My mother is 90...will be 91 in May. She seems much more feeble than when I was here in November. She had fallen last week. She has a big black and blue bruise on her forehead and two black eyes. Her full time caregiver said my mother absolutely refused to let her call 911 when it happened, so she hasn't seen a doctor since she fell. I told her in the future, to disregard what my mother says and do it anyway. Whether or not that will happen is unknown.
She had called her doctor last week about her ribs hurting. They didn't take her in and the doctor just called her in muscle relaxer. I'm not a doctor & I don't play one on TV, but I think this could have contributed to her fall. She walks with a walker and is constantly reminding us that she "might fall". Don't muscle relaxers make you a bit light headed or dizzy?
She is having much more difficulty in getting up and down than when I last saw her.
My brother is taking her to the doctor tomorrow. I'm thinking x-rays of her ribs for sure - and maybe her head from the fall - are in order. After watching her this morning, I'm not so sure we shouldn't ask her doctor about admitting her to the hospital for a few days, just to check everything out. I'm mulling over whether to mention this to my brother, who lives here and will have to deal with it, since I'm leaving Thursday.
Lots of us here dealing with older parents. It really is hard, especially when there is a distance involved. Thanks for listening.
Mom report
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kayrharris
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Mom report
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christie1111
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It is so dificult, but it is good you are there now. Hang in there.
Hugs to you and your brother.
P.S. My mom finally got back to Oahu, but her stay was longer on Molokai due to mostly enjoying her friends hospitality and assuming it was easier for all if she stayed longer which was probably true.
Hugs to you and your brother.
P.S. My mom finally got back to Oahu, but her stay was longer on Molokai due to mostly enjoying her friends hospitality and assuming it was easier for all if she stayed longer which was probably true.
"A bed without a quilt is like the sky without stars"
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MarleysGh0st
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Re: Mom report
It is.kayrharris wrote:Lots of us here dealing with older parents. It really is hard, especially when there is a distance involved.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
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kayrharris
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Christie, glad your mom is recovering nicely. I can't believe my mother hasn't broken anything in all these years!
If any of you are so inclined, the local TV station did a series on seniors last week and featured my mother in one of their segments. They bounce between people and almost make it seem like she has Alzheimers, but my mother has no signs of Alzheimer's at all. She is the one in the green little sweat suit (my Christmas gift to her...really blew the budget at Target, but that's all she wears!).
Click on the little camera icon above Lori Lyle's name and you'll get the video.
http://www.wave3.com/Global/story.asp?S ... v=menu31_6
If any of you are so inclined, the local TV station did a series on seniors last week and featured my mother in one of their segments. They bounce between people and almost make it seem like she has Alzheimers, but my mother has no signs of Alzheimer's at all. She is the one in the green little sweat suit (my Christmas gift to her...really blew the budget at Target, but that's all she wears!).
Click on the little camera icon above Lori Lyle's name and you'll get the video.
http://www.wave3.com/Global/story.asp?S ... v=menu31_6
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. "
Benjamin Franklin
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peacock2121
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fuzzywuzzy
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Re: Mom report
kay...oh, sweetie! Prayers and good vibes to you, your Mom & your brother! Its hard to watch our parents get older, and NOT want us to help them when they REALLY need it! To me, each and every day is a gift with my family! I am going to see my Mom & Dad in less than a month! Then we are going to Ireland together! We have never been...my Dad's parents were born there. I can't wait!kayrharris wrote:My mother is 90...will be 91 in May.
Lots of us here dealing with older parents. It really is hard, especially when there is a distance involved. Thanks for listening.
Take care of yourself too kay...its a tough time on everyone when a loved one is recovering!
fuzzy
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— Mark Twain
"Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else."
- Judy Garland
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tlynn78
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Kay - you've got a lot on your plate. Being a caregiver is tough, especially when there are difficult decisions to make. IMO, prescribing muscle relaxers for a 90 y-o without seeing her is irreresponsible. (I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on tv. I dint even stay at Holiday Inn Express) My great aunt fell last weekend. She's 93, and from what you describe, looks just like your mom. I told her to lay off the sauce. She did, however, consent to an ER visit, and is okay, albeit shaky. I'm glad you are getting you mom checked out. Keep on keeping on, she knows you love her. I"d bet the service providing care has some form you can ask for that sets forth what you want done, irrespective of what your mom says (when she's JUST injured herself). Best of luck to you
t.
t.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. -Thomas Paine
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Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
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silvercamaro
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Kay, I've just had a thought. It may be brilliant insight, or it may be hooey, but I'll throw it out for your consideration.
Your mom may be so adamant about not calling 911, and not going to the hospital, because she is afraid that not only will she be hospitalized for a few days, but she then will be released only to a nursing facility -- and she may never see her own home again. Is it possible that something similar has happened in the past to one or more of her friends? Similarly, she may simply equate "hospital" to "dying" for similar reasons.
Edited to take out a bunch of stuff. I would rather not appear to be complaining about someone else who complains. That's a little too scary.
Your mom may be so adamant about not calling 911, and not going to the hospital, because she is afraid that not only will she be hospitalized for a few days, but she then will be released only to a nursing facility -- and she may never see her own home again. Is it possible that something similar has happened in the past to one or more of her friends? Similarly, she may simply equate "hospital" to "dying" for similar reasons.
Edited to take out a bunch of stuff. I would rather not appear to be complaining about someone else who complains. That's a little too scary.
Last edited by silvercamaro on Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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kayrharris
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Thanks everyone. It's getting to that time of day where I'm going to lose the internet connection. SC, you may be right about the 911 thing, but you should see what she looks like. I feel sure she should have had some sort of medical attention at the time it happened. Her caregiver says she gets mad at her, but she's just going to have to be the one in charge.
I'll try to give an update tomorrow, but her appointment is late afternoon and I may not have any internet service by the time we know something.
I'm feeling the same way about being aggravated and upset. I really am not feeling very sympathetic at all. I should feel guilty, but at the moment I just don't.
I'll try to give an update tomorrow, but her appointment is late afternoon and I may not have any internet service by the time we know something.
I'm feeling the same way about being aggravated and upset. I really am not feeling very sympathetic at all. I should feel guilty, but at the moment I just don't.
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. "
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tlynn78
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It's okay to be frustrated, especially when you're doing what you can and it's never enough. It's okay to say, this is what I can do, and that's it. Being the grownup with your parents sucks.
t.
t.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. -Thomas Paine
You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. -Ayn Rand
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. -Ayn Rand
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
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ghostjmf
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Good luck. The caregiver has to be impressed with the need to get your Mom to a hospital after a fall. A 911 call would not be needed when your Mom is conscious & ambulatory after the fall, but the emergency room visit, even if under "normal car power", is needed.
My sister is the full-time, & this pretty much means 24 hours/day, caregiver for my Mom. With only very occasional relief from an occasional sitter, or me when I can visit. The sitter, who cares a few hours/week for various older people, knows not to listen to my Mom's ideas about "what to do next", but at any rate fortunately Mom hasn't fallen when under the sitter's care.
Mom has fallen right in front of both my sister & me, both reaching out to catch her. That time, a bush broke her fall. Other times have required emergency room visits. So far she hasn't broken anything. The most recent set of tests did confirm that she has no cartilage left in the X-rayed hip, though. Something you think the doctors would have verified before now.
Its my sister's reasoning (& I tend to agree) that its good to keep Mom ambulatory for as long as we can. But "ambulatory" means "can potentially fall", too.
My sister is the full-time, & this pretty much means 24 hours/day, caregiver for my Mom. With only very occasional relief from an occasional sitter, or me when I can visit. The sitter, who cares a few hours/week for various older people, knows not to listen to my Mom's ideas about "what to do next", but at any rate fortunately Mom hasn't fallen when under the sitter's care.
Mom has fallen right in front of both my sister & me, both reaching out to catch her. That time, a bush broke her fall. Other times have required emergency room visits. So far she hasn't broken anything. The most recent set of tests did confirm that she has no cartilage left in the X-rayed hip, though. Something you think the doctors would have verified before now.
Its my sister's reasoning (& I tend to agree) that its good to keep Mom ambulatory for as long as we can. But "ambulatory" means "can potentially fall", too.
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Re: Mom report
kayrharris wrote:My mother is 90...will be 91 in May. She seems much more feeble than when I was here in November. She had fallen last week. She has a big black and blue bruise on her forehead and two black eyes. Her full time caregiver said my mother absolutely refused to let her call 911 when it happened, so she hasn't seen a doctor since she fell. I told her in the future, to disregard what my mother says and do it anyway. Whether or not that will happen is unknown.
She had called her doctor last week about her ribs hurting. They didn't take her in and the doctor just called her in muscle relaxer. I'm not a doctor & I don't play one on TV, but I think this could have contributed to her fall. She walks with a walker and is constantly reminding us that she "might fall". Don't muscle relaxers make you a bit light headed or dizzy?
She is having much more difficulty in getting up and down than when I last saw her.
My brother is taking her to the doctor tomorrow. I'm thinking x-rays of her ribs for sure - and maybe her head from the fall - are in order. After watching her this morning, I'm not so sure we shouldn't ask her doctor about admitting her to the hospital for a few days, just to check everything out. I'm mulling over whether to mention this to my brother, who lives here and will have to deal with it, since I'm leaving Thursday.
Lots of us here dealing with older parents. It really is hard, especially when there is a distance involved. Thanks for listening.
I am not a doctor, but if she fell and her ribs hurt, I don't understand why her doctor didn't see her?
I am sorry that you are going through this.
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etaoin22
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I am a doctor, although since I dont look like George Clooney, Denzel Washington or all the hotties on Anatomy, I could never play one on TV.
The #1 answer:
Yes, there would be a strong suspicion that a newly started medication with CNS secondary effects might have contributed to the fall. This in fact would probably be the first, second and third in a list of differential diagnoses.
After that, one would wonder about the nature of the first pain in the ribs. Was it in the ribs, or in the underlying pleura? Could there be a pneumonia, water around the lungs, or a rib fracture from a previous fall?
Are all the other meds being used, used optimally?
But events do not happen all at once in the elderly, and aspects of the underlying frailty need to be addresses as well. If yur mum talks about falling while using the walker, is it the right walker for her? Has the living environment been recently reassessed in light of continuing frailty. (Floors, rugs, lighting, easy access to tthe toi-toi, and so on?
(And there are health-care systemic issues as well; ideally one adresses these questions in a team environment without immense time pressure. If the Primary Care Doc has a full 8 minutes to address every issue, it is tough, and I have great admiration for the way front line staff manage to attain the best results possible)
And if when she is better, you and yur mum may agree that sometimes she might be best to head to the ER for an X-Ray, even though she would prefer to say "no". This should be documented in a written fashion, and perhaps be a start for other health care mandate issues. This is both a theoretical and practical issue, since among other things, a previous verbal instruction from a relative may not be considered as anywhere near a determined "no !" from someone who has enough marbles to say "no!" in a reasonable fashion.
The #1 answer:
Yes, there would be a strong suspicion that a newly started medication with CNS secondary effects might have contributed to the fall. This in fact would probably be the first, second and third in a list of differential diagnoses.
After that, one would wonder about the nature of the first pain in the ribs. Was it in the ribs, or in the underlying pleura? Could there be a pneumonia, water around the lungs, or a rib fracture from a previous fall?
Are all the other meds being used, used optimally?
But events do not happen all at once in the elderly, and aspects of the underlying frailty need to be addresses as well. If yur mum talks about falling while using the walker, is it the right walker for her? Has the living environment been recently reassessed in light of continuing frailty. (Floors, rugs, lighting, easy access to tthe toi-toi, and so on?
(And there are health-care systemic issues as well; ideally one adresses these questions in a team environment without immense time pressure. If the Primary Care Doc has a full 8 minutes to address every issue, it is tough, and I have great admiration for the way front line staff manage to attain the best results possible)
And if when she is better, you and yur mum may agree that sometimes she might be best to head to the ER for an X-Ray, even though she would prefer to say "no". This should be documented in a written fashion, and perhaps be a start for other health care mandate issues. This is both a theoretical and practical issue, since among other things, a previous verbal instruction from a relative may not be considered as anywhere near a determined "no !" from someone who has enough marbles to say "no!" in a reasonable fashion.
