WWTBAM & Regis Return To ABC This Summer -- Maybe

[BigDrawMan]

i intuit they will use an essay contest to choose sontestants.Something like -in 100 words or less say why you are entitled to abc's money and how much money you deserve to win.
i think kazoo would win

[Deaf Mini]

i intuit they will use an essay contest to choose sontestants.Something like -in 100 words or less say why you are entitled to abc's money and how much money you deserve to win.
i think kazoo would win

I would root for her to win.

[Jeemie]

What the hell is ontopicosity?

[littlebeast13]

What the hell is ontopicosity?

It's a Fannyism....

lb13

[Jeemie]

Cons:
- If this were to happen, would they be discarding Syndicated Millionaire? What if Meredith really likes hosting the show? To me, she's been an enjoyable host (Plus, I'm actually kind of related to her, so there you go).

Since they are only talking about bringing BAM back as an "event", I doubt this would affect syndi-BAM in the slightest.

[Jeemie]

What the hell is ontopicosity?

It's a Fannyism....

lb13

That doesn't help.

I missed the thread. Link?

[littlebeast13]

What the hell is ontopicosity?

It's a Fannyism....

lb13

That doesn't help.

I missed the thread. Link?

It's basically an homage to Marley's attempt to keep the majority of his posts on topic.....

lb13

[Jeemie]

It's a Fannyism....

lb13

That doesn't help.

I missed the thread. Link?

It's basically an homage to Marley's attempt to keep the majority of his posts on topic.....

lb13

Oh damn!

Difference between reading and speaking.

[MarleysGh0st]

It's a Fannyism....

lb13

That doesn't help.

I missed the thread. Link?

It's basically an homage to Marley's attempt to keep the majority of his posts on topic.....

lb13

And would you believe that the first time I saw that word in Fanny's signature, I read it as onto-picosity (instead of on-topic-osity) and tried to figure out if it was a real scientific term?

[Jeemie]

And would you believe that the first time I saw that word in Fanny's signature, I read it as onto-picosity (instead of on-topic-osity) and tried to figure out if it was a real scientific term?

You were meant to.

[earendel]

That doesn't help.

I missed the thread. Link?

It's basically an homage to Marley's attempt to keep the majority of his posts on topic.....

lb13

And would you believe that the first time I saw that word in Fanny's signature, I read it as onto-picosity (instead of on-topic-osity) and tried to figure out if it was a real scientific term?

That's how I always read it ("onto-picosity").

[TheCalvinator24]

It's basically an homage to Marley's attempt to keep the majority of his posts on topic.....

lb13

And would you believe that the first time I saw that word in Fanny's signature, I read it as onto-picosity (instead of on-topic-osity) and tried to figure out if it was a real scientific term?

That's how I always read it ("onto-picosity").

Ditto. Even after I figured out what it really was.

[Bob Juch]

It's basically an homage to Marley's attempt to keep the majority of his posts on topic.....

lb13

And would you believe that the first time I saw that word in Fanny's signature, I read it as onto-picosity (instead of on-topic-osity) and tried to figure out if it was a real scientific term?

That's how I always read it ("onto-picosity").

That's getting very small.

[bazodee]

This is a bad example of internet journalism, but Yahoo! movies wrote a story about Slumdog Millionaire trying to explain its success. In the article, they definitively state that WWTBAM will be returning this summer. Personally, I think they just picked up on article we all read yesterday and decided to turn speculation into fact. Read for yourselves:

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/slumdog ... -blog.html

[owenziligation]

Thanks for your welcome, guys. And to ulysses, by "crazed dancing people who won $100,000", I didn't mean that all the $100,000 winners were dancing. I meant I was gonna miss the really energetic, ecstatic contestants who won big (Like Roseann Avolio in 2006, who won 100 Grand). But it was great seeing all the BB's who were on the show, too.

[owenziligation]

Cons:
- If this were to happen, would they be discarding Syndicated Millionaire? What if Meredith really likes hosting the show? To me, she's been an enjoyable host (Plus, I'm actually kind of related to her, so there you go).

Since they are only talking about bringing BAM back as an "event", I doubt this would affect syndi-BAM in the slightest.

Okay, thanks.

[Spokesman for MBFFB]

Thanks for your welcome, guys. And to ulysses, by "crazed dancing people who won $100,000", I didn't mean that all the $100,000 winners were dancing. I meant I was gonna miss the really energetic, ecstatic contestants who won big (Like Roseann Avolio in 2006, who won 100 Grand). But it was great seeing all the BB's who were on the show, too.

Oh..... dear..... sweet...... Lord!


From MBFFB®'s archive:


-----------------------

2/28/06


Roseann Avolio
Clifton, NJ
Full-time mom

Lively contestant!
comes in doing the "Millionaire dance"

Look... anyone who knows fulls well that they're being recorded for a national broadcast, and doesn't need Mere's prompting to dance or sing like someone who's eaten too many paint chips, under no circumstances should ever be allowed on a trivia show like this. I don't even know why I continue to call this a trivia show. Regis would be rolling over in his grave now if he were to actually watch this garbage and succumb to a heart attack.

$100- In the cable TV network abbreviation CNN, the first "N" stands for what?
A. News B. Nashville
C. Nature D. Nothin'-Else-On

$200- Which of these people are informally referred to as "the feds"?
A. Professional athletes B. Government agents
C. Newspaper reporters D. College students

$300- In 2003, what company held an online poll asking whether it should retire the color "burnt sienna"?
A. Hostess B. Mattel
C. Hershey's D. Crayola

Roseann cackles loudly between each question

You know who else used to cackle? The Wicked Witch of the West. Coincidence? I don't think so.

$500- Fashionable in the U.S. military, a "high and tight" is a type of what hairstyle?
A. Crew cut B. Mop top
C. Pompadour D. Afro

$1000- Which of these sports requires you to wear rigid boots that prevent your ankles from twisting?
A. Surfing B. Mountain hiking
C. Downhill skiing D. Skateboarding

Well, we learned on a previous question that surfers in Australila wear boots, so we can't just eliminate surfing on the basis of them not wearing boots.

"We have one happy contestant in the hot seat"

Commercial In NYC, first ad for All-Bran cereal has jingle 'if you're happy and you know it clap your hands'

This contestant could probably use a lot of bran.... enough to where she'd never make it out of the bathroom. She can cackle all she wants in there away from all other human contact...

Roseann talks about the haircut she got two days ago for her birthday. It was from a gift certificate she received two years ago. Roseann's son is 5 and a half years old and he wanted her to say hi to him on the show.

I'm sure in the clutter of old newspapers I don't throw away, I still have coupons from several years ago. In fact, I have one right here for a free McDLT sandwich from McDonalds, but I doubt they'll honor it. You must have threatened that hair stylist into honoring that old worthless gift certificate by refusing to leave and quit cackling.... thereby disrupting their business for years to come.

Your son has probably taken this opportunity to run off with the circus, and I don't think they have televisions in those gypsy caravans....

$2000- Famously sampled by the mischievous Goldilocks, porridge is commonly made by boiling which of the following?
A. Cabbage B. Beef
C. Eggs D. Oats

If the three bears had shown back up and she started cackling.... Goldilocks would have been in the next batch of porridge.

$4000- Commonly used in the South, the word "y'all" usually functions as what part of speech?
A. Adverb B. Pronoun
C. Conjunction D Preposition

Roseann snaps her fingers as the question is read. "Some of the best people in the world say y'all" including a friend of hers named Danielle

GET THIS FRIGGIN' BROAD OFF OF MY SHOW!!!!!


$8000- In October of 2005, what famous mom revealed that she does not let her kids watch TV, read magazines or eat ice cream?
A. Madonna B. Rosie O'Donnell
C. Demi Moore D. Nicole Kidman

Encyclopedias! That's all kids need is more encyclopedias! Of course, we know the only reason Madonna doesn't want her kids to watch TV or read magazines in they might find out what a friggin' slut their mother really is....

"I heard this because it was so ironic that someone who would have a book about sex and be so free... would not let her kids watch TV"

Maybe it's to protect them from seeing YOU, Roseann! If I were under the age of 13, and I turned on the TV to see you sitting there cackling, snapping your fingers, and doing the "Millionaire dance", I'd have ran in my room and hid under the bed for a month.



3/1/06 (Carryover)

Meredith loves her eruptive enthusiasm. She says that Roseanne was in the audience, and she knew they had to have her as a contestant because she was having such a great time.

At my last family reunion, Uncle Carl, who definitely did not inherit the superior cerebral capacity I am so blessed with, got really drunk about halfway through the reunion. I guess that happens when you you're reaching in the beer cooler every ten minutes. Anyway, Carl starts getting really loud and unruly... laughing and carrying on. Even making passes at a few of my cousins. Needless to say, Carl was having more fun than anyone else at that reunion from hell... and not only did we NOT believe that we just had to have Carl over for the Christmas party... nobody in the family has EVER invited Uncle Carl to any other family function since... including his own mother.

I rarely just waste my breath talking for no reason, Roseanne, there's a parallel here. See, you Rosey, are my Uncle Carl, except only slightly less annoying since I don't remember Carl getting drunk enough to start cackling. The overwhelming majority of the world with IQ's higher than their age would not view your behavior as outgoing, but would view it as absolutely friggin' insane, and would want to keep their distance from you, even at the cost of a restraining order. Of course, we're not dealing with the brightest minds in the world of television arts and sciences here... they eat your act up. If I hadn't purged Uncle Carl's phone number from my big, fat, fabulous telephone directory in my head, I'd probably tell him he needs to audition.

Roseanne says that the warmup comedian was so funny and was tossing T-shirts into the audience, and top row audience members were diving trying to get them,

Wait a minute. How many people were killed attempting to dive for T-shirts in the filming of this show? How many more will have to die before that warm-up dumbass decides to just pass them out to everyone?

so she started bantering with the comedian not to toss her a T-shirt, give them to the people who are diving for them. She said that her friend KNEW they would call her for something. And here you are! Meredith exclaims. WooHoo! Roseanne exclaims.

I really, really hope this wasn't a hideous extension of Walk In and Win Week. How many times has Marley been to see this show taped, and has never thought to act like some Ritalin deprived little imp to expedite the call to the Seat? Life is just so unfair sometimes....

She has all three lifelines remaining, plus STQ if she gets that far.

Even the transcriptionist can't help but take a poke at this hideous buffoon.

$16,000 What element's chemical symbol comes from the Latin word "natrium"?

A. Silver B. Tin
C. Iron D. Sodium

She goes through the symbols for silver and iron but doesn't know tin, but she does know the symbol and chemical name for salt.

Good to see that you're familiar with other elements out there besides lead. Like a little salt on your paint chips, do you?

$25,000 Before Alaska and Hawaii were admitted in 1959, what was the last state to enter the union?

A. Montana B. Arizona
C. New Mexico D. Utah

How many more times is this question gonna be recycled?

She had an answer before the choices came up, but seeing the choices makes her think twice. She wonders if she should waste a lifeline. She finally confidently states her answer without using a lifeline.

Sorry, but I'll suffer through five WE/WE's who would have burned all their lifelines up before they ever got to this super-stumper before I'd want to see you cackle your way through the stack nihil obstat. Confidence is great, but overconfidence is nothing more than recklessness... and it's pretty recklessness to unapoligetically flaunt your loony behavior on an unwitting public.


Meredith says hello to Roseanne's husband, who is sitting in the companion seat. If any of y'all heard the name, you're welcome to make that correction. Meredith says that he's bringing her good luck.

You'd have probably heard it were it not for that damn cackling and snorting. He may be bringing her good luck, but she's bringing this poor sucker nothing but bad luck, because when his friends and coworkers see this air, he'll turn into persona non grata outside of that insane asylum of a home these two lovedodos share.

$50,000 What starring television role did Bing Crosby turn down, reportedly because it would interfere with his golf?

A. Marcus Welby B. Columbo
C. Barnaby Jones D. Cannon

As a big, fat, fabulous fountain of Columbo knowledge, I have to humbly admit that I knew this one while our airheaded broad did not have the correct hunch.

Roseanne is leaning toward Baranby Jones; your earnest transcriptionist is leaning toward Marcus Welby. The 50/50 leaves B and D, and that's the end of that.

Unless the transcriptionist is at home cackling away, I will forgive her latching on to the bogus distractor.

ATA: A. 0% B. 55% C. 0% D. 45%
AOL: A. 0% B. 62% D. 0% D. 38%

She goes with the AOL audience because they don't know what she's said.

The AOL audience also doesn't know what kind of a fruitcake you are... nor do you have any clue what kind of meatheads are on the other end of those modems. But given a 50/50 shot, I think even the AOL audience could pick the correct one about 1/10th of the time.

$100,000 In 1939, what two teams played in the first baseball game broadcast on television?

A. Ohio State and Penn State B. Syracuse and Rutgers
C. Princeton and Columbia D. Yale and Harvard

It's about time they pull something really obscure out for Ms. Dingbat here. I'll bet that college baseball game got better ratings in an era where about 4 people owned television sets than this show will get in the aftermath of Hurricane Roseanne...

Your Earnest Transcriptionist is convinced it's C; SteelersFan is convinced it's D. Convinced that this has come up somewhere on the Bored, YET prevails. Roseanne, not having the benefit of the vast knowledge presented on the Bored, also not having anybody on her PAF list who knows sports, decides to STQ.

All Roseanne has the benefit to draw upon are whatever things she saw in those inkblot tests at her shrink, and whatever tidbits of knowledge she picked up in her conversations with the squirrel in her back yard. If, God forbid, she were to ever find this Bored, she'd instantly replace Mark Anthony DiBello as its fruitiest visitor. But boredom may set in when she found there was no emoticon to represent soemone cackling.


$100,000 By definition, eustatic change is a worldwide alteration in what?

A. Ozone levels B. Radioactivity
C. Surface temperature D. Sea level

Roseanne phones Sonya, her friend since first grade and son Gregory's godmother; she is also godmother to Sonya's son.

Do we really need the friggin' family tree here? We already know its infected with Dutch Elm Disease, and anyone who'd WILLINGLY become even a small part of it is someone who should not be allowed in public without a straitjacket...

Meredith asks Sonya if Roseanne is always this excited, and Sonya says it might be up a notch today.

It could be toned down 50 friggin' notches, and she'd STILL be intolerable.

Roseanne spells eustatic change, then reads the question slowly, then reads the answers slowly. Sonya answers confidently, "Sea level." Roseanne whoops "WooHoo Sonya!!" and is still WooHooing when time runs out.

Any self-respecting game show would have a tranquilizer dart gun handy for situations like this. I'd like to think even Peter Tomarken would have picked up the gun by now had Rosey been on Press Your Luck's looney bin for the hyperactive...

She asks for reassurance as to whether Sonya said anything else, and Meredith assures her she did not.

Aside from the fact that everyone in the studio now has tinnitus, not even a dog's supersonic hearing could have picked up anything else you fairy godsister said after you let loose with the glass shattering hysterics. I wonder if my good friend Mere is suddenly wishing for a return to contestants who actually deserve to be contestants?

Roseanne says, "This is surreal." She waxes on a bit about the experience, saying how much she appreciates the warmth and support from the audience.

They're only acting like that because they were taught not to laugh and taunt someone with crippling disabilities such as you. In reality, they're shaking their heads at the sad sight that's being played out before them, and thanking their lucky stars that nobody in their family has the same genetic mutations that have turned your DNA into Swiss cheese.

$250,000 "The Oprah Winfrey Show" made its national debut on September 8, 1986 (Star Trek's birthday!) with an episode about what?

A. Inspirational teachers B. Marrying the right person
C. Loving your body D. Moms who do it all

Too bad it wasn't sideshow freaks like you. You'd have had to tape that one since they'd have never let you near Oprah's studio....

Then ensues a lengthy discussion (with herself) about how much money she has now, what each answer means, the likelihood of each answer being correct or not, that she can narrow it to 50%, and so on. YET did not catch it all. She finally screams, "A hundred thousand dollars!!" and mutters some more discussion.

I did earn my degree in psychology, but that was way back in my teenage years. Still, even Bob Newhart could tell from just these transcripts that we're dealing with someone with serious cranial problems. She rambles, then has a loud outburst come from nowhere, then goes back on to mindless rambling. Her husband is a very brave person for not leaving her side through this terrible ordeal.... very friggin' stupid, but nonetheless, very brave.

She finally says, "I can't risk $100,000," and gets applauded for that remark.

"Thank the dear, sweet Lord!" the audience mutters as it breathes a huge collective sigh of relief, "It looks like she's actually going to go away! The flashbacks and nightmares may recur for several years, but for now, we are spared! Hopefully she'll leave the stage within the next half hour...."

She yells, "I did it!" and says she is walking, final decision.

Yes, you did it alright. You subjected millions of innocent Americans to torture beyond even the capabilities and conscience of al Qaida. You have forever put a dark, indelible stain on one of the greatest television shows of all time. Thankfully, you will now be returning to the cozy padded walls of the nuthouse you share with a family who only wishes they could disown you, and leave behind a nuclear fallout that may get this show put on hiatus for whatever the half-life of Retardium is.

THE HORN!

Most people would think your incessant rambling and cackling ate up the entire half hour. Of course, it's painfully obvious that the rest of the contestants on deck in the green room ran for the hills not wanting to catch whatever illness it is you have.

Well, there you have it. March has officially come in like a dumbass....

Nihil Obstat®

[earendel]

Thanks for your welcome, guys. And to ulysses, by "crazed dancing people who won $100,000", I didn't mean that all the $100,000 winners were dancing. I meant I was gonna miss the really energetic, ecstatic contestants who won big (Like Roseann Avolio in 2006, who won 100 Grand). But it was great seeing all the BB's who were on the show, too.

Oh..... dear..... sweet...... Lord!


From MBFFB®'s archive:


-----------------------

2/28/06


Roseann Avolio
Clifton, NJ
Full-time mom

Lively contestant!
comes in doing the "Millionaire dance"

Look... anyone who knows fulls well that they're being recorded for a national broadcast, and doesn't need Mere's prompting to dance or sing like someone who's eaten too many paint chips, under no circumstances should ever be allowed on a trivia show like this. I don't even know why I continue to call this a trivia show. Regis would be rolling over in his grave now if he were to actually watch this garbage and succumb to a heart attack.

$100- In the cable TV network abbreviation CNN, the first "N" stands for what?
A. News B. Nashville
C. Nature D. Nothin'-Else-On

$200- Which of these people are informally referred to as "the feds"?
A. Professional athletes B. Government agents
C. Newspaper reporters D. College students

$300- In 2003, what company held an online poll asking whether it should retire the color "burnt sienna"?
A. Hostess B. Mattel
C. Hershey's D. Crayola

Roseann cackles loudly between each question

You know who else used to cackle? The Wicked Witch of the West. Coincidence? I don't think so.

$500- Fashionable in the U.S. military, a "high and tight" is a type of what hairstyle?
A. Crew cut B. Mop top
C. Pompadour D. Afro

$1000- Which of these sports requires you to wear rigid boots that prevent your ankles from twisting?
A. Surfing B. Mountain hiking
C. Downhill skiing D. Skateboarding

Well, we learned on a previous question that surfers in Australila wear boots, so we can't just eliminate surfing on the basis of them not wearing boots.

"We have one happy contestant in the hot seat"

Commercial In NYC, first ad for All-Bran cereal has jingle 'if you're happy and you know it clap your hands'

This contestant could probably use a lot of bran.... enough to where she'd never make it out of the bathroom. She can cackle all she wants in there away from all other human contact...

Roseann talks about the haircut she got two days ago for her birthday. It was from a gift certificate she received two years ago. Roseann's son is 5 and a half years old and he wanted her to say hi to him on the show.

I'm sure in the clutter of old newspapers I don't throw away, I still have coupons from several years ago. In fact, I have one right here for a free McDLT sandwich from McDonalds, but I doubt they'll honor it. You must have threatened that hair stylist into honoring that old worthless gift certificate by refusing to leave and quit cackling.... thereby disrupting their business for years to come.

Your son has probably taken this opportunity to run off with the circus, and I don't think they have televisions in those gypsy caravans....

$2000- Famously sampled by the mischievous Goldilocks, porridge is commonly made by boiling which of the following?
A. Cabbage B. Beef
C. Eggs D. Oats

If the three bears had shown back up and she started cackling.... Goldilocks would have been in the next batch of porridge.

$4000- Commonly used in the South, the word "y'all" usually functions as what part of speech?
A. Adverb B. Pronoun
C. Conjunction D Preposition

Roseann snaps her fingers as the question is read. "Some of the best people in the world say y'all" including a friend of hers named Danielle

GET THIS FRIGGIN' BROAD OFF OF MY SHOW!!!!!


$8000- In October of 2005, what famous mom revealed that she does not let her kids watch TV, read magazines or eat ice cream?
A. Madonna B. Rosie O'Donnell
C. Demi Moore D. Nicole Kidman

Encyclopedias! That's all kids need is more encyclopedias! Of course, we know the only reason Madonna doesn't want her kids to watch TV or read magazines in they might find out what a friggin' slut their mother really is....

"I heard this because it was so ironic that someone who would have a book about sex and be so free... would not let her kids watch TV"

Maybe it's to protect them from seeing YOU, Roseann! If I were under the age of 13, and I turned on the TV to see you sitting there cackling, snapping your fingers, and doing the "Millionaire dance", I'd have ran in my room and hid under the bed for a month.



3/1/06 (Carryover)

Meredith loves her eruptive enthusiasm. She says that Roseanne was in the audience, and she knew they had to have her as a contestant because she was having such a great time.

At my last family reunion, Uncle Carl, who definitely did not inherit the superior cerebral capacity I am so blessed with, got really drunk about halfway through the reunion. I guess that happens when you you're reaching in the beer cooler every ten minutes. Anyway, Carl starts getting really loud and unruly... laughing and carrying on. Even making passes at a few of my cousins. Needless to say, Carl was having more fun than anyone else at that reunion from hell... and not only did we NOT believe that we just had to have Carl over for the Christmas party... nobody in the family has EVER invited Uncle Carl to any other family function since... including his own mother.

I rarely just waste my breath talking for no reason, Roseanne, there's a parallel here. See, you Rosey, are my Uncle Carl, except only slightly less annoying since I don't remember Carl getting drunk enough to start cackling. The overwhelming majority of the world with IQ's higher than their age would not view your behavior as outgoing, but would view it as absolutely friggin' insane, and would want to keep their distance from you, even at the cost of a restraining order. Of course, we're not dealing with the brightest minds in the world of television arts and sciences here... they eat your act up. If I hadn't purged Uncle Carl's phone number from my big, fat, fabulous telephone directory in my head, I'd probably tell him he needs to audition.

Roseanne says that the warmup comedian was so funny and was tossing T-shirts into the audience, and top row audience members were diving trying to get them,

Wait a minute. How many people were killed attempting to dive for T-shirts in the filming of this show? How many more will have to die before that warm-up dumbass decides to just pass them out to everyone?

so she started bantering with the comedian not to toss her a T-shirt, give them to the people who are diving for them. She said that her friend KNEW they would call her for something. And here you are! Meredith exclaims. WooHoo! Roseanne exclaims.

I really, really hope this wasn't a hideous extension of Walk In and Win Week. How many times has Marley been to see this show taped, and has never thought to act like some Ritalin deprived little imp to expedite the call to the Seat? Life is just so unfair sometimes....

She has all three lifelines remaining, plus STQ if she gets that far.

Even the transcriptionist can't help but take a poke at this hideous buffoon.

$16,000 What element's chemical symbol comes from the Latin word "natrium"?

A. Silver B. Tin
C. Iron D. Sodium

She goes through the symbols for silver and iron but doesn't know tin, but she does know the symbol and chemical name for salt.

Good to see that you're familiar with other elements out there besides lead. Like a little salt on your paint chips, do you?

$25,000 Before Alaska and Hawaii were admitted in 1959, what was the last state to enter the union?

A. Montana B. Arizona
C. New Mexico D. Utah

How many more times is this question gonna be recycled?

She had an answer before the choices came up, but seeing the choices makes her think twice. She wonders if she should waste a lifeline. She finally confidently states her answer without using a lifeline.

Sorry, but I'll suffer through five WE/WE's who would have burned all their lifelines up before they ever got to this super-stumper before I'd want to see you cackle your way through the stack nihil obstat. Confidence is great, but overconfidence is nothing more than recklessness... and it's pretty recklessness to unapoligetically flaunt your loony behavior on an unwitting public.


Meredith says hello to Roseanne's husband, who is sitting in the companion seat. If any of y'all heard the name, you're welcome to make that correction. Meredith says that he's bringing her good luck.

You'd have probably heard it were it not for that damn cackling and snorting. He may be bringing her good luck, but she's bringing this poor sucker nothing but bad luck, because when his friends and coworkers see this air, he'll turn into persona non grata outside of that insane asylum of a home these two lovedodos share.

$50,000 What starring television role did Bing Crosby turn down, reportedly because it would interfere with his golf?

A. Marcus Welby B. Columbo
C. Barnaby Jones D. Cannon

As a big, fat, fabulous fountain of Columbo knowledge, I have to humbly admit that I knew this one while our airheaded broad did not have the correct hunch.

Roseanne is leaning toward Baranby Jones; your earnest transcriptionist is leaning toward Marcus Welby. The 50/50 leaves B and D, and that's the end of that.

Unless the transcriptionist is at home cackling away, I will forgive her latching on to the bogus distractor.

ATA: A. 0% B. 55% C. 0% D. 45%
AOL: A. 0% B. 62% D. 0% D. 38%

She goes with the AOL audience because they don't know what she's said.

The AOL audience also doesn't know what kind of a fruitcake you are... nor do you have any clue what kind of meatheads are on the other end of those modems. But given a 50/50 shot, I think even the AOL audience could pick the correct one about 1/10th of the time.

$100,000 In 1939, what two teams played in the first baseball game broadcast on television?

A. Ohio State and Penn State B. Syracuse and Rutgers
C. Princeton and Columbia D. Yale and Harvard

It's about time they pull something really obscure out for Ms. Dingbat here. I'll bet that college baseball game got better ratings in an era where about 4 people owned television sets than this show will get in the aftermath of Hurricane Roseanne...

Your Earnest Transcriptionist is convinced it's C; SteelersFan is convinced it's D. Convinced that this has come up somewhere on the Bored, YET prevails. Roseanne, not having the benefit of the vast knowledge presented on the Bored, also not having anybody on her PAF list who knows sports, decides to STQ.

All Roseanne has the benefit to draw upon are whatever things she saw in those inkblot tests at her shrink, and whatever tidbits of knowledge she picked up in her conversations with the squirrel in her back yard. If, God forbid, she were to ever find this Bored, she'd instantly replace Mark Anthony DiBello as its fruitiest visitor. But boredom may set in when she found there was no emoticon to represent soemone cackling.


$100,000 By definition, eustatic change is a worldwide alteration in what?

A. Ozone levels B. Radioactivity
C. Surface temperature D. Sea level

Roseanne phones Sonya, her friend since first grade and son Gregory's godmother; she is also godmother to Sonya's son.

Do we really need the friggin' family tree here? We already know its infected with Dutch Elm Disease, and anyone who'd WILLINGLY become even a small part of it is someone who should not be allowed in public without a straitjacket...

Meredith asks Sonya if Roseanne is always this excited, and Sonya says it might be up a notch today.

It could be toned down 50 friggin' notches, and she'd STILL be intolerable.

Roseanne spells eustatic change, then reads the question slowly, then reads the answers slowly. Sonya answers confidently, "Sea level." Roseanne whoops "WooHoo Sonya!!" and is still WooHooing when time runs out.

Any self-respecting game show would have a tranquilizer dart gun handy for situations like this. I'd like to think even Peter Tomarken would have picked up the gun by now had Rosey been on Press Your Luck's looney bin for the hyperactive...

She asks for reassurance as to whether Sonya said anything else, and Meredith assures her she did not.

Aside from the fact that everyone in the studio now has tinnitus, not even a dog's supersonic hearing could have picked up anything else you fairy godsister said after you let loose with the glass shattering hysterics. I wonder if my good friend Mere is suddenly wishing for a return to contestants who actually deserve to be contestants?

Roseanne says, "This is surreal." She waxes on a bit about the experience, saying how much she appreciates the warmth and support from the audience.

They're only acting like that because they were taught not to laugh and taunt someone with crippling disabilities such as you. In reality, they're shaking their heads at the sad sight that's being played out before them, and thanking their lucky stars that nobody in their family has the same genetic mutations that have turned your DNA into Swiss cheese.

$250,000 "The Oprah Winfrey Show" made its national debut on September 8, 1986 (Star Trek's birthday!) with an episode about what?

A. Inspirational teachers B. Marrying the right person
C. Loving your body D. Moms who do it all

Too bad it wasn't sideshow freaks like you. You'd have had to tape that one since they'd have never let you near Oprah's studio....

Then ensues a lengthy discussion (with herself) about how much money she has now, what each answer means, the likelihood of each answer being correct or not, that she can narrow it to 50%, and so on. YET did not catch it all. She finally screams, "A hundred thousand dollars!!" and mutters some more discussion.

I did earn my degree in psychology, but that was way back in my teenage years. Still, even Bob Newhart could tell from just these transcripts that we're dealing with someone with serious cranial problems. She rambles, then has a loud outburst come from nowhere, then goes back on to mindless rambling. Her husband is a very brave person for not leaving her side through this terrible ordeal.... very friggin' stupid, but nonetheless, very brave.

She finally says, "I can't risk $100,000," and gets applauded for that remark.

"Thank the dear, sweet Lord!" the audience mutters as it breathes a huge collective sigh of relief, "It looks like she's actually going to go away! The flashbacks and nightmares may recur for several years, but for now, we are spared! Hopefully she'll leave the stage within the next half hour...."

She yells, "I did it!" and says she is walking, final decision.

Yes, you did it alright. You subjected millions of innocent Americans to torture beyond even the capabilities and conscience of al Qaida. You have forever put a dark, indelible stain on one of the greatest television shows of all time. Thankfully, you will now be returning to the cozy padded walls of the nuthouse you share with a family who only wishes they could disown you, and leave behind a nuclear fallout that may get this show put on hiatus for whatever the half-life of Retardium is.

THE HORN!

Most people would think your incessant rambling and cackling ate up the entire half hour. Of course, it's painfully obvious that the rest of the contestants on deck in the green room ran for the hills not wanting to catch whatever illness it is you have.

Well, there you have it. March has officially come in like a dumbass....

Nihil Obstat®

MBFFB was in rare form on this one.

[MarleysGh0st]

Roseanne says that the warmup comedian was so funny and was tossing T-shirts into the audience, and top row audience members were diving trying to get them,

Wait a minute. How many people were killed attempting to dive for T-shirts in the filming of this show? How many more will have to die before that warm-up dumbass decides to just pass them out to everyone?

Sadly, TPTB have remained stingy with the T-shirts since this report. There used to be times when everyone would get a shirt. Heck, at clem's taping, we didn't even get a Millionaire pencil! They handed out generic pencils for the audition test, which they took back, afterwards.




We did get a refrigerator magnet.

[BigDrawMan]

i think i saw rosey on deal/no deal

[earendel]

i think i saw rosey on deal/no deal

Which suitcase model was she?

[dodgersteve182]

Amazing if it happens, but with all things Millionaire, I'm not getting any hopes up.

[Brit Canuck]

Interesting that the article mentions "Million Dollar Password" as a sure thing for Regis, especially since, despite overall household ratings that other networks would sell their biggest stars for, CBS has pulled that show (not cancelled it - yet), because the ratings in the 18-49 "Advertisers' Demographic", the one that network bigwigs always turn doe-eyed over, are lagging. Obviously, money is a bigger priority for them than viewer loyalty right now.

http://buzzerblog.flashgameshows.com/mi ... ss-lineup/

If you ask me, Regis could probably use the "Millionaire" gig come August.
Doesn't sound like he's getting much respect from The Eye right now.

[gsabc]

If you ask me, Regis could probably use the "Millionaire" gig come August.
Doesn't sound like he's getting much respect from The Eye right now.

Of course not. He's not in the desired demographic and obviously isn't watching his own show.

[traininvain]

Just seeing this now, I would love to hear old Fred & Marble Mouth again, otherwise I'd tell them that I want to purchase Chrysler with my winnings or I could just buy Jeep separately.