I thought this was lost forever...

[T_Bone0806]

..but I found it in a box of Christmas cassettes. Most of the "FreeAgentElf" files were lost in the flood, but the first few ones I wrote were obviously in a different place. Of all the ones I thought were lost, this was the one I was most upset about. This was fairly well-received back when it was first posted in 2003, so, here 'tis again, unedited and as is. Some of the names are AWOL now, but the vets will remember......

A VISIT FROM ST. REGIS

'Twas the night before Christmas and all 'cross the Bored
Not a BB was posting, how loudly they snored
The BB's were nestled, all snug in their beds
While visions of confetti danced through their heads

Except for the Food Dude, he just couldn't sleep
He was counting McRibs instead of McSheep
Yes, all in their jammies, in a long winter's snooze
with T-Bone wearing his Spidey Underoos

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my 'puter, to see what was the matter
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Told me tomorrow I'd be shovelling that "Holiday Glow" (**#@$@#*!)

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh (guess I drank too much beer!)
With a guy dressed in red, so flamboyant and alive
Knew it either was Santa, or one of the "Fab Five"

I started to greet him, but then I said "STOP!
Show me some I.D., or I'm calling a cop!"
He said "Let me in, it's freezing out here..
unless you want coal, like I gave you last year!"

He said "Ho! Ho! Ho!", well that told me plenty,
So I let him in (after he slipped me a twenty)
He carried that 30-ton sack with such ease
Filled up with goodies for all BAM BB's

"I tried once to post, but they wanted to fight me,
Why, one even said to me, 'Hey Santa, Bite Me!'
But I don't hold a grudge, so for Pea, here's a toy..
A golf-playing clone of her sweet Baby Boy!"

"And since Roy has stepped down from his post at Disney,
The position's now filled by Rob Wilson and Mini..
To Barbie and Silver and Blues Legend BB,
Their very own sitcom-now THAT'S must-see- TV!

Good wishes are non-denominational, ghost,
From THIS old Santa, I send you the most!
And TiV, Vandal, Starfish and T-Bone,
are the new music critics at Rolling Stone"


I said, "hey Santa, how come you're so late?"
He said "I just came from Texas, it's a mighty big state..
Now, the Superfan title should have been 'Texas Chick's'
so for Christmas you're getting a recount, Ms. Bix!

And for AJ, a present he's sure to remember..
Much smarter teammates for Gender Defender
In PA, I strong-armed McDonald's, no fibs,
Now Food King has a lifetime supply of McRibs!

For Marley, your turn in the hotseat next year
You'll be picking confetti out of each ear
and something for Skoop and Sprots? Well, of coursies!
Big Playoff wins for the Kitties and Horsies!

Sometimes trials as a parent bring a tear to the eye,
But this plaque says 'Best Mom Saucy', let noone deny
and to store all his notebooks, to LB I bring,
in the Library of Congress, his very own wing

For dear coed June, straight A's for a mile,
She's our favorite healer (just don't lose that smile!)
'American Idol' will have no age limit now,
So Moonie will make even Simon kow-tow!

I've left out a few, but I don't have much time,
Besides, some have screen names that are too hard to rhyme!
Yes, I know there are others, but I really must leave,
I'd like to be finished before New Year's Eve!

Oops! just one more thing, before I travel on,
A big lump of coal for that old Scrooge Lloyd Braun!"
Then I heard him exclaim as he headed on back,
"Merry Christmas To All, and To All a Good Stack!!!"

[SportsFan68]

and something for Skoop and Sprots? Well, of coursies!
Big Playoff wins for the Kitties and Horsies!

THANKS!

I don't remember how it went that year, but we need some help to make the playoffs this year.

Skoop's kittycats, of course, are already in.

GO BRONCOS!


GREAT POME, T-BONE!!!

[etaoin22]

Thank you! Brings back lots of bored memories! Merry XMAS to you and yours!

[littlebeast13]

I'm pretty sure I had that saved in my Phoenix Archive....

It's a definite Bored classic....

lb13

[a1mamacat]

'sniff'

The more things change...the more they stay the same.