WWTBAM Bored

Judge Calvinator: Lieutenant Beast, the floor is yours.



Lieutenant Beast: Colonel Fantine, I'd like to ask you a few questions about an upcoming and potentially dangerous internet event.

Dangerous? You see Lieutenant Beast, I can deal with the MMs, and the jipters, and the blogs. I don't want fame, and I don't want kudos. What I do want is for you to stand there in that white uniform and with your Midwestern mouth extend me some courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.



Lieutenant Beast: Colonel Fantine, did you order September Timeline®?

Judge Calvinator: You don’t have to answer that question!

I'll answer the question!

[to Lieutenant Beast]
You want answers?

Lieutenant Beast: I think I'm entitled.

You want answers?



Lieutenant Beast: I want the truth!

You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has an internet and the internet needs to be supplied with Bored games. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Uly? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about in chat rooms you want me on that Bored, you need me on that Bored.



We use words like points, honesty, spoilers. We use them as the backbone of a game trying to amuse people. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a BB who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very games I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide them. I would rather you just gave me a rec and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you play QoD. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Lieutenant Beast: Did you order Timeline®?

I did what I...

Lieutenant Beast: Did you order Timeline®?

You’re Goddamned right I did!

[Judge Calvinator orders all the other BBs to log out]

What is this? What's going on? I did my job, I'd do it again!
[stands up defiantly]

I'm gonna get on my PC and go on back to the Bored.

Judge Calvinator: You're not going anywhere, Colonel. Lieutenant Uly... guard the Colonel! Lieutenant Beast, continue.

What the hell is this?

Lieutenant Beast: Colonel Fantine, you have the right to remain silent. Any statement you make...

I'm being charged with a crime? Is that what this is? I'm being charged with a crime? Timeline® is not a crime! This is funny. That's what this is. This is...

[turning to Lieutenant Beast and lunging at him]
...I'm gonna rip the eyeballs out of your head and piss in your dead skull! You fucked with the wrong Meister!

Lieutenant Beast: Colonel Fantine! Do you understand these rights as I have just read them to you?

You BBs... you have no idea how to create a game. All you did was weaken the Bored, Lieutenant Beast. That's all you did. You made the world a little less fun. Sweet dreams, son.

Well, all righty then.

Jack looks so young.

PlacentiaSoccerMom wrote:Jack looks so young.

Jack? I thought that was Colonel Fantine.

I'm really gonna miss these hilarious Timeline® promos.

NellyLunatic1980 wrote:I'm really gonna miss these hilarious Timeline® promos.

Maybe we could postpone the game until October and run another month of these?

MarleysGh0st wrote:

NellyLunatic1980 wrote:I'm really gonna miss these hilarious Timeline® promos.

Maybe we could postpone the game until October and run another month of these?

I was thinking of suggesting that yesterday when Fanny said the game could never top the promos! Of course, the show must always go on, and once the hilarity of the ads stops, the hilarity that always surrounds one of Fanny's games will pick right up... plus, those of us who work for The Director of Promos can always promo the hell out of my next LS run coming up in January with the rest of our unused ideas.....

BTW, ColNathanJessup was an old MM of mine that posted in the very first MM parade 7 years ago. Glad to see him back....

lb13

littlebeast13 wrote:

MarleysGh0st wrote:

NellyLunatic1980 wrote:I'm really gonna miss these hilarious Timeline® promos.

Maybe we could postpone the game until October and run another month of these?

I was thinking of suggesting that yesterday when Fanny said the game could never top the promos! Of course, the show must always go on, and once the hilarity of the ads stops, the hilarity that always surrounds one of Fanny's games will pick right up... plus, those of us who work for The Director of Promos can always promo the hell out of my next LS run coming up in January with the rest of our unused ideas.....

BTW, ColNathanJessup was an old MM of mine that posted in the very first MM parade 7 years ago. Glad to see him back....

lb13

Marley thinks he's being funny but I think it's a good idea! Let's delay Timeline until October and then September promos can all be trying to explain why it's pushed back and trying to convince people to hang in there and be patient. Ha!

PS Since when does hilarity surround my games? Usually it involves "somebody" googling to try and prove me wrong and then I end up reaming them and that isn't entertaining at all.

Or is it? Ha!

Here's Fanny! wrote:Marley thinks he's being funny but I think it's a good idea! Let's delay Timeline until October and then September promos can all be trying to explain why it's pushed back and trying to convince people to hang in there and be patient. Ha!

PS Since when does hilarity surround my games? Usually it involves "somebody" googling to try and prove me wrong and then I end up reaming them and that isn't entertaining at all.

Or is it? Ha!

Well, a good reaming is always funny. But I think your games, and especially the answers/points finales, are quite entertaining. Of course, I am pretty easily amused....

lb13

Here's Fanny! wrote: Marley thinks he's being funny but I think it's a good idea! Let's delay Timeline until October and then September promos can all be trying to explain why it's pushed back and trying to convince people to hang in there and be patient. Ha!

Well, you're still leading in this month's QoD. If you win that, you can say that your obligation to meister September's QoD forces you to delay the premiere of Timeline!

MarleysGh0st wrote:

Here's Fanny! wrote: Marley thinks he's being funny but I think it's a good idea! Let's delay Timeline until October and then September promos can all be trying to explain why it's pushed back and trying to convince people to hang in there and be patient. Ha!

Well, you're still leading in this month's QoD. If you win that, you can say that your obligation to meister September's QoD forces you to delay the premiere of Timeline!

Are you trying to say that you want me to stop answering? Not to worry, I sucked GDD in Montreal and I know that I'll be taking it in the shorts in Seoul. Ha!

littlebeast13 wrote:Well, a good reaming is always funny. But I think your games, and especially the answers/points finales, are quite entertaining. Of course, I am pretty easily amused....

lb13

Thank God somebody is. Ha! Another plus is that I might be able to max out Peekaboo Fanny by October so I wouldn't have to change posting horses in mid-Timeline. Because some are easily confused.

Here's Fanny! wrote:

littlebeast13 wrote:Well, a good reaming is always funny. But I think your games, and especially the answers/points finales, are quite entertaining. Of course, I am pretty easily amused....

lb13

Thank God somebody is. Ha! Another plus is that I might be able to max out Peekaboo Fanny by October so I wouldn't have to change posting horses in mid-Timeline. Because some are easily confused.

I'm already confused.

Here's Fanny! wrote: PS Since when does hilarity surround my games? Usually it involves "somebody" googling to try and prove me wrong and then I end up reaming them and that isn't entertaining at all.

Or is it? Ha!

Well, that's how I get MY jollies, but then again, I'm a twisted, evil bitch!

I can't even remember yesterday sometimes--can I cheat and have Rain Man play Timeline for me? He's only 13, but can probably figure this stuff out better than I can.

Okay, I'll just read the ensuing wars instead...

minimetoo26 wrote:I can't even remember yesterday sometimes--can I cheat and have Rain Man play Timeline for me? He's only 13, but can probably figure this stuff out better than I can.

Sure, he's welcome to play! You've already got an MM for him!