Claudio Monkeyface.
Excuse me? What kind of a Mafia name is that? Why, if my Uncle Vinny had given me that name when I got made, I'da..
Ummm...strike that last part.
Seriously, though...Buff coulda given me a better name than Claudio Monkeyface. Sheesh. My first name is Thomas, fa cryin' out loud. I was expecting something more appropos, like Tommy Ten Beers. OK, nowadays more like Tommy Two Beers.
Heck, how 'bout Tommy the Bone? All sorts of possibilities with that one's origins

"#$%&@*&"-Donald F. Duck