March 6 QoD -- "Molly Ivins Can't Say That... Can She?

[NellyLunatic1980]

Rules: viewtopic.php?p=40443#40443

It’s amazing what some famous people will say when the cameras and microphones are on them. It’s even more amazing what some famous people will say when they think the cameras and microphones aren’t on them. Below is a list of 15 quotations, many of which contain obscenities. For each one, you must tell me the famous person who said. One quotation has been attributed to two famous people; I just need one of them. Don’t forget the tougher quotation at the bottom for 5 bonus points.

I sure hope Mr. Ashcroft isn’t reading this thread...

Answers are due by Friday at 5 PM Eastern

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities)
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.”
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.”
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”

[peacock2121]

Spoiler

I got nothing.

I actually don't even want to guess.

I do want to be counted as playing though.

I am odd.

[LookingForHumorPoints]

It’s amazing what some famous people will say when the cameras and microphones are on them. It’s even more amazing what some famous people will say when they think the cameras and microphones aren’t on them. Below is a list of 15 quotations, many of which contain obscenities. For each one, you must tell me the famous person who said. One quotation has been attributed to two famous people; I just need one of them. Don’t forget the tougher quotation at the bottom for 5 bonus points.

I sure hope Mr. Ashcroft isn’t reading this thread...

Answers are due by Friday at 5 PM Eastern

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.” Larry Craig
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.” Brett Favre
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities) Jacques Cousteau
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.” flockofseagulls104
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...” George W. Bush
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.” John F. Kennedy
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.” Pat Robertson
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.” Larry the Cable Guy
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.” Oral B. Roberts
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.” Sam Walton
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!” Stevie Wonder
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.” 50 Cent
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.” Jean Claude Van Damme
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!” MyBigFatFabulousBrain
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.” Gerald Ford

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.” Gerald Ford


LFHP

[themanintheseersuckersuit]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.” Sharon Stone
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.” Terrell Owens
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities)
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.”
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.” Newt Gengrich
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”

[ne1410s]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”--MAE WEST
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.” --CHARLES BARKLEY
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities) --TOMMY ARMOUR
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.” --GEORGE W BUSH
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...” --BOB HALDEMAN
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”--HARRY TRUMAN
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.” --CLAIRE BOOTH LUCE
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.” --POPE JOHN XXIII
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.” --BILLY GRAHAM
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.” --DONALD TRUMP
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!” --OSCAR MADISON
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.” --CLARK GABLE
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.” --RICHARD GERE
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!” --HENRY KISSINGER
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.” --JOHNNY CARSON

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.” HELEN THOMAS

[nitrah55]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities) WC FIELDS
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.” DICK CHENEY
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.” KRISTIN CHENOWETH
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.” JOHNNY CARSON

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”

[megaaddict]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”
Sir Elton John ?

2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”
Terrell Owens ? (can I get half a point if I just say some pouty NFL player?)

3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities)
W.C. Fields ?

4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.”
George W. Bush ? (or Cheney, since no guns involved, go with Dubya)

5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
Dan Rather ?

6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
LBJ ?

7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
G.B. Shaw?

8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
Gerald Ford ?

9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.”
Billy Graham ?

10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
Trump ?

11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
Martha Stewart ?

12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
Bette Davis ?

13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
Andy Dick ?

14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”
Albert Einstein ?

15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”
Dan Aykroyd ?


BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”
George Will ?


"I'm crystal fucking clear on the concept of going down in QoD flames."
megaaddict

[andrewjackson]

Spoiler

1. Madonna
2. Barry Bonds
3. W.C. Fields
4. George W. Bush
5. Dan Rather
6. Lyndon Johnson
7. Virginia Woolf
8. Britney Spears
9. Ellen DeGeneres
10. Donald Trump
11. John McEnroe
12. Deborah Kerr
13. Johnny Depp
14.Oliver Stone
15. Johnny Carson

BONUS
Bill Clinton

[Catfish]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”
Danny Noreiga
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”
Roger Clemens
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities)
WC Fields
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.”
Rupert Murdoch
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
Richard Nixon
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
Henry Kissinger
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
Ernest Hemingway
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
Queen Elizabeth II
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.”
Jerry Falwell
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
Donald Trump
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
Martha Stewart
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
Elizabeth Taylor
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
Keith Richards
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”
George HW Bush
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”
Dan Ackroyd

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”
Walter "Fritz" Mondale

[nitrah55]

I can't wait to see the correct answers posted.

And I showed restraint in not putting in BB names when I had to make a wild guess.

[AnnieCamaro]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities) -- Mr. W.C. Fields
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.” -- Mr. Vice President Dick Cheney. (I didn't even know assholes had a league.)
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.”
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!” -- I had a guess here, but it sounded mean. I'm not that kind of girl, so I took it out.
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.” -- Mr. Robin Williams

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.” -- Miss Ann Coulter

This is not my best subject. I don't think I ever read any of these quotes at Home School High School.

[tanstaafl2]

Looks like another SWAGish kind of day.

Rules: viewtopic.php?p=40443#40443

It’s amazing what some famous people will say when the cameras and microphones are on them. It’s even more amazing what some famous people will say when they think the cameras and microphones aren’t on them. Below is a list of 15 quotations, many of which contain obscenities. For each one, you must tell me the famous person who said. One quotation has been attributed to two famous people; I just need one of them. Don’t forget the tougher quotation at the bottom for 5 bonus points.

I sure hope Mr. Ashcroft isn’t reading this thread...

Answers are due by Friday at 5 PM Eastern

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”
Jessica Rabbit...

2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”
The always charming Barry Bonds

3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities)
I always heard it as W.C Fields. Don't know the other one.

4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.”
George W. Bush

5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
I dunno

6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
LBJ

7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
I dunno

8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
Hmm. I think that may have been me...

9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.”
Barry Goldwater

10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
Remy the rat

11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
Mr. Magoo...

12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
Rock Hudson...

13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
Tiny Tim...

14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”
I dunno

15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”
Bill Murray?

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”
Billy Carter...

Seems to be at least a partially political theme.

[ToLiveIsToFly]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”
Mae West?
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”
Barry Bonds
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities)
Probably someone funnier said it first (hell, Carrot Top is funnier), but I heard Gallagher say it
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.”
GW Bush
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
Chris Matthews
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
LBJ?
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
GB Shaw??
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
Gerry Ford?
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.”
Barry Goldwater
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
George Carlin?
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
John McEnroe
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
Deborah Kerr?
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
Johnny Depp?
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”
John McCain
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”
Bill Murray

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”
Miss Lillian

[fantine33]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”

Sharon Stone (wasn't she talking about Dwight Yoakum?)

2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”

Barry Bonds

3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities)

WC Fields (I thought it was "fish function in it", like there's fish poop and wee in it. But maybe it was just cleaned up, sort of.)

4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.”

Bill Parcells

5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”

Kenneth Starr

6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”

Lyndon Johnson

7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”

Kurt Vonnegut

8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”

Beyonce

9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.”

Larry Flynt

10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”

Are these all real people? It seems like this is familiar from a song or a movie or something. If you can't be right, be funny. But I can be neither on this one. Ha!

Sam Goldwyn

11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”

Annie Sullivan

12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”

Marlon Brando

13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”

Pete Doherty

14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”

Sir Robert Holt, Esq.

15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”

Dan Ackroyd

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”

Ronald Reagan

[tlynn78]

Wow, I'm going to suck at this one. And you can quote me on that.

Spoiler

4. GW Bush
6. LB Johnson

t.

[kroxquo]

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”
Alex Rodriguez
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities)
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.”
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.”
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.”
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”

I got nothing

[T_Bone0806]

Spoiler

Most of these are gonna be wild guesses or goofy guesses.

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.” KIM CATTRALL
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.” MICKEY MANTLE
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities) W.C. FIELDS
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.” JIMMY BRESLIN
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.” LYNDON JOHNSON
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.” GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.” MARILYN MONROE
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.” LARRY FLINT
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.” RON POPEILL
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!” MY OPTOMETRIST
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.” ELIZABETH TAYLOR
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.” PETE DOHERTY
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”ALEXANDER HAIG
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”JOHNNY CARSON

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.”[/quote] ROSALYN CARTER.

[SportsFan68]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.” I'll guess Mae West.
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.” I'll guess Barry Bonds.
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities) I'll guess CW Fields.
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.” I'll guess Tuna Parcells.
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...” I'll guess Rush Limbaugh.
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.” Pretty sure this is LBJ.
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.” I'll guess DH Lawrence.
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.” I'll guess Jessica Simpson.
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.” I'll guess Jimmy Carter.
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.” I'll guess Howard Stern.
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!” I'll guess Jimmy Johnson.
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.” I'll guess John Wayne.
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.” I'll guess Tom Cruise.
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!” I'll guess Tom DeLay.
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.” I'll guess Dan Aykroyd.

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.” I'll guess Jerry Falwell.

[fantine33]

[14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!” -- I had a guess here, but it sounded mean. I'm not that kind of girl, so I took it out.

Annie, I can only hope to aspire to someday be half as noble as you are already.

[SportsFan68]

LOL!

I LOLed when I looked up the real peoples who said this stuff!

[mrkelley23]

Spoiler

1. Carrie Fisher
2. Brett Favre
3. W. C. Fields is the only one I've heard of
4. George W. Bush
5. Brit Hume
6. Sam Ervin
7. Dorothy Parker
8. Marilyn Monroe
9. Barry Goldwater
10. littlebeast13
11. Bugs Bunny in a Mr. Magoo cartoon
12. Rock Hudson, who knew from Mixmasters up the ass.
13. Donald Trump. Ok, just hoping
14. Hillary Clinton. Or Barack Obama
15. Walter Matthau. Can't believe you didn't actually use his line about Streisand.


Bonus: Walter Mondale.

[Greyhound Dude]

Spoiler

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.” CHER
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.” BARRY BONDS
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” OSCAR WILDE
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.” GEORGE W. BUSH
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...” CHRIS MATTHEWS
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.” LYNDON JOHNSON
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.” D H LAWRENCE
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.” BRITNEY SPEARS
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.” PASS
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.” TOM WAITS
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!” JOHN McENROE
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.” MARLON BRANDO
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.” PETE DOHERTY
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!” PASS
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.” JOHNNY CARSON

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.” LANE KIRKLAND

[etaoin22]

Spoiler

Rules: viewtopic.php?p=40443#40443

It’s amazing what some famous people will say when the cameras and microphones are on them. It’s even more amazing what some famous people will say when they think the cameras and microphones aren’t on them. Below is a list of 15 quotations, many of which contain obscenities. For each one, you must tell me the famous person who said. One quotation has been attributed to two famous people; I just need one of them. Don’t forget the tougher quotation at the bottom for 5 bonus points.

I sure hope Mr. Ashcroft isn’t reading this thread...

Answers are due by Friday at 5 PM Eastern

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.”

Madonna
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.”

Johnny Damon
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” (2 possibilities)

Dottie Parker or WC Fields
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.” GWB

5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...”
Ben Bradlee
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.” LBJ
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.” Salman Rushdie
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.”
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.”
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.”
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!”
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.”
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!”
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.”

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.” Hunter Thompson

[NellyLunatic1980]

It’s amazing what some famous people will say when the cameras and microphones are on them. It’s even more amazing what some famous people will say when they think the cameras and microphones aren’t on them. Below is a list of 15 quotations, many of which contain obscenities. For each one, you must tell me the famous person who said. One quotation has been attributed to two famous people; I just need one of them. Don’t forget the tougher quotation at the bottom for 5 bonus points.

I sure hope Mr. Ashcroft isn’t reading this thread...

1. “My rule of thumb, and it’s never failed me, is that if a man is a good kisser, he’s a good fuck.” - Cher
2. “It’s an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform ‘cause of the way I’m playing. There, that’s it. Now go away.” - Barry Bonds
3. “I don’t drink water. Fish fuck in it.” - I accepted either W.C. Fields or Oscar Wilde
4. “There’s Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times.” - George W. Bush
5. “We’re all reacting here and putting on shit. We have nothing...” - Chris Matthews
6. (about Richard Nixon) “I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.” - Lyndon Johnson
7. (about James Joyce) “Nothing but fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate journalistic dirty-mindedness.” - D.H. Lawrence
8. “I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.” - Britney Spears (Contrary to popular belief, it was not Gerald Ford. )
9. “I think every good Christian ought to kick (Jerry) Falwell right in the ass.” - Barry Goldwater (My all-time favorite political quote!)
10. “I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for a wedding ring.” - Tom Waits
11. “You can’t see as well as these fucking flowers... and they’re fucking plastic!” - John McEnroe
12. (about Montgomery Clift) “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.” - Marlon Brando
13. (about Kate Moss) “I can’t buy her diamonds, and my dick is too small.” - Pete Doherty
14. “Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in this room!” - John McCain
15. (about Chevy Chase) “He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner.” - Johnny Carson

BONUS
(about Jimmy Carter) “He is your typical smiling, brilliant, backstabbing, bullshitting Southern nut cutter.” - Lane Kirkland, former head of the AFL-CIO

Is it just me, or were all of the wrong answers funnier than the correct answers?

Greyhound has the best daily score yet again. He picked up another 18 to expand his lead to 39.

March 6 Scores / Scores after Day 7
Greyhound - 18 / 123
aj - 7 / 84
tansta - 6 / 84 (1 humor point)
fanny - 6 / 80 (1 humor point)
tlynn - 2 / 70
pea - 1 / 68 (participation)
Confessor - X / 67.5
T_Bone - 6 / 67 (2 humor points)
mrkelley - 6 / 64 (3 humor points)
ne - 6 / 61.5 (4 humor points)
Annie - 1 / 59.5
lb13 - X / 58.5
nitrah - 2 / 58
Catfish - 3 / 57 (2 humor points)
gsabc - X / 53.5
mega - 6 / 53 (3 humor points)
mikehardware - X / 51.5
Marley - X / 46
TMITSSS - 1 / 46 (participation)
plasticene - X / 45.5
Dad - X / 42
minty - X / 42
jarnon - X / 30
Sprots - 6 / 29 (2 humor points)
krox - 1 / 28 (participation)
ladysoleil - X / 28
winter - X / 25
Bob#s - X / 18.5
Rexer - X / 18
trevor - X / 18
starfish - X / 17
hermillion - X / 12
SirG - X / 11
LFHP - 5 / 10
TLITF - 8 / 8
etaoin - 3 / 6
jsuchard - X / 5
christie - X / 1

[peacock2121]

howdy!

I don't even know who some of those people are.