WWTBAM Bored

Now that The Donald has bailed me out of my financial problems, it would seem that I can sleep a little easier, especially since those cots down at the Beverly Hills mission are a bit more uncomfortable than my bed at home. But unless I want to continue eating supper down at the soup kitchen, I know I still need to find some kind of a paying job. What with Dick Clark unable to help me deliver sweepstakes checks anymore, and the walk-in bathtub business going down the drain, I knew I was going to have to broaden my horizons a bit in order to find a new gig.

That's when I heard that the lovely Miss Fanny will be hosting a game this September called Timeline®. Now, I've been in the business for about as long as there's been televisions, and I know that for a new game like this to be successful, it needs to have a lovable sidekick who is experienced in the art of second bananaism, or at least someone to ensure that the game's answers remain hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch. Well, I'm here to let you know ol' Ed McMahon hasn't lost his touch, and I came up with this nice little intro in hopes of landing the announcer's job. Check this out...


{clears throat}


Da-dun-da-da-da, da-da dun, da-da...


Frooooooooom The Raspberry Bored! It's Timeline®, starring Peekaboo Fanny. This month's guests include... from Mongolia, the wit and wisdom of Genghis Khan. The national television debut of world famous aviator Amelia Earhart. A performance by Johann Sebastian Bach. And from the ABA the one and only David Thompson. And as always, the music of conductor J.J. Cale and the Timeline® Orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen......


Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Fanny!



Yep, I better go ahead and tell Jerry Lewis to find a stand-in for the telethon. I'm gonna be right back where I belong, making a living sucking up to a bigger star....

This reminds me of a story told by Allan Sherman (of Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah fame) in his autobiography 'A Gift Of Laughter' of all these hollywood stars being driven down to the unemployment offices in their limo's to stand in line to collect their unemployment checks. He also recounts Hapro Marx's one attempt to do that as well - a great story. In additon to the songs he his famous for, he also wrote an amazing book called 'The Rape of the A*P*E' - it's hard to find but worth the effort (beware it is not for the prudish, there is a whole chapter which is devoted to a single four letter word that some claim its origins lie in an abbreviation of unlawful carnel knowledge - on second thought, it is ideal for the prudish).

Finally a game show connection - for years Allan Sherman worked for Goodson-Todman and created the game show "I've Got A Secret"

---Jay (The American version of 'That Was The Week That Was' (which Allan Sherman wrote songs for) started its regular series run this many years ago - if you know how long ago that was then you will also know in how many days my episode is scheduled to air)

Ed was going to have a push and play button on his headstone that said "herrrrrrrrrrre's Johnny!". I heard he tossed that one out for his new recording "herrrrrrrrrrre's Donnie!".

You know, it seems as though he still has Johnny on the brain....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTRzrjAS ... re=related

frogman042 wrote:he also wrote an amazing book called 'The Rape of the A*P*E' - it's hard to find but worth the effort (beware it is not for the prudish, there is a whole chapter which is devoted to a single four letter word that some claim its origins lie in an abbreviation of unlawful carnel knowledge - on second thought, it is ideal for the prudish).

I will second Frogman's review of A*P*E. If all you know of Allan Sherman is song parodies, you would be very surprised. I owned a copy of the book back in the mid-70s; it helped to pass the time during a way-too-long stay in the hospital.

And note the unfortunate use of the past tense "owned" in the previous sentence. I later loaned the book to a co-worker and never got it back. I figure it was either passed along or burned.

AlphaDummy wrote:

frogman042 wrote:he also wrote an amazing book called 'The Rape of the A*P*E' - it's hard to find but worth the effort (beware it is not for the prudish, there is a whole chapter which is devoted to a single four letter word that some claim its origins lie in an abbreviation of unlawful carnel knowledge - on second thought, it is ideal for the prudish).

I will second Frogman's review of A*P*E. If all you know of Allan Sherman is song parodies, you would be very surprised. I owned a copy of the book back in the mid-70s; it helped to pass the time during a way-too-long stay in the hospital.

And note the unfortunate use of the past tense "owned" in the previous sentence. I later loaned the book to a co-worker and never got it back. I figure it was either passed along or burned.

I had 2 copies, now I have one - I loaned it out to a (former) trusted friend and have not seen it since. Its the type of book that once loaned out will never come back and its rare enough that after praising it you either let them read it while locked in a room in you own home (think of the Thatcher Library scene from Citizen Kane) or tell them to find their own damn copy, thank you.

---Jay (If you know what year in the 20th century that Shadow Of A Doubt was released - then you know the number of days (with some degree of reasonable doubt) until my show airs)