're not a feelthy lier when you say you listen to me. Reversewise, of course, but still listening.