More Facts on Sarah Palin:

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Appa23 · #1 Post by **Appa23** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 3:04 pm

Sarah Palin is the reason that a compass needle points North.

Queen Elizabeth II curtsied when she was introduced to Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin’s image already appears on the newer nickels

Fox is starting a new reality show… when Sarah Palin Attacks

Sarah Palin once bagged a caribou by staring it down until it died.

Sarah Palin turned down a job as skipper of a Deadliest Catch boat because it wasn’t challenging enough.

Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.

Sarah Palin once guided Santa’s sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.

Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List

Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin bout

Jesus wears a bracelet that says, “WWSPD?”

Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience

Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!

Sarah Palin plans to take the train back from DC to Alaska every night.

When Sarah Palin looks in the mirror, nothing appears; there can only be one Sarah Palin.

Originally, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful

Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet- she ran as part of morning workout.

Sarah Palin can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

N. Alaska is sunny half the year and dark half the year because Sarah Palin needed the reading light, then wanted a nap

Sarah Palin always beats the point spread.

When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

When Obama and Biden get into their bunk bed at night, they check the closet for Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin knows who was on the grassy knoll.

Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.

Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

Sarah Palin pick retroactively makes the theme of #DNC08 “Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead”

Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

Ted Moseby marries Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin can be your wingman any time. Bullshit, you could be hers.

Sarah Palin won the unaired, actual first season of Survivor, when everyone else voted for her before even reaching the island.

Sarah Palin is actually Keyser Soze

Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

Sarah Palin can read EBCDIC.

Scientists' sole defense against risk of creating world-destroying black holes by the Large Hadron Collidor: Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines.

Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.

Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone.

Bigfoot takes pictures of Sarah Palin.

Chuck Norris backs down from no man. He does back down from Sarah Palin

BackInTex · #2 Post by **BackInTex** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 3:09 pm

Appa23 wrote:Sarah Palin can read EBCDIC.

Hey, I can do that!

I seriously doubt she even knows what it is. Or cares. But that is the only black mark against her, so far.

I'll need to see what her stand is on the Monty Hall/3 doors enigma.

clem21 · #3 Post by **clem21** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 3:11 pm

Appa23 wrote: Chuck Norris backs down from no man. He does back down from Sarah Palin

No. I agree with all the rest but you can never mess with Chuck Norris.

silverscreenselect · #4 Post by **silverscreenselect** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 3:46 pm

Sarah Palin herself supposedly told this one to an aide:

What's the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom?

Hockey moms wear lipstick.

BigDrawMan · #5 Post by **BigDrawMan** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 4:56 pm

Sarah Palin's name will be written in pencil on McCain-Palin signs.

mebbe they can squeeze "Santorum" in there.

he has 6 kids

BackInTex · #6 Post by **BackInTex** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 5:03 pm

BigDrawMan wrote:Sarah Palin's name will be written in pencil on McCain-Palin signs.

mebbe they can squeeze "Santorum" in there.

he has 6 kids

You're getting scared already. Your anti-Palin post rate is very telling.

BigDrawMan · #7 Post by **BigDrawMan** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 5:20 pm

BackInTex wrote:
BigDrawMan wrote:Sarah Palin's name will be written in pencil on McCain-Palin signs.

mebbe they can squeeze "Santorum" in there.

he has 6 kids
You're getting scared already. Your anti-Palin post rate is very telling.

wait till you hear Lettermens joke rate on her.

i intuit english bookies have made a line on whether she's still the veepmate on election day.

McCain said he likes to make snap judgements on big decisions.
An admirable trait in a president.

ulysses5019 · #8 Post by **ulysses5019** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 8:50 pm

But most important of all.......does she want to being the phone game back?

sunflower · #9 Post by **sunflower** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 8:51 pm

I bet Sarah Palin knows that sugarloaf, cayenne and red spanish are popular varieties of pineapples...not pears...

Sigh...

ulysses5019 · #10 Post by **ulysses5019** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 8:54 pm

sunflower wrote:I bet Sarah Palin knows that sugarloaf, cayenne and red spanish are popular varieties of pineapples...not pears...

Sigh...

When MBFFB gets stuck on a question, he calls Sarah Palin.

Beebs52 · #11 Post by **Beebs52** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 9:11 pm

BigDrawMan wrote:Sarah Palin's name will be written in pencil on McCain-Palin signs.

mebbe they can squeeze "Santorum" in there.

he has 6 kids

That is really weak. You must admit. Who even thinks of Santorum, or ever did for that matter.

You really must come up with something more entertaining. Butch up.

Political Carp · #12 Post by **Political Carp** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 9:36 pm

Beebs52 wrote:
BigDrawMan wrote:Sarah Palin's name will be written in pencil on McCain-Palin signs.

mebbe they can squeeze "Santorum" in there.

he has 6 kids
That is really weak. You must admit. Who even thinks of Santorum, or ever did for that matter.

You really must come up with something more entertaining. Butch up.

Well, they did all live in this teeny-weeny little house!

glub....glub....glub....

sunflower · #13 Post by **sunflower** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 9:38 pm

I like the new tie, Political Carp!

I no longer wish to season you with a lemon pepper rub! Not when you're so patriotic!

Beebs52 · #14 Post by **Beebs52** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 9:47 pm

Political Carp wrote:
Beebs52 wrote:
BigDrawMan wrote:Sarah Palin's name will be written in pencil on McCain-Palin signs.

mebbe they can squeeze "Santorum" in there.

he has 6 kids
That is really weak. You must admit. Who even thinks of Santorum, or ever did for that matter.

You really must come up with something more entertaining. Butch up.
Well, they did all live in this teeny-weeny little house!

glub....glub....glub....

I know. I know. It's just that. The shit. Who gives a.

gotribego26 · #15 Post by **gotribego26** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 5:14 am

sunflower wrote:I like the new tie, Political Carp!

I no longer wish to season you with a lemon pepper rub! Not when you're so patriotic!

There isn't enough lemon pepper rub in North America to make Carp worth eating.

Spock · #16 Post by **Spock** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 6:07 am

Of course-the kid who knocked the daughter up has to marry her-

Dad has a fishing boat and works deadliest catch type stuff-

He could make you disappear during your summer job.

Unfortunate accident-"Dang newbie tried swimming with a crab cage around him."

peacock2121 · #17 Post by **peacock2121** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 6:11 am

I want to hear her speak.

I want to make up my own mind on her.

From some of the things I have read, she and I might agree on a few things.

Although, I will not be voting for her.

jarnon · #18 Post by **jarnon** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 6:13 am

When Sarah Palin went into labor, no airline would fly her to Alaska, so she chartered a plane and flew it herself.

President McCain will send VP Palin to intercept hurricanes at sea and order them to turn away. No ships available? No problem; she'll walk.

After Joe Biden debated Sarah Palin, he endorsed the McCain ticket.

Ahmadinejad met with Sarah Palin, and now Christianity is the state religion of Iran.

Transfusions from Sarah Palin reverse the effects of aging. McCain had one, and he feels 100 years younger.

Bob Juch · #19 Post by **Bob Juch** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 6:19 am

Spock wrote:Of course-the kid who knocked the daughter up has to marry her-

Dad has a fishing boat and works deadliest catch type stuff-

He could make you disappear during your summer job.

Unfortunate accident-"Dang newbie tried swimming with a crab cage around him."

Sarah hacked his MySpace account and it now reads that he wants six kids instead of none.

Rexer25 · #20 Post by **Rexer25** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 6:44 am

ulysses5019 wrote:
sunflower wrote:I bet Sarah Palin knows that sugarloaf, cayenne and red spanish are popular varieties of pineapples...not pears...

Sigh...
When MBFFB gets stuck on a question, he calls Sarah Palin.

REC!!!
Rec
Rec
Rec

Best Palin line so far!!
At least for this bored.

nitrah55 · #21 Post by **nitrah55** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:53 am

You see, this is why I don't mind political posts, mostly.

This one is actually non-partisan and funny.

I think it is healthy to be able to laugh over stuff with people I disagree with.

If we took out the contentious stuff, we wouldn't take the chance of doing the funny stuff.

Were that life were just game show. But it ain't.

MarleysGh0st · #22 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:18 am

ulysses5019 wrote:But most important of all.......does she want to being the phone game back?

Does she want to bring the Phone Game back?

If you get the opportunity to ask her this question, at least phrase it right!

silverscreenselect · #23 Post by **silverscreenselect** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:23 am

sunflower wrote:I bet Sarah Palin knows that sugarloaf, cayenne and red spanish are popular varieties of pineapples...not pears...

Sigh...

I'd bet even more that she knows how many rows of stars there are on the American flag.

#24 Post by **Vandal** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:51 am

Why is Sarah Palin so smart?

Because:

Spoiler

She's a Vandal!

It looks like she was at U of Idaho just as I was finishing up my third Senior year. Back then, she was Sarah Heath the coed.

Fortunately, no one can prove it was me in the bushes outside the sorority house.

themanintheseersuckersuit · #25 Post by **themanintheseersuckersuit** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 9:10 am

We don’t know who would win in a Chuck Norris - Sarah Palin cage match because they’ve never invented a cage that can hold Sarah Palin.

Little known fact: Sarah Palin would have just had an Eagle drop the Ring into Mount Doom.

Little known fact: If placed into Schroedinger’s experiment, both Sarah Palins remain alive.

WWTBAM Bored

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