Priestly Retirement

[wintergreen48]

Father O'Malley was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so Father O'Malley decided to say a few words of his own while they waited:

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave drugs to his sister. I was appalled.

'But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that, and that I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'

Just as Father O'Malley finished speaking, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk:

'I'll never forget the day Father O'Malley arrived,' he said, 'in fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

Moral: Never, Never, Never Be Late.

[ulysses5019]

Father O'Malley was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so Father O'Malley decided to say a few words of his own while they waited:

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave drugs to his sister. I was appalled.

'But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that, and that I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'

Just as Father O'Malley finished speaking, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk:

'I'll never forget the day Father O'Malley arrived,' he said, 'in fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

Moral: Never, Never, Never Be Late.

Here are more details about that unfaithful politician:

1. Box Donation

A politician went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The politician said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'

The politician left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The politician replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'