Evil Thieving Squirrels!

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AnnieCamaro · #1 Post by **AnnieCamaro** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:12 pm

Another squirrel nest blew down into the back yard from a tall tree. Because we like science, Lizbit and I went out to further our analysis of squirrel nest construction materials and techniques. (I mentioned a couple of months ago that we were doing a research project on this topic.)

The first thing we found in the nest was Lizbit's favorite stuffed duck! I was outraged. It's one thing for a squirrel to pick up bits of plastic bags or apples that the neighbor's little children leave on the back porch. When they start stealing toys from puppies, however, they've gone too far!

I have lectured Lizzle about not leaving her things in the yard. Similarly, I've also reminded my mom not to leave the keys in her car, or else the next thing you know, they will be taking her car, driving to the mall, and staging holdups to steal stuffed animals from Toys-R-Us. Mammalian civilization is going to hell in a handbasket!

Whatever a handbasket might be.

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #2 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:21 pm

A few days ago, I was driving home after dropping Emma off at school and noticed a squirrel. The squirrel had climbed on a power line and was running across this very busy street, over the heads of the cars on the wire.

Even though I know that squirrels are evil, I had admire his resourcefulness.

AnnieCamaro · #3 Post by **AnnieCamaro** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:28 pm

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:A few days ago, I was driving home after dropping Emma off at school and noticed a squirrel. The squirrel had climbed on a power line and was running across this very busy street, over the heads of the cars on the wire.

Even though I know that squirrels are evil, I had admire his resourcefulness.

He probably was running away from a heist. Criminals can be resourceful.

ne1410s · #4 Post by **ne1410s** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:29 pm

annie (i am whispering in case you don't know), do not tell your mama: i feed the squirrels in my neighborhood. however, they have sworn on a stack of corncobs, that they have never stolen a toy duck. i think it must be that okie squirrels are not raised as well as some others. i'm just sayin'...

tom

AnnieCamaro · #5 Post by **AnnieCamaro** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:41 pm

ne1410s wrote:annie (i am whispering in case you don't know), do not tell your mama: i feed the squirrels in my neighborhood. however, they have sworn on a stack of corncobs, that they have never stolen a toy duck. i think it must be that okie squirrels are not raised as well as some others. i'm just sayin'...

tom

You may be right, Mr. NE1. I do realize that not all squirrels are evil. I personally know of two -- Rocket J. Squirrel, the well-known actor, and Daniel the Squirrel, of Houston, TX., whose character has been vouched for by Ms. Bixby's son, who are excellent citizens. I will accept your judgment of your neighborhood squirrels as well. I've simply seen too many examples with my own eyes and heard too many stories about squirrels behaving badly across the country to give all squirrels an automatic pass with "Oh, that squirrel is just a kid" or "That misguided squirrel grew up in a bad family."

Furthermore, you don't really know what might happen if you stopped feeding the squirrels in your neighborhood, do you? My advice is to be careful.

Beebs52 · #6 Post by **Beebs52** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:54 pm

Annie baby, I feel your pain. I just bought another bird feeder since the "evil squirrel proof" one that we've had forever, and that has fostered thousands of generations of squirrels since we've lived here...got on my last nerve.

I'm hoping that the $5.99 cylindrical wonder, with little perchy thingies and a rounded small top, will deter those rotten, miscreantical and bold suckers from starving the poor hungry birdies.

We haven't discovered any stuffed toys, though. No one plays much with stuffed toys outside anymore, cause they're old.

kayrharris · #7 Post by **kayrharris** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:10 pm

The cheap ones work really well. I have one that has a spring action that works great. The weight of the squirrel knocks those suckers right off the feeder.

I've seen those evil squirrel perform magnificent acrobatics trying to get at the birdseed to no avail on other feeders. The one with the spring action doesn't allow acrobatics.

Beebs52 · #8 Post by **Beebs52** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:56 pm

kayrharris wrote:The cheap ones work really well. I have one that has a spring action that works great. The weight of the squirrel knocks those suckers right off the feeder.

I've seen those evil squirrel perform magnificent acrobatics trying to get at the birdseed to no avail on other feeders. The one with the spring action doesn't allow acrobatics.

The old, expensive one with the door that's supposed to shut, blah blah blah, offered them perfect purchase to hang upside down and munch. What a piece of crap.

peacock2121 · #9 Post by **peacock2121** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 5:32 am

There is evil and then there is evil thieving.

How rude!

Those E L Squirrels must be stopped!

ne1410s · #10 Post by **ne1410s** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 8:14 am

My advice is to be careful.

The Chinese call squirrels "tree rats". I think I shall be carefuller.