I just butchered myself...

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danielh41 · #1 Post by **danielh41** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:14 pm

I'm wondering how women can stand this... As many of you know, I model for art classes. A few years ago, I took a gig as a bodycast model for the wax museum. The lady doing the cast highly recommended that I remove my body hair, so I got a bottle of Nair and went at it. That seemed to work pretty well, and I kind of liked the hairless look and feel. I decided that it might work to my advantage as an art model, so I started using Nair regularly. I noticed that I started getting more requests to model. I figure it only makes sense. Bodybuilders remove their hair so that the muscle structure can be better seen. The same principle applies to people trying to draw the figure, I reckoned.

Well, sometime in the last year, the Nair quit working like it used to. I went to a few spas and had waxing done. That would be my preferred method of hair removal, but it tends to get expensive. We tried an at-home wax kit, and my wife applied it, etc. I saw her sadistic side come out as she was ripping the strips off. That didn't bother me as much as the wax rollon thing did. I was left with really bad bruises on the back of my legs for my next drawing class.

I've had my wife help me with shaving my legs, and that has worked OK. It's still a pain in the butt though. So I tried shaving tonight by myself. Watching my blood swirl down the drain as I rinsed the razor was reminiscient of the movie "Psycho."

I now have a deep appreciation of what women go through to make themselves attractive. I only do this when I have a lot of drawing classes coming up. I can't imagine having to do this all the time. I'm sitting here now trying to get the bleeding stopped with as little scabbing as possible in between typing this.

etaoin22 · #2 Post by **etaoin22** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:20 pm

Dan, I agree with U, it's so much easier for us on the Mars side of the divide, when all we need to do for maximum personal attractiveness is to let go a few really loud f*rts. And maybe change clothes once a week. I'm sure that is what Casanova did.

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #3 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:52 pm

If you need to be waxed for a job, you can write it off as a business expense. Maybe it might mitigate the cost a bit.

marrymeflyfree · #4 Post by **marrymeflyfree** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:00 pm

If you're in it for the long haul, you might look into laser hair removal. You'd probably be a good candidate for it, since dude hair is usually darker and more coarse than chick hair. My guess is that it must be pretty safe and relatively painless, as a friend of mine had most of the hair beneath her unmentionables lasered off.

Beebs52 · #5 Post by **Beebs52** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:02 pm

Brazil. It ain't for wusses.

I, personally, haven't visited, so just sayin'.

marrymeflyfree · #6 Post by **marrymeflyfree** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:04 pm

Beebs52 wrote:Brazil. It ain't for wusses.

A pre-trip caipirinha or three is a very good thing. Obrigada.

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #7 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:13 pm

Beebs52 wrote:Brazil. It ain't for wusses.

I, personally, haven't visited, so just sayin'.

My hairstylist said that she had to learn to do Brazilians in beauty school.

spoiling this for the sensitive

Spoiler

Are you sure you want to read this?

Spoiler

She said that it was gross because girls would show up having their period and think that it would be ok to have a Brazilian, because they had on a tampon. Part of having a Brazilian meant being on all fours for waxing so the string would be hanging out all over the place...

Beebs52 · #8 Post by **Beebs52** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:18 pm

I think I'm glad I'm oldish and part of the old schoolish stuff.

Seriously. I don't have that much hair to begin with I certainly don't want it ripped off voluntarily.

shit.

marrymeflyfree · #9 Post by **marrymeflyfree** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:20 pm

Ewww! Someone should tell those girls that the following week is better for waxing anyway!

Beebs52 · #10 Post by **Beebs52** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:24 pm

How'd you like to be that technician? Waxing away and BOOM! Something comes flying around your arm after whipping that strip away. Fun! Jackson Pollock baby.

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #11 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:26 pm

Beebs52 wrote:How'd you like to be that technician? Waxing away and BOOM! Something comes flying around your arm after whipping that strip away. Fun! Jackson Pollock baby.

Spoiler

Strings are sometimes red as well.

Bob Juch · #12 Post by **Bob Juch** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:33 pm

And here I didn't think anything could gross me out anymore.

Beebs52 · #13 Post by **Beebs52** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:34 pm

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:
Beebs52 wrote:How'd you like to be that technician? Waxing away and BOOM! Something comes flying around your arm after whipping that strip away. Fun! Jackson Pollock baby.

Spoiler
Strings are sometimes red as well.

Thus the Jackson Pollock moment. Of course, the green from the hurling of the waxer would make more artistic.

kayrharris · #14 Post by **kayrharris** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:10 pm

If I were the technician, I think I would refuse said customer.

I'm just sayin'...

I'm with BobJuch on this one, btw....

Beebs52 · #15 Post by **Beebs52** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:15 pm

kayrharris wrote:If I were the technician, I think I would refuse said customer.

I'm just sayin'...

I'm with BobJuch on this one, btw....

We aim to please. Just like the technician. snort

wintergreen48 · #16 Post by **wintergreen48** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:16 pm

danielh41 wrote:
I've had my wife help me with shaving my legs, and that has worked OK. It's still a pain in the butt though.

If it's a pain in the butt, she's shaving you too high. Or your butt is really gross.

KillerTomato · #17 Post by **KillerTomato** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:23 pm

I can't believe I'm admitting this, but...

Being the swarthy, Italian/Mediterranean type, I have found that, as I age, the hair migrates from my head to my back. I've always had a rug on my chest, but the back hair thing has gotten worse and worse as the years go on.

Last year, for the first time, I went to have my back waxed. I was getting a massage at the Hard Rock Spa, and wanted to not make my masseuse retch. The front, btw, I clipped short, but didn't shave or wax.

I gotta say, the feeling is quite weird. I'm so used to being able to "feel" with my back hair (I know that sounds odd, but it's true), that when I was smooth back there, it almost felt numb. FTR, I'm getting it done again just before I go on vacation for my birthday in May. I'm also considering getting my head hair clipped way short...but I don't know if I have the cojones to do it.

kayrharris · #18 Post by **kayrharris** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:31 pm

It never ceases to amaze me where some of these threads go.

Never a dull moment around this place.

I think I might like you in short hair, Mikey. Why don't you try it? It will always grow back.

JBillyGirl · #19 Post by **JBillyGirl** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:07 pm

I'm gonna get various parts waxed in a week and a half before I go to New Zealand, so I can minimize shaving, spare my tendinitis-plagued wrist, and save time. (I'll be sharing a room with my folks for part of the time, so speed will matter.) I tried waxing my own legs one summer, but it was so messy and took so long I never finished. Better to go to a professional. And that can't happen soon enough, as my legs right now would put Sasquatch to shame.

danielh41 · #20 Post by **danielh41** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:28 am

Beebs52 wrote:Brazil. It ain't for wusses.

I, personally, haven't visited, so just sayin'.

I haven't had the jewels waxed yet, but I've thought about it. I can handle the leg and regular bikini waxing just fine, and I do like to be nicely groomed. Being an art model means that my privates aren't that private. But still, that is a really sensitive area...

peacock2121 · #21 Post by **peacock2121** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:35 am

I have looked at the cost of Brazial vs all the other waxing costs. I always say "That ain't enough."

I would perform that task for 3 Xs that much.

Bixby17 · #22 Post by **Bixby17** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:18 am

The idea that some men are shaving their packages is completely odd to me.

Why are we as a society trying to turn mens into childrens and then sexualizing children with Bratz dolls and kiddy thongs.

I think it is hilarious that if you look at the Sexist Men People Magazine, just about all the guys had some sort of face scruffle but have their chests waxed.

That's just odd.

gsabc · #23 Post by **gsabc** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:20 am

Bixby17 wrote:The idea that some men are shaving their packages is completely odd to me.

Why are we as a society trying to turn mens into childrens and then sexualizing children with Bratz dolls and kiddy thongs.

I think it is hilarious that if you look at the Sexist Men People Magazine, just about all the guys had some sort of face scruffle but have their chests waxed.

That's just odd.

Sorry, just take me as I am. If you think I'm a walking carpet, so be it.

I don't like you, either.

ulysses5019 · #24 Post by **ulysses5019** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:44 am

Ooooh, a thread about shaving men's (and women's) bodies......I've shaved a man's body, alas, no women have taken me up on this special skill.....well, maybe it's because I specialized on men's backs.......

......Ok, my friends were on the swim team and they always shave their bodies before the PAC-10s or NCAAs. I've seen more bloody shins than I care to think about. Oh, and the women would let their leg hair grow during the season until the big meets. There was some serious sasquatch action on the pool deck.

mellytu74 · #25 Post by **mellytu74** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:50 am

Despite poor Dan's pain, this thread is making me laugh.

WWTBAM Bored

I just butchered myself...

I just butchered myself...

Re: I just butchered myself...