Gotta keep out of the kitchen and out of the fridge and other snacks. Can't do my normal exercises for a while. That's frustrating. I had readjusted my morning routine just last week to get in another fifteen minutes of elliptical work. Because of that, I was about to reach the quarter-million point mark on the President's Challenge thingie. That has been postponed.
With apologies to Jay, I must share this one.
Artie the hitman was negotiating a job. The husband had taken out a large insurance policy on his wife, and wanted Artie to do the dirty work. Artie told him it would cost $5000. Hubby said fine, I'll pay you when you finish. Artie said no, I want some money up front. Hubby offers $1. With a sigh (times are tough all over), Artie agrees.
He catches up with the wife in the local Whole Foods store, gets her alone in the produce aisle and proceeds to strangle her. Just as she's drawing her last breath, the produce manager shows up. Not wanting to leave a witness, Artie strangles him, too. Unfortunately, there's a security camera that catches it all on video, someone calls the police and the hitman is arrested.
The next day's headline:
Spoiler
Artie Chokes Two for a Dollar At Whole Foods
