The Who's On First

[Director_Of_Promos]

LS Productions presents the comedy team of "Bud" Littlebeast and "Lou" Ulysses in:

The Who's On First

<up curtain>

Littlebeast: Alright, now, Uly, whaddya want?

Ulysses: Now look, I'm gonna play Winter Lyrically Speaking starting January 5th, so I thought I’d head to a concert. I gotta know the names of tonight's bands. Do you know the names of the bands?

Littlebeast: Oh sure.

Ulysses: So you go ahead and tell me their names.

Littlebeast: Now let's see. We have three bands on the main stage tonight - The Who's on first, The Band's on second, Guess Who's on third.

Ulysses: That's what I wanna find out.

Littlebeast: I say The Who's on first, The Band's on second, Guess Who's on third.

Ulysses: You know these band's names?

Littlebeast: Certainly!

Ulysses: Well then who's on first?

Littlebeast: Yup!

Ulysses: I mean the first band's name!

Littlebeast: The Who!

Ulysses: The first band playing tonight!

Littlebeast: The Who!

Ulysses: The first band!

Littlebeast: The Who!

Ulysses: Tonight's first band!

Littlebeast: The Who is playing first!

Ulysses: Now whaddya askin' me for?

Littlebeast: I'm telling you The Who is on stage first.

Ulysses: Well, I'm asking YOU who's on first!

Littlebeast: That's their name.

Ulysses: Who's their name?

Littlebeast: Yup.

Ulysses: Well go ahead and tell me.

Littlebeast: The Who.

Ulysses: The first band playing.

Littlebeast: The Who!

Ulysses: The first band.

Littlebeast: The Who is on stage first!

Ulysses: Have you got a contract with the first band?

Littlebeast: Absolutely.

Ulysses: Who signs the contract?

Littlebeast: Well, naturally!

Ulysses: When you pay off the first band after the show, who gets the money?

Littlebeast: Every dollar. Why not? They are a great band and they’re entitled to it.

Ulysses: Who is?

Littlebeast: Yes. Sometimes their manager comes down and collects it.

Ulysses: Who's manager?

Littlebeast: Yup.

Ulysses: All I'm tryin' to find out is what's the band's name on stage first.

Littlebeast: Oh, no - wait a minute, don't switch 'em around. The Band is on second.

Ulysses: I'm not askin' you who's on second.

Littlebeast: The Who is on first.

Ulysses: I can't even guess who.

Littlebeast: They are on third - now we're not talkin' 'bout them.

Ulysses: Now, how did I get on the third band?

Littlebeast: You mentioned their name!

Ulysses: If I mentioned the third band's name, who did I say is playing third?

Littlebeast: No - The Who's playing first.

Ulysses: Never mind first - I wanna know what's the band's name on third.

Littlebeast: No - The Band's on second.

Ulysses: I'm not askin' you who's on second.

Littlebeast: The Who's on first.

Ulysses: I can't even guess who.

Littlebeast: They are on third.

Ulysses: Aaah! Would you please stay on the third band and don't go off of them?

Littlebeast: What was it you wanted?

Ulysses: What's the band's name that’ll take the stage third?

Littlebeast: The Band's on second.

Ulysses: I'm not askin' you who's on second.

Littlebeast: The Who's on first.

Ulysses: I can't even guess who.

Littlebeast & Ulysses: THIRD BAND!

Ulysses: You got a band playing later on stage 2?

Littlebeast: No Doubt!

Ulysses: I don't doubt it, I just thought I'd ask you.

Littlebeast: Well, I just thought I'd tell you. No Doubt.

Ulysses: Alright, then tell me who's playing later on stage 2.

Littlebeast: The Who is playing fir-

Ulysses: STAY OFF THE MAIN STAGE. I wanna know what's the band that is playing later on stage 2.

Littlebeast: The Band's on second - Main stage.

Ulysses: I'm not askin' you who's on second.

Littlebeast: The Who's on first.

Ulysses: I can't even guess who.

Littlebeast & Ulysses: THIRD BAND!

Ulysses: Look, you say you got a third band coming up after the first two, right?

Littlebeast: We promised you three bands on the Main Stage and they'll all be there.

Ulysses: The third band's name?

Littlebeast: Guess Who.

Ulysses: I don't wanna guess, I want you to tell me now?

Littlebeast: I'm tellin' you now.

Ulysses: Then go ahead.

Littlebeast: Guess Who.

Ulysses: I don't wanna guess, I want you to tell me who's the third band?

Littlebeast: Now listen. The Who is not the third band. The Who is on fir-

Ulysses: I'll break your arm if you say Who's on first. I wanna know what's the band's name playing third.

Littlebeast: The Band's on second.

Ulysses: I'm not askin' you who's on second.

Littlebeast: The Who's on first.

Ulysses: I can't even guess who.

Littlebeast & Ulysses: THIRD BAND!

Ulysses: Well, I'm a big fan of rock music.

Littlebeast: I know that.

Ulysses: Now suppose that I finish watching the concert and I want to meet the musicians.

Littlebeast: Yes.

Ulysses: I go back stage and wait for who to show up?

Littlebeast: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Ulysses: I don't even know what I'm talkin' about!

Littlebeast: Well, that's all you have to do.

Ulysses: Is wait for who.

Littlebeast: Yes.

Ulysses: And I'll get to meet who?

Littlebeast: Naturally!

Ulysses: Who will meet me?

Littlebeast: Naturally.

Ulysses: Who?

Littlebeast: Naturally!

Ulysses: Naturally.

Littlebeast: Yes.

Ulysses: So I come back stage and I meet Naturally.

Littlebeast: NO, NO, NO! You come back stage and meet The Who?

Ulysses: Naturally.

Littlebeast: That's right. There we go.

Ulysses: So I come back stage and meet Naturally.

Littlebeast: You don't!

Ulysses: I meet who?

Littlebeast: Naturally.

Ulysses: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!

Littlebeast: You're not saying it that way.

Ulysses: I said I get to meet Naturally.

Littlebeast: You don't - you get to meet The Who?

Ulysses: Naturally!

Littlebeast: Well, say that!

Ulysses: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING! I get to meet who?

Littlebeast: Naturally.

Ulysses: Ask me.

Littlebeast: You get to meet The Who?

Ulysses: Naturally.

Littlebeast: That's it.

Ulysses: SAME AS YOU!! I go back stage and meet who?

Littlebeast: Naturally!

Ulysses: Who is there?

Littlebeast: Naturally!

Ulysses: THEY BETTER BE THERE! If wait around a little longer I'll get to meet the band and if I stick around until after the third show, guess who's going to show up.

Littlebeast: That’s right.

Ulysses: I bring a friend along. I tell him he can come and meet the band. Who? I can't even guess who. Third band! And frankly I think this is garbage.

Littlebeast: What was that?

Ulysses: I said I think this is garbage.

Littlebeast: Oh, that's next week's concert.

<down curtain>

[VAdame]

You forgot Yes & Them (Van Morrison's band!)

[Jefferson Starplane]

Hey! Nobody invited us to play at the concert! And we had a bunch of cool band names....

[SportsFan68]

Brilliant!

[ulysses5019]

I'm pretty sure I was misquoted someplace in there.

[KillerTomato]

Bloody brilliant.

[gsabc]

I think it was SNL that had a similar routine early in their history. Two folks advertising a monster concert with The Who, The Guess Who and Yes.

[VAdame]

I think it was SNL that had a similar routine early in their history. Two folks advertising a monster concert with The Who, The Guess Who and Yes.

Yeah, that's the one I was thinking of!

I think I used to hear it on the radio (Dr. Demento, maybe??) Was it SNL, or somebody else?

I'm almost sure the bit also included "Them" (the Van Morrison version ) But I could be misremembering.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Them_(band)

[Rexer25]

I think it was SNL that had a similar routine early in their history. Two folks advertising a monster concert with The Who, The Guess Who and Yes.

Yeah, that's the one I was thinking of!

I think I used to hear it on the radio (Dr. Demento, maybe??) Was it SNL, or somebody else?

I'm almost sure the bit also included "Them" (the Van Morrison version ) But I could be misremembering.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Them_(band)

I remember a version on Eight is Enough with Tom Sr. and Nicholas doing the bit for a charity talent show.

[vettech]

I think it was SNL that had a similar routine early in their history. Two folks advertising a monster concert with The Who, The Guess Who and Yes.

Yeah, that's the one I was thinking of!

I think I used to hear it on the radio (Dr. Demento, maybe??) Was it SNL, or somebody else?

I'm almost sure the bit also included "Them" (the Van Morrison version ) But I could be misremembering.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Them_(band)

I do remember hearing it on Dr. Demento back in the day. I think one of the guys was the actor who played Squiggy on "Laverne and Shirley".

[Estonut]

I do remember hearing it on Dr. Demento back in the day. I think one of the guys was the actor who played Squiggy on "Laverne and Shirley".

I knew that Lenny was the one who was a cast member on SNL, so I googled "saturday night live" "michael mckean" "who's on first" and got this on the IMDB hit:

Performed as the comedy group The Credibility Gap with Richard Beebe, David L. Lander and Harry Shearer (among others) in the 1960s and 1970s, best known for their rock band version of the classic Bud Abbott/Lou Costello routine "Who's on First?".

Since David Lander was Squiggy, I'd guess you're probably right about the voice.

[Mr Green]

I do remember hearing it on Dr. Demento back in the day. I think one of the guys was the actor who played Squiggy on "Laverne and Shirley".

I knew that Lenny was the one who was a cast member on SNL, so I googled "saturday night live" "michael mckean" "who's on first" and got this on the IMDB hit:

Wow! Someone out there still Googles me!