Page 1 of 1
Al Gore takes descisive action
Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 12:44 pm
by Chicken Little
Al Gore does what is necessary
EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.
"I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. "They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?"
Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly.
"There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."
Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 12:54 pm
by silvercamaro
I love that!
Also, I happened to notice in a sidebar that a new store is opening for Fanny and Sunflower. No mention is made of prospective coupons.
http://preview.tinyurl.com/Store-for-Fa ... -Sunflower
Edited to note: Well, the personalized tinyurl didn't work exactly the way I wanted!
Re: Al Gore takes descisive action
Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 2:11 pm
by ulysses5019
Chicken Little wrote:Al Gore does what is necessary
EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.
"I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. "They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?"
Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly.
"There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."
Yada yada yada. Everyone talks about the weather and nobody does anything about it. Good for Al. I hope the new planet has plenty of gratuitous weather and few hanging chads.
Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 3:50 pm
by jaybee
I always wondered why you never saw Al Gore and Brando in the same room at the same time.
Re: Al Gore takes descisive action
Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 5:20 pm
by PlacentiaSoccerMom
Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly.
"There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."
I wonder if he included some snacks, you know, in case Kal-Al gets the munchies.
Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:20 pm
by Al Gore
Infant son!?!? Dammit, Tipper doesn't tell me anything anymore....
Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 12:01 am
by rayxtwo
Al Gore wrote:Infant son!?!? Dammit, Tipper doesn't tell me anything anymore....
She was mad at you for building a rocket ship for only one and not all three of you, you moron.
Ray
Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:36 am
by ulysses5019
rayxtwo wrote:Al Gore wrote:Infant son!?!? Dammit, Tipper doesn't tell me anything anymore....
She was mad at you for building a rocket ship for only one and not all three of you, you moron.
Ray
What was the carbon footprint of that rocket?
Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:44 am
by Four Hour Stiffy
ulysses5019 wrote:rayxtwo wrote:Al Gore wrote:Infant son!?!? Dammit, Tipper doesn't tell me anything anymore....
She was mad at you for building a rocket ship for only one and not all three of you, you moron.
Ray
What was the carbon footprint of that rocket?
I don't know about Al, but my rocket ain't shooting out carbon....
Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 4:01 am
by Jeemie
Four Hour Stiffy wrote:ulysses5019 wrote:rayxtwo wrote:
She was mad at you for building a rocket ship for only one and not all three of you, you moron.
Ray
What was the carbon footprint of that rocket?
I don't know about Al, but my rocket ain't shooting out carbon....
Well- umm...actually, it is.
Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:03 am
by NellyLunatic1980
Four Hour Stiffy wrote:ulysses5019 wrote:rayxtwo wrote:
She was mad at you for building a rocket ship for only one and not all three of you, you moron.
Ray
What was the carbon footprint of that rocket?
I don't know about Al, but my rocket ain't shooting out carbon....
At your age, Senator, your rocket is shooting out dust.