God loves blondes

The forum for general posting. Come join the madness. :)
Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
BackInTex
Posts: 13494
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 12:43 pm
Location: In Texas of course!

God loves blondes

#1 Post by BackInTex » Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:27 am

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust
and she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides to ask
God for help.

She begins to pray... 'God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I
don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me
win the lottery.

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins. She again
prays... 'God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my
house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays...

'My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house,
and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help,
and I've always been a good servant to you.

PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my
life back in order.'

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.
The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....
Spoiler
"Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket."
..what country can preserve it’s liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? let them take arms.
~~ Thomas Jefferson

War is where the government tells you who the bad guy is.
Revolution is when you decide that for yourself.
-- Benjamin Franklin (maybe)
Top
User avatar
NellyLunatic1980
Posts: 7935
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:54 am
Contact:
Contact NellyLunatic1980

#2 Post by NellyLunatic1980 » Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:30 am

You're gonna get letters from blondes. :lol:
Top
User avatar
Bob Juch
Posts: 27033
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:58 am
Location: Oro Valley, Arizona
Contact:
Contact Bob Juch

#3 Post by Bob Juch » Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:46 am

My favorite:

A blonde drives up to her house and sees it's on fire. She calls 911 on her cell phone and yells, "Come quick! Come quick! My house is on fire!"

The dispatcher says, "OK, how do we get there?"

The blonde replies, "Well duh! In your big red truck!"
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to drive in New Jersey.
Top
User avatar
NellyLunatic1980
Posts: 7935
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:54 am
Contact:
Contact NellyLunatic1980

#4 Post by NellyLunatic1980 » Sat Jan 26, 2008 7:51 am

OK... screw the hate mail.

How do you make a one-armed blonde fall out of a tree?
Spoiler
Wave to her.
Top
User avatar
SportsFan68
No Scritches!!!
Posts: 21254
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: God's Country

#5 Post by SportsFan68 » Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:44 pm

The blond's house is burgled while he's at work, and the first officer on scene happens to be a K-9 unit which was in the area.

The blond sinks down on the front steps and moans, "Just my luck! First all my stuff is stolen, now they send me a BLIND police officer!"
Top
User avatar
gsabc
Posts: 6489
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 8:03 am
Location: Federal Bureaucracy City
Contact:
Contact gsabc

#6 Post by gsabc » Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:51 pm

The subject in the version I know is an old Russian Jew.
The joke probably predates the 20th century. The punchline in my version:
Spoiler
"Nu? Meet me halfway. Buy a ticket."
I just ordered chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.
Top
Spock
Posts: 4784
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:01 pm

#7 Post by Spock » Sat Jan 26, 2008 8:21 pm

Yeah, So do I

Next question.

I also like brunettes. and redheads and ....
Top
User avatar
PlacentiaSoccerMom
Posts: 8134
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:47 am
Location: Placentia, CA
Contact:
Contact PlacentiaSoccerMom

#8 Post by PlacentiaSoccerMom » Sat Jan 26, 2008 9:07 pm

He also likes underage Palestinian virgins. :)
Top
User avatar
Jeemie
Posts: 7303
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 5:35 pm
Location: City of Champions Once More (Well, in spirit)!!!!

#9 Post by Jeemie » Sat Jan 26, 2008 10:09 pm

Two blondes walk into a building.
Spoiler
You think one of them would have seen it.
1979 City of Champions 2009
Top
User avatar
Jeemie
Posts: 7303
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 5:35 pm
Location: City of Champions Once More (Well, in spirit)!!!!

#10 Post by Jeemie » Sat Jan 26, 2008 11:18 pm

Why did the blonde man's girlfriend have bruises on her belly button?
Spoiler
Because blonde men are stupid too.
1979 City of Champions 2009
Top
User avatar
VAdame
Posts: 1877
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:42 am
Location: da 'Burgh!

#11 Post by VAdame » Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:21 am

Jeemie wrote:Why did the blonde man's girlfriend have bruises on her belly button?
Spoiler
Because blonde men are stupid too.
A blond man comes home early from work one day & hears strange noises from the bedroom. He goes in to find his wife lying naked on the bed, panting and sweating. He asks her what she's doing, and she gasps, "I'm having a heart attack!"

He runs out in the hall to call 911, when his 7-year-old daughter comes up & says, "Hey, Daddy....Uncle Joey's hiding in the closet & he got no clothes on!"

Blond guy throws open the closet door and sure enough, there's his brother crouching beneath the coats, starkers! Blond guy grabs him, pulls him out, gives him a good shake, and yells....
Spoiler
What's the hell's wrong with you?! Here's my poor wife having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around naked, scaring the kids!
Top
User avatar
peacock2121
Posts: 18451
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:58 am

#12 Post by peacock2121 » Sun Jan 27, 2008 6:51 am

Good thing I am a fake blonde.

Means I can be fake stoopid too.
Top
Post Reply

Return to “WWTBAM Bored Posts”