THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
'Cuzz the cat had pounced on him
And tore him apart -
Ate his mouse intestines
And chewed up his heart.
Kitty thought he heard sleighbells,
Which made him take pause -
He stopped daintily licking
The blood from his claws.
"Must be Santa," thought Kitty
(That quite clever cat)
'Cuz nobody else climbs down
The chimney like that.
Indeed it was ol' Santa
So jolly and fat
With a huge load of presents
And all for the cat!
"Wow, the best Christmas ever!"
Kitty thought with a purr,
Then he coughed up a hairball
And shed some more fur!
A Pome for Sybil
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tlynn78
- Posts: 9359
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 9:31 am
- Location: Montana
a classic!
t.
t.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. -Thomas Paine
You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. -Ayn Rand
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. -Ayn Rand
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
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KillerTomato
- Posts: 2067
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 2:41 pm
A message from Sybil (I'm paraphrasing, since all she says is "Meow," and she hasn't learned to type yet):
Please tell my Secret Santa how much I enjoyed the pome, and yesterday's gift of the marinara recipe that I'm not allowed to eat! I'm happy you (meaning me, KT) are able to enjoy my gifts too....the Santa Claws is so thoughtful!
The pome is truly inspired, and I shall spend the next 8 hours contemplating its nuances as I lay on the floor at your (meaning my, KT) feet. It may look like I'm sleeping, but I'm really contemplating, honest.
Following this contemplation, I expect to wake you up by nudging and meowing to inform you (meaning me, KT) of the true meaning of the pome, since you (meaning me, KT) obviously don't have the brainpower to understand said nuances without my (meaning her, Sybil) help. Then, following an hour of nuance-explaining and petting, I shall retire to the bottom of the bed to contemplate for another 6 or 7 hours.
However, even on first reading, I did find it amusing that Santa Claws captured my astounding ability to both clean my paws and shed copious amounts of fur daily. This Claws person knows cats.
Merci, mon Santa! (I've been teaching her to say "Thanks" in various languages. Seems French is her favorite....)
Please tell my Secret Santa how much I enjoyed the pome, and yesterday's gift of the marinara recipe that I'm not allowed to eat! I'm happy you (meaning me, KT) are able to enjoy my gifts too....the Santa Claws is so thoughtful!
The pome is truly inspired, and I shall spend the next 8 hours contemplating its nuances as I lay on the floor at your (meaning my, KT) feet. It may look like I'm sleeping, but I'm really contemplating, honest.
Following this contemplation, I expect to wake you up by nudging and meowing to inform you (meaning me, KT) of the true meaning of the pome, since you (meaning me, KT) obviously don't have the brainpower to understand said nuances without my (meaning her, Sybil) help. Then, following an hour of nuance-explaining and petting, I shall retire to the bottom of the bed to contemplate for another 6 or 7 hours.
However, even on first reading, I did find it amusing that Santa Claws captured my astounding ability to both clean my paws and shed copious amounts of fur daily. This Claws person knows cats.
Merci, mon Santa! (I've been teaching her to say "Thanks" in various languages. Seems French is her favorite....)
There is something wrong in a government where they who do the most have the least. There is something wrong when honesty wears a rag, and rascality a robe; when the loving, the tender, eat a crust while the infamous sit at banquets.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll
-- Robert G. Ingersoll