Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
new element discovered
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ulysses5019
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new element discovered
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.
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PlacentiaSoccerMom
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Re: new element discovered
I love your avatar.
It looks like Squirrel done by Thomas Kinkade®, Painter of Light®
It looks like Squirrel done by Thomas Kinkade®, Painter of Light®
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Jeemie
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Re: new element discovered
You can overcome the ill effects of this new element by taking a healthy dose of the wonder drug Fukitol (TM).
A much more potent version of the original, Damitol.
A much more potent version of the original, Damitol.
1979 City of Champions 2009
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ulysses5019
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Re: new element discovered
It does?PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:I love your avatar.
It looks like Squirrel done by Thomas Kinkade®, Painter of Light®
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.
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PlacentiaSoccerMom
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Re: new element discovered
Well, not any more!ulysses5019 wrote:It does?PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:I love your avatar.
It looks like Squirrel done by Thomas Kinkade®, Painter of Light®
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Evil Squirrel
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Re: new element discovered
PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:I love your avatar.
It looks like Squirrel done by Thomas Kinkade®, Painter of Light®
I prefer works by Evil Squirrel®, Painter of Squirrel Porn®.....
Squirrels are the architects of forests, the planters of trees, nature's own acrobats and show a zest for life that can inspire us. Every day should be National Squirrel Appreciation Day!
--squirrelmama (10/3/07)
Many of these (squirrel) migrations were probably caused by food shortages as well as habitat overcrowding. We solved that for them. We not only reduced their habitat, we reduced the whole species by about 90%. The least we can do now is share a little birdseed with them.
--Richard E. Mallery
2008 Squirrel of the Year Award winner
--squirrelmama (10/3/07)
Many of these (squirrel) migrations were probably caused by food shortages as well as habitat overcrowding. We solved that for them. We not only reduced their habitat, we reduced the whole species by about 90%. The least we can do now is share a little birdseed with them.
--Richard E. Mallery
2008 Squirrel of the Year Award winner
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Snaxx
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Re: new element discovered
This one has been passed around at work several times.
Sirge posted it as well.
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=10425
Sirge posted it as well.
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=10425
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Sir_Galahad
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Re: new element discovered
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing" - Edmund Burke
Perhaps the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about...
Perhaps the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about...
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ulysses5019
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Re: new element discovered
Sir_Galahad wrote:Hmmm....
Now where have I heard this before.....
Oh, yeah...
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=10425
Oops. My bad. I actually thought it looked familiar but thought it may have been in a Nigerian email.
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.
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ulysses5019
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Re: new element discovered
Evil Squirrel wrote:PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:I love your avatar.
It looks like Squirrel done by Thomas Kinkade®, Painter of Light®
I prefer works by Evil Squirrel®, Painter of Squirrel Porn®.....
Are you working with Francis and Flynt on that "stimulus" package to congress?
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.