Something to laugh at

[tlynn78]

other than BDM, I mean.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

[christie1111]

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

raising hand and waving...........


I know the answer to that one!

[MarleysGh0st]

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Having just recently "read" the Tarzan of the Apes audiobook, I know the answer to this one.

Tarzan learned how to shave, using a knife he found at his parent's hut.

Just like he learned to read, all on his own, by puzzling out the "bugs" he found printed in books there, all without ever having any clue what the words he read should sound like. Really.

[MarleysGh0st]

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

And this one annoys me, because creationists try to use it as a real argument.

Short answer: Both humans and modern apes evolved from common ape-like ancestors.

[MarleysGh0st]

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Preparing to be a kamikaze involved a lot of ritual. Being dressed in one's proper uniform, enhanced with headbands carrying patriotic slogans, was part of that.

And, to the extent that a leather flying helmet offers protection--which is virtually not at all--being able to survive enemy fire until one's mission was successfully completed would be desirable.

[MarleysGh0st]

I'm sorry--were these questions rhetorical?

[peacock2121]

um

I think these are suppose to be jokes, not real questions.

[MarleysGh0st]

um

I think these are suppose to be jokes, not real questions.

LOL

Just a little too slow with that observation, pea!

[christie1111]

I'm sorry--were these questions rhetorical?

I was trying to formulate a response but you beat me too it.

[peacock2121]

um

I think these are suppose to be jokes, not real questions.

LOL

Just a little too slow with that observation, pea!

story of my life

[ulysses5019]

um

I think these are suppose to be jokes, not real questions.

Quiet pea. I want to hear the rest of the answers.

[peacock2121]

um

I think these are suppose to be jokes, not real questions.

Quiet pea. I want to hear the rest of the answers.

oopsy, my bad.

[VAdame]

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Having just recently "read" the Tarzan of the Apes audiobook, I know the answer to this one.

Tarzan learned how to shave, using a knife he found at his parent's hut.

Just like he learned to read, all on his own, by puzzling out the "bugs" he found printed in books there, all without ever having any clue what the words he read should sound like. Really.

That doesn't explain *why* it would occur to him to shave though. The way I recall it is, he also had pictures of his parents, and wanted to look like them. Since his father was clean-shaven, and his mom was, you know, female -- he decided to shave!

[MarleysGh0st]

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Having just recently "read" the Tarzan of the Apes audiobook, I know the answer to this one.

Tarzan learned how to shave, using a knife he found at his parent's hut.

Just like he learned to read, all on his own, by puzzling out the "bugs" he found printed in books there, all without ever having any clue what the words he read should sound like. Really.

That doesn't explain *why* it would occur to him to shave though. The way I recall it is, he also had pictures of his parents, and wanted to look like them. Since his father was clean-shaven, and his mom was, you know, female -- he decided to shave!

Basically, yeah. It's also from looking that the picture books that he learns that his people wear clothes.

[earendel]

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Reflex action. He can't see the bullets coming at him (OK, maybe with his various vision powers he can) but the revolver invokes the startle reflex that is as much a part of Kryptonian ancestry as it is ours.

[danielh41]

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Reflex action. He can't see the bullets coming at him (OK, maybe with his various vision powers he can) but the revolver invokes the startle reflex that is as much a part of Kryptonian ancestry as it is ours.

I always figured that it was because George Reeves knew how much that prop gun would have hurt if he let it hit him.