Finale.
Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 9:46 am
If you have been following The Adventure of the Pink Bitch, you know our intrepid travelers were last seen sweating off their hangovers in 102F heat on the side of the interstate with a blown tire. They had a spare, but the problem was on the traffic side of the car. Since the Bitch is nearly as wide as the shoulder, they called AAA. Again.
It isn't a stretch to imagine that the spare itself exploded after just a couple of hours on the road. Looking back, I cannot believe we were so foolish. PB hadn't really been driven in TWELVE years, and we did not replace the tires before they left. There was so much other work to be done to her, and our time was limited. There was plenty of tread, so we let that slide. Duh.
But without that second blowout, they'd never have met Denver. Denver saw the boys on the side of the road, and stopped to help. He was naked from the shorts up and had some unfortunate tattoos. He kept insisting that they try his spare tire first, not believing that the tire on a rinky dink pickup would never fit the Bitch's big wheels. When that became apparent, he offered to drive them to a tire store nearby.
The boys were nervous. Denver had been talking a thousand miles a minute without a pause ever since he got out of his ride. But heat-striken and emotionally exhausted beggars can't be choosers, so off they went. NN was sitting on the hump of the cab with the brother holding the door closed. It wouldn't latch or lock, and Denver drove as fast as his mouth ran. They picked up the tire and headed back - but Denver didn't want to go all the way back to the exit behind them. Instead, he got back on the interstate at the nearest exit, hauled ass to the nearest break in the dividers, and pulled the emergency break to make the U-turn, then sped across 4 lanes of traffic to get to the shoulder. Really. The looks on their faces just as they recounted this episode were priceless. They were still scared just thinking about it.
Denver and the guys changed the tire, and then he asked if they had any drugs to trade for his services. "Really? No drugs? Not even any dope?" Not wanting to disappoint, they gave him $40 and the last 3 cuban cigars NN had smuggled in for the trip.
At this point, the big town of Niota was calling. Louisiana was not an option and they didn't even stop in Nashville. I knew they were 'done' when I heard that. I know you're tired just reading it, as I am writing it...and I didn't even tell you about the leaky convertible top in the thunderstorm or the big black biker gang (Soul Riders!). I just caught part of that story, but I think they're now honorary members.
But 863 miles, 7 breakdowns, 3 hangovers, 2 AAA calls, 1 busted hubcap and a new tire later, they were home with mission accomplished! They're even talking about making this dude's trip a yearly event....but next time they'll just rent a Hyundai.
It isn't a stretch to imagine that the spare itself exploded after just a couple of hours on the road. Looking back, I cannot believe we were so foolish. PB hadn't really been driven in TWELVE years, and we did not replace the tires before they left. There was so much other work to be done to her, and our time was limited. There was plenty of tread, so we let that slide. Duh.
But without that second blowout, they'd never have met Denver. Denver saw the boys on the side of the road, and stopped to help. He was naked from the shorts up and had some unfortunate tattoos. He kept insisting that they try his spare tire first, not believing that the tire on a rinky dink pickup would never fit the Bitch's big wheels. When that became apparent, he offered to drive them to a tire store nearby.
The boys were nervous. Denver had been talking a thousand miles a minute without a pause ever since he got out of his ride. But heat-striken and emotionally exhausted beggars can't be choosers, so off they went. NN was sitting on the hump of the cab with the brother holding the door closed. It wouldn't latch or lock, and Denver drove as fast as his mouth ran. They picked up the tire and headed back - but Denver didn't want to go all the way back to the exit behind them. Instead, he got back on the interstate at the nearest exit, hauled ass to the nearest break in the dividers, and pulled the emergency break to make the U-turn, then sped across 4 lanes of traffic to get to the shoulder. Really. The looks on their faces just as they recounted this episode were priceless. They were still scared just thinking about it.
Denver and the guys changed the tire, and then he asked if they had any drugs to trade for his services. "Really? No drugs? Not even any dope?" Not wanting to disappoint, they gave him $40 and the last 3 cuban cigars NN had smuggled in for the trip.
At this point, the big town of Niota was calling. Louisiana was not an option and they didn't even stop in Nashville. I knew they were 'done' when I heard that. I know you're tired just reading it, as I am writing it...and I didn't even tell you about the leaky convertible top in the thunderstorm or the big black biker gang (Soul Riders!). I just caught part of that story, but I think they're now honorary members.
But 863 miles, 7 breakdowns, 3 hangovers, 2 AAA calls, 1 busted hubcap and a new tire later, they were home with mission accomplished! They're even talking about making this dude's trip a yearly event....but next time they'll just rent a Hyundai.
