Rest of Republican Field Trembles in Fear

[TheCalvinator24]

Chuck Norris Endorses Mike Huckabee

[Bob78164]

Chuck Norris Endorses Mike Huckabee

What I want to know is, who is Jack Bauer endorsing? --Bob

[cindy.wellman]

Chuck Norris Endorses Mike Huckabee

WOW 2,761 views on this thread.



Hmmmm, I wonder if in addition to trembling in fear, the rest of the republican field felt the need to read this too. OR, Chuck Norris has a huge fan base or, or, or......

[traininvain]

Chuck Norris Endorses Mike Huckabee

I could have sworn that he endosed Sy Sperling.

[TheCalvinator24]

Top 20 Mike Huckabee Facts

#20. When Mike Huckabee participated in the Iowa Straw Poll, they had to re-name it the Iowa Iron Pole.

#19. Stephen Hawking told Mike Huckabee the universe was 12 billion years old once. Once.

#18. Mike Huckabee lost 100 pounds of body fat by eating it.

#17. Top scientists believe global warming is a direct consequence of Mike Huckabee getting angry.

#16. Mike Huckabee won’t repeal the Estate Tax out of sympathy for the families of his victims.

#15. Mike Huckabee has completed six marathons, two of which aren’t until next year.

#14. Fred Thomspon, John McCain and Rudy Giuliani all got cancer because Mike Huckabee looked at them too hard.

#13. If Mike Huckabee is elected, he’ll bring all the troops home–he can handle this himself.

#12. Mike Huckabee would’ve stopped the attack of 9/11, but there was an asteroid hurtling toward Earth that day.

#11. Mike Huckabee doesn’t talk in sound bites; he speaks in decibel munches.

#10. Charles Darwin was actually born the same year as Mike Huckabee, but Huckabee punched him back to the 1800s.

#9. If Mike Huckabee had been President, the levees in New Orleans never would’ve broke, ’cause Katrina would’ve known better.

#8. Mike Huckabee’s philosophy on showing mercy is “abstinence-only.”

#7. Atheism can be cured by Mike Huckabee’s farts.

#6. Mike Huckabee is so powerful, even the ugly, unwanted, weight he discarded is running for president: Dennis Kucinich.

#5. The 1976 Tangshan earthquake killed over 250,000 people. Nine months later, the Huckabees welcomed their first son.

#4. Mike Huckabee spelled backwards is “Jesus Loves You.” It’s not? I dare you to tell that to Mike Huckabee.

#3. Mike Huckabee is only running for President because he’s reached his term limit as Grand Master of Space and Time

#2. Mike Huckabee opposes the right to die… painlessly.

#1. In Soviet Russia, President runs for Mike Huckabee!

Honorable Mention: If elected, Mike Huckabee will replace the Justice Department with his fists.

[TheConfessor]

I used to think I was pretty smart until all 20 of the Huckabee facts went over my head. I assume there was some attempted humor involved.

[littlebeast13]

Looks like someone's jacking with the hit counts....

Ah, just like the old days!

lb13

[peacock2121]

I think Cal is not a Huckabee fan.

[MarleysGh0st]

Looks like someone's jacking with the hit counts....

Ah, just like the old days!

And we've got our first spam in another thread. Looks like things are getting exciting around here!

[earendel]

Looks like someone's jacking with the hit counts....

Ah, just like the old days!

And we've got our first spam in another thread. Looks like things are getting exciting around here!

I'm not sure you and I would agree on what constitutes "exciting" around here.

[peacock2121]

Looks like someone's jacking with the hit counts....

Ah, just like the old days!

And we've got our first spam in another thread. Looks like things are getting exciting around here!

That's not spam.

They want us to know how their life is.

Cuz we are such great people.

[NellyLunatic1980]

Top 20 Chuck Norris facts:

20. Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.

19. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

18. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

17. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

16. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

15. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch "60 Minutes".

14. There is no theory of evolution. Chuck Norris decides what animals live.

13. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

12. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

11. Chuck Norris hasn't shown emotion since 1968.

10. Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

9. Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.

8. Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

7. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

6. Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that beats a royal flush. He even won a WSOP bracelet in 1983 with a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a joker, a Get out of Jail Free card from Monopoly, and a green 4 card from an Uno deck.

5. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

4. Chuck Norris knows where in the world Carmen Sandiego is.

3. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.... except Chuck Norris.

2. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

1. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

[MarleysGh0st]

That's not spam.

They want us to know how their life is.

Cuz we are such great people.

If he's lurked enough to work an "on-topic" angle to his story, he just might get an audience.

[BackInTex]

I used to think I was pretty smart until all 20 of the Huckabee facts went over my head. I assume there was some attempted humor involved.

I understood the basic numbering scheme. 1, 2, 3, etc. Other than that it made little sense, and even less humor.

Some of it seemed like a David Letterman top 10 list written by the intern who came in 4th place.

[TheCalvinator24]

I think Cal is not a Huckabee fan.

I have a few reservations about him, but he is probably my favorite candidate among this year's Republican field.

[Appa23]

Apparently, Pea and BiT are not familiar with the internet phenomenon of "Chuck Norris facts".


Nelly gave us a nice start.

[BackInTex]

Apparently, Pea and BiT are not familiar with the internet phenomenon of "Chuck Norris facts".


Nelly gave us a nice start.

I understood, and believe, all of the Chuck Norris stuff.

Maybe I need to smoke something before the Huckabee stuff makes sense.

[Appa23]

What I want to know is, who is Jack Bauer endorsing? --Bob

Funny, you should mention Jack Bauer.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds

[earendel]

Apparently, Pea and BiT are not familiar with the internet phenomenon of "Chuck Norris facts".


Nelly gave us a nice start.

I understood, and believe, all of the Chuck Norris stuff.

Maybe I need to smoke something before the Huckabee stuff makes sense.

Maybe it depends upon whether you view Huckabee as a viable candidate or not. I understood some (but not all) of the references. However, at the risk of offending either Huckabee or Chuck Norris, I don't usually find such statements humorous.

[Appa23]

The bogeyman checks in his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has a night light in his bedroom. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried.

[Appa23]

Why wouldn't Chuck Norris support Mike Huckabee.

Jesus asked Mike Huckabee for career advice, but Huckabee was too busy body-slamming Satan.

Mike Huckabee is forbidden to interfere with human history.

Mike Huckabee is opposed to gay marriage . . . otherwise every man on earth will want to marry him.

If Mike Huckabee had been around in Biblical times, the symbol of Christianity would be Pontius Pilate with a cross up his ass.

Most bass players tune to a low E; Mike Huckabee tunes to F U.

Fifteen years ago Mike Huckabee cured "Andrew" Coulter of his vestigial male genitalia.*

* Indecision 2008 on Comedy Central has a couple more "facts" that might offend a few people.)

[Bixby17]

Superman wears Mike Huckabee pajamas.

[TheCalvinator24]

Oh, and the View Count was just a lark. At first, I just wanted to see if refreshing changed the count. Then, I tested to see if holding down Control-R would run the numbers up quickly.

After seeing both were successful, I decided I wanted to artificially pump the count up over 10K. Just for the heck of it.

[nitrah55]

I think Cal is not a Huckabee fan.

I have a few reservations about him, but he is probably my favorite candidate among this year's Republican field.

I am actually in agreement with Cal on this.

I like when Cal and I agree.

[TheCalvinator24]

I think Cal is not a Huckabee fan.

I have a few reservations about him, but he is probably my favorite candidate among this year's Republican field.

I am actually in agreement with Cal on this.

I like when Cal and I agree.

I don't want to rain on your parade, but I suspect if we started going down his positions, where I have reservations, you probably like what you hear, and where you have reservations, I probably like what I hear.

That's just a guess.

I'm just sayin'