P J O'Rourke on the failed Obama Presidency

[themanintheseersuckersuit]

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/P ... v.asp?pg=1

Is it too soon to talk about the failed Obama presidency just because Obama isn't president yet? That depends upon how quickly Barack Obama is able to apply the lessons he's learned from Management Secrets of the Illinois Governors. So far he's not doing very well. He has allowed America's current number one jackleg, crackpot, smut-mouth, slime-licking politician to give the Obama Senate seat to a lovable old African-American doofus whom no one has the heart to execrate. Roland Burris will be the kind of ornament to this year's Senate that the broken plastic Rudolph with its antlers missing was to last year's Christmas tree.

There's already a huge ongoing government intervention in the economy. Bringing the government in to run Wall Street is like saying, "Dad burned dinner, let's get the dog to cook." Now the government's going to take over the auto industry. I can predict the result--a light-weight, compact, sustainable vehicle using alternative energy. When I was a kid we called it a Schwinn. And next in line for political therapy is health care. Voting will cure what ails you. Go to the doctor when you've got cancer, and he'll say, "Don't worry. Everything will be fine. I'm going to treat your disease by going inside this small, curtained booth and putting an 'X' next to a very special name."

I remain more hopeful than Mr. O'Rourke, but he remains funnier than me.

[Sir_Galahad]

Voting will cure what ails you.

I tried that - didn't work. When I walked into the voting booth I was almost overcome by this blue haze (no, it wasn't purple) and I could swear I heard the faint sound of a chorus but I managed, somehow to keep my wits about me. As I was about to push the button for my candidate of choice I felt a strange sensation pulling my hand to the Obama button but I resisted. Unfortunately, about 52 million people weren't as lucky as I was to have escaped.

[minimetoo26]

PJ's hilarious. Your team needs more funny dudes, so I won't try to recruit him...

[Tocqueville3]

PJ's hilarious. Your team needs more funny dudes, so I won't try to recruit him...

We have lots of funny dudes.

It's tragic, though, that all the really funny ones from your side have gotten bitter and just plain unfunny.

I speak of the following peeps:

Rosie O'Donnell
Al Franken
Bill Maher
Janeane Garofalo

[minimetoo26]

I can't say I've ever watched or listened to the other three, so I don't know if they've ever been funny, but I'd adopt Bill Maher in a heartbeat if he kept his dope away from my kids. He amuses me.

[VAdame]

Al Franken

Oh, c'mon now -- he's good enough, he's smart enough, and doggone it -- just enough people in Minnesota like him!

[minimetoo26]

Al Franken

Oh, c'mon now -- he's good enough, he's smart enough, and doggone it -- just enough people in Minnesota like him!

Even more than the ones who liked Lizard People!

I was looking over some of those challenged ballots. Good Lord. I'm almost ready to say you should have to pass a test to vote, like for a driver's license. Stoooooooooooopid people can really screw up a ballot!

[ulysses5019]

Al Franken

Oh, c'mon now -- he's good enough, he's smart enough, and doggone it -- just enough people in Minnesota like him!

Even more than the ones who liked Lizard People!

I was looking over some of those challenged ballots. Good Lord. I'm almost ready to say you should have to pass a test to vote, like for a driver's license. Stoooooooooooopid people can really screw up a ballot!

I think they write some of the questions for sploofus.

[nitrah55]

Al Franken

Oh, c'mon now -- he's good enough, he's smart enough, and doggone it -- just enough people in Minnesota like him!

Now that he's a senator, Al's only allowed to be unitentionally funny.

[BigDrawMan]

i love pj, though i havent read him in many years

i wonder how many times he voted for bush

[minimetoo26]

i love pj, though i havent read him in many years

i wonder how many times he voted for bush

I'm sure twice. He kept the humorists in gravy for a full 8 years! Obama's gonna be a tough one. He'll just have to surround himself with jackasses, which certainly won't be difficult...