Jamie Lynn Spears
- PlacentiaSoccerMom
- Posts: 8134
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:47 am
- Location: Placentia, CA
- Contact:
Jamie Lynn Spears
Jamie Lynn Spears is, according to the National Enquirer, eight weeks pregnant with her second child.
- kayrharris
- Miss Congeniality
- Posts: 11968
- Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 10:48 am
- Location: Auburn, AL
- Contact:
- gsabc
- Posts: 6496
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 8:03 am
- Location: Federal Bureaucracy City
- Contact:
- tlynn78
- Posts: 9559
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 9:31 am
- Location: Montana
Just yesterday I was thinking "Hmm, with all this election crap, it's almost a shame the Paris's and Spears, et al, haven't been more in the forefront of the news"
I was wrong.
t.
I was wrong.
t.
When reality requires approval, control replaces truth.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. -Thomas Paine
You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. -Ayn Rand
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. -Thomas Paine
You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. -Ayn Rand
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire
- PlacentiaSoccerMom
- Posts: 8134
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:47 am
- Location: Placentia, CA
- Contact:
- macrae1234
- Posts: 2307
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:57 pm
- Location: The Valley of the Sun
Birth Control Tips for Jamie Lynn Spears (Whether She Needs Them Or Not)
According to an inside source "Jamie Lynn believed she couldn't get pregnant while she was breast-feeding." Well, then. That's sort of understandable, don't you think? There but for the grace of God go YOU, fertile woman.
The female reproductive cycle is mysterious and, ultimately, unknowable even by our nation's best scientists. Still, there are a few helpful tips every woman should observe in order to prevent more unwanted pregnancies. Given the high fecundity and low barrier to entry of Spears clan wombs, we'd advise young Jamie Lynn to pay attention whether she's actually knocked up or only near knocked up, which are the two default positions in that family.
• "Just the tip" is not "practically abstinence."
• Sperm does not swim "more slow-like" south of the Mason-Dixon line.
• You can't "smoke a baby out," no matter how many cartons of Kools you devote to that purpose. (You can, however, ensure that the baby you pump out is born adorably petite!)
• Jumping up and down after sex is ineffective. But! Still a great form of high-impact exercise!
• Clenching an aspirin/dime/King James Bible between your knees IS effective.
Depending on your endurance.
• Leaving your underwear on during intercourse will not prevent pregnancy. It is, however, impressive from a mechanical standpoint.
• Sneezing after sex only works 85% of the time.
• Disregard any advice which begins, "You can't catch pregnant if..."
• Spermicidal foam is just really, really gross. Ugh.
According to an inside source "Jamie Lynn believed she couldn't get pregnant while she was breast-feeding." Well, then. That's sort of understandable, don't you think? There but for the grace of God go YOU, fertile woman.
The female reproductive cycle is mysterious and, ultimately, unknowable even by our nation's best scientists. Still, there are a few helpful tips every woman should observe in order to prevent more unwanted pregnancies. Given the high fecundity and low barrier to entry of Spears clan wombs, we'd advise young Jamie Lynn to pay attention whether she's actually knocked up or only near knocked up, which are the two default positions in that family.
• "Just the tip" is not "practically abstinence."
• Sperm does not swim "more slow-like" south of the Mason-Dixon line.
• You can't "smoke a baby out," no matter how many cartons of Kools you devote to that purpose. (You can, however, ensure that the baby you pump out is born adorably petite!)
• Jumping up and down after sex is ineffective. But! Still a great form of high-impact exercise!
• Clenching an aspirin/dime/King James Bible between your knees IS effective.
Depending on your endurance.
• Leaving your underwear on during intercourse will not prevent pregnancy. It is, however, impressive from a mechanical standpoint.
• Sneezing after sex only works 85% of the time.
• Disregard any advice which begins, "You can't catch pregnant if..."
• Spermicidal foam is just really, really gross. Ugh.
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
- VAdame
- Posts: 1877
- Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:42 am
- Location: da 'Burgh!
Actually, if she's doing it right, Lactational Amennorhea METHOD/Ecological Breastfeeding/Natural Family Planning is pretty effective:macrae1234 wrote:According to an inside source "Jamie Lynn believed she couldn't get pregnant while she was breast-feeding." Well, then. That's sort of understandable, don't you think? There but for the grace of God go YOU, fertile woman.
(but most women r doin' it rong!)
********************************************************
For women who meet the criteria (listed below), LAM is 98% - 99.5% effective during the first six months postpartum.[1]
Breastfeeding must be the infant’s only (or almost only) source of nutrition. Feeding formula, pumping instead of nursing[2], and feeding solids all reduce the effectiveness of LAM.
The infant must breastfeed at least every four hours during the day and at least every six hours at night.
The infant must be less than six months old.
The woman must not have had a period after 56 days post-partum (when determining fertility, bleeding prior to 56 days post-partum can be ignored).
Ecological breastfeeding is a stricter form of LAM developed by Sheila Kippley, one of the founders of the Couple to Couple League. Studies have shown it has a 1% failure rate in the first six months postpartum, and a 6% failure rate before the woman’s first postpartum menstruation.[3][4] The Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding are slightly different from the LAM criteria:
Breastfeeding must be the infant’s only source of nutrition – no formula, no pumping, and (if the infant is less than six months old) no solids.
The infant must be pacified at the breast, not with pacifiers or bottles
The infant must be breastfed often. The standards for LAM are a bare minimum; more frequency is better. Scheduling of feedings should be avoided.
Mothers must sleep with their infants – in the same room, if not in the same bed.
Mothers must not be separated from their infants for more than three hours a day.
Mothers must take daily naps with their infants.
The woman must not have had a period after 56 days post-partum (bleeding prior to 56 days post-partum can be ignored).
***************************************
- gsabc
- Posts: 6496
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 8:03 am
- Location: Federal Bureaucracy City
- Contact:
- Sir_Galahad
- Posts: 1516
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:47 pm
- Location: In The Heartland
- a1mamacat
- Posts: 7134
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:02 pm
- Location: Great White North
Sir_Galahad wrote:Big effing deal. If she wasn't a famous sister she would just be another stupid teenager.
According to Big J, she IS just another stupid teenage. He and his friends are not impressed with her or her sister
Lover of Soft Animals and Fine Art
1st annual international BBBL Champeeeeen!
1st annual international BBBL Champeeeeen!
- TheConfessor
- Posts: 6462
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 1:11 pm
- silvercamaro
- Dog's Best Friend
- Posts: 9608
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:45 am
- TheConfessor
- Posts: 6462
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 1:11 pm
- PlacentiaSoccerMom
- Posts: 8134
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:47 am
- Location: Placentia, CA
- Contact:
- silvercamaro
- Dog's Best Friend
- Posts: 9608
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:45 am
- VAdame
- Posts: 1877
- Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:42 am
- Location: da 'Burgh!
You guys do realize that "stupid teenage mothers" grow up, right?a1mamacat wrote:Sir_Galahad wrote:Big effing deal. If she wasn't a famous sister she would just be another stupid teenager.
According to Big J, she IS just another stupid teenage. He and his friends are not impressed with her or her sister
Some of us even grow up to have pretty good, productive lives. And some of us even understand how Lactational Amenorhhea/Natural Child Spacing works, and have the motivation & commitment to practice it.
That is all.
- a1mamacat
- Posts: 7134
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:02 pm
- Location: Great White North
VAdame wrote:You guys do realize that "stupid teenage mothers" grow up, right?a1mamacat wrote:Sir_Galahad wrote:Big effing deal. If she wasn't a famous sister she would just be another stupid teenager.
According to Big J, she IS just another stupid teenage. He and his friends are not impressed with her or her sister
Some of us even grow up to have pretty good, productive lives. And some of us even understand how Lactational Amenorhhea/Natural Child Spacing works, and have the motivation & commitment to practice it.
That is all.
Yes, teenage mothers do grow up. Most of them learn from the first experience. Most of them are not stupid.
Stupid is the one who, having just produced a child from an "accident", does not make Damn sure that another "accident" does not happen.
Lover of Soft Animals and Fine Art
1st annual international BBBL Champeeeeen!
1st annual international BBBL Champeeeeen!
- cindy.wellman
- LOLOLOL
- Posts: 1641
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 2:42 pm
- Location: Alaska
- kayrharris
- Miss Congeniality
- Posts: 11968
- Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 10:48 am
- Location: Auburn, AL
- Contact:
- cindy.wellman
- LOLOLOL
- Posts: 1641
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 2:42 pm
- Location: Alaska
Ooh, I'm terribly sorry. I truly didn't mean anything by my remarks. I didn't know that Mrs. Rexer was a member of this group, but regardless, there wasn't any reason to make the type of comment that I did.kayrharris wrote:Mary, there are generalizations in most everything. You managed to be an exception and that is to your credit.
I hope you realize these remarks aren't directed at you at all!
I apologize.
- christie1111
- 11:11
- Posts: 11630
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 8:54 am
- Location: CT
Honey, you may want to go re-read who posted what. Rexer did not post in this thread at all.cindy.wellman wrote:Ooh, I'm terribly sorry. I truly didn't mean anything by my remarks. I didn't know that Mrs. Rexer was a member of this group, but regardless, there wasn't any reason to make the type of comment that I did.kayrharris wrote:Mary, there are generalizations in most everything. You managed to be an exception and that is to your credit.
I hope you realize these remarks aren't directed at you at all!
I apologize.
"A bed without a quilt is like the sky without stars"