Steven Spielbored presents CyberJaws
Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 8:18 pm
Year: 2028
Setting: Onboard Grandpa Uly's boat, The Orca
Granddaughter Annie: Grandpa Uly, come play a game with us.
Grandpa Uly: What would you like to play? I brought my computer.
Grandson Nelly: How about Bored game, Grandpa?
Grandpa Uly: A Bored game? I don't think so.
Annie: Why not, Grandpa?
Grandpa Uly: Because...because of the Raspberry Bored.
Nelly: You were on the Raspberry Bored?
Annie: What happened?
Grandpa Uly: Well, a group of us went to the Raspberry Bored to deliver the September Question of the Day, when the rogue ship Fantine attacked. Over six hundred BBs were online. Bored went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first Timeline® for about a half an hour. A Double. With a Bogie list. You know how you know that when you're on the Bored, Annie? You tell by looking at its Timeline® Well.
What we didn't know, was our QoD mission had been so secret, no email had been sent. They didn't even list us offline for a month.
Very first morning, a Timeline® comes cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. The idea was: a Timeline® comes to the nearest BB, that BB he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the Timeline® goes away... but sometimes it wouldn't go away. Sometimes the Timeline® he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a Timeline®... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a squirrel's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he attacks ya, and those squirrel eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The internet turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... turn you into a Tangredi.
You know by the end of that first challenge, lost a hundred BBs. I don't know how many Timelines®, but there were doubles, triples and even a reverse. I know how many BBs, they averaged six a day. During the tenth challenge I bumped into a friend of mine, Billy Littlebeast from Illinois. Notebook Boy, we called him. I thought he was on sleep mode. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in cyberspace just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, it looked like he'd been through a Tanstaafl. His notebooks, too.
On the thirtieth day, the USS Marley saw us and starts to boot us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never play a Bored game again. So, six hundred BBs from the Raspberry Bored went into cyberspace; only a hundred BBs come out and Timeline® took the rest.
September first through the thirtieth, 2008.
Anyway, we delivered the QoD.
Sink your teeth into Timeline® starting on Monday
Setting: Onboard Grandpa Uly's boat, The Orca
Granddaughter Annie: Grandpa Uly, come play a game with us.
Grandpa Uly: What would you like to play? I brought my computer.
Grandson Nelly: How about Bored game, Grandpa?
Grandpa Uly: A Bored game? I don't think so.
Annie: Why not, Grandpa?
Grandpa Uly: Because...because of the Raspberry Bored.
Nelly: You were on the Raspberry Bored?
Annie: What happened?
Grandpa Uly: Well, a group of us went to the Raspberry Bored to deliver the September Question of the Day, when the rogue ship Fantine attacked. Over six hundred BBs were online. Bored went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first Timeline® for about a half an hour. A Double. With a Bogie list. You know how you know that when you're on the Bored, Annie? You tell by looking at its Timeline® Well.
What we didn't know, was our QoD mission had been so secret, no email had been sent. They didn't even list us offline for a month.
Very first morning, a Timeline® comes cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. The idea was: a Timeline® comes to the nearest BB, that BB he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the Timeline® goes away... but sometimes it wouldn't go away. Sometimes the Timeline® he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a Timeline®... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a squirrel's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he attacks ya, and those squirrel eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The internet turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... turn you into a Tangredi.
You know by the end of that first challenge, lost a hundred BBs. I don't know how many Timelines®, but there were doubles, triples and even a reverse. I know how many BBs, they averaged six a day. During the tenth challenge I bumped into a friend of mine, Billy Littlebeast from Illinois. Notebook Boy, we called him. I thought he was on sleep mode. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in cyberspace just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, it looked like he'd been through a Tanstaafl. His notebooks, too.
On the thirtieth day, the USS Marley saw us and starts to boot us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never play a Bored game again. So, six hundred BBs from the Raspberry Bored went into cyberspace; only a hundred BBs come out and Timeline® took the rest.
September first through the thirtieth, 2008.
Anyway, we delivered the QoD.
Sink your teeth into Timeline® starting on Monday
