Wedding Blog - BD Squared minus 181

[gsabc]

BD is pissed at FSIL. I don't know whether to be or not. He has been nearly out of touch for the last two weeks, completely so for the first part of that. His voice mailbox is full and won't accept any more messages. Not sure if that means he has others worried about him or if he just never deletes his old messages. When he finally sent text messages (no voice, as far as I'm aware), he said he has been working 12-hour shifts ending at midnight local (3 AM here), guarding a prisoner of some sort. No further details.

Problem #1 here is that he is supposed to come for a visit this weekend. He requested the leave time back at the start of January, and at last report, had not heard about permission, either way. BD has requested and been given vacation time, and they are scheduled to go get engagement photos, among other things. BD is an aide for an autistic child, and needs to let the mother know she won't be there for a couple of days. So basically, we don't know if he's coming, when he's coming, or much of anything. There is some suspicion that he is planning to surprise BD by showing up unannounced. At this point, her reaction will be a hug and kiss, followed by a punch in the gut. I'm sure of neither the order of those nor the location of the hit. She doesn't need the extra stress from the uncertainty. Hence the pissitude.

Problem #2 is communication in general. Back in the day, GW and I were separated for about nine months prior to the wedding, with a couple of visits in the middle. We wrote, in those pre-cellphone times, daily. And I mean daily. I'm convinced that we delayed at least one postal increase. I would sit down and write about everyday things - what had happened at work, what was going on at home, or later, the apartment, how I missed her, and so forth. My black cat, Morris, would vie for attention by crawling in my lap, usually over the letter in progress. Many were the missives that were "officially tromped on by Morris". They probably carried some cat fur, too. GW would do the same, minus the cat fur. Both sets of letters still reside somewhere in the house.

GW and I are certain that had cell phones with free long distance existed back then, we would have been talking daily. Probably more than daily. The same has not been true for BD and FSIL. Some of it is his Army life and schedule, I'm sure. Some is that he is hell on his cellphones. His has been in the shop several times for repair, partly his fault, partly the phone's. During those times, he has trouble contacting anyone. But no word at all for a week is dismaying to us, and upsetting (understatement) to BD. They've spent little enough physical time together as it is. They need to communicate more, by any transmission mode.

[christie1111]

Yikes, that is definitely a source of stress.

Does he not have access to email? I thought almost all military personnel do.

Empathy with BD here. I would be pissed too!

[kayrharris]

That is worrisome, especially in today's age of communication. My step-daughter's husband is in Iraq and he can IM her just about daily. With the difference in time, she will set her alarm and get up at the scheduled time he gives her just so they can "talk".

When he can't IM he sends email.

[peacock2121]

It is so hard to not let upsets between children and their chosen influence parents thoughts about the chosen. Even after the child has made up, we parents sometimes harbor feelings.

Try not to harbor.