Wedding Blog: BD**2 - 11 (The Toast)
Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:42 am
Whole wheat with a thin layer of Olivio, please.
Disclaimer: The concept for the toast came from Alan Alda's commencement speech to his daughter's graduating class at Connecticut College in 1980. I don't recall how I came across the thing, but I liked it, it fit the current subject, and after one brief mental block, the whole thing came together on a personal level.
GW's comment: It's perfect. Good luck getting through it.
The whole initials vs. names thing will be blown here. So what? It's not as if we're not like family around the Bored. So, without further ado...
---------------------------------
Thirty-two years ago, minus just a couple of weeks if memory serves, I first met your mother. We've been married almost thirty years now. Over that time, your mother, then Jeremy and you, have experienced many times what is known in our family as an "Ofengand goodbye". The non-family members present may have a similar event. Chris, your turn will come in any case. As family gatherings, such as Thanksgiving, were winding down, people would want to leave and would begin making the rounds of those still there to say goodbye. Somehow, at this point, it seemed that all the most important things hadn't yet been discussed, and so saying goodbye would often take thirty minutes or more. At least it always seemed like more when I was a kid. It probably did to you, too.
The most important topics never seem to be discussed until the door is open and someone is ready to leave. We stand with one hand on the knob, one foot toward the outside world and the other still pointed back toward the lingering comforts about to be left behind. Somehow, the best things said often slip out at that time. They're usually preceded by the words, "Oh by the way ..."
As we stand in the doorway today, there are so many important things I want to say to you. I want to give you sage advice for a long and happy marriage: Help each other with the housework. Make each other laugh at least once a day. Kiss at least once a day. Praise each other. Forgive each other. I want to give you some not-so-sage but still useful advice: Balance your checkbook each month. Wear sunscreen. Buckle your seatbelt. Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times; it's not always a smooth ride.
I want to tell you how proud of you we are, of both of you. Out of all the professions, you have two of the toughest and most important: Soldier, protecting our country's present, and Teacher, protecting our country's future. First, to Chris: thank you for caring enough to be a soldier. Thank you for caring about my daughter now and caring for her in the future. Thank you for "smelling right", so that she cares about you.
Mikaela, thank you for caring enough to become a teacher. You are so good with the little kids, I have trouble imagining you doing anything that isn't associated in some way with teaching them. How to tie their shoes, the alphabet, reading, dancing - whatever you teach, they'll learn. Chris, I have a warning for you. Mikaela will have a lot of boyfriends over the years. They'll all be four years old, but they'll still be in love with her.
The door is inching closed, and I still haven't quite found the right words to say. Let me keep going and maybe I'll manage.
I've praised your current professions, but I know that if situations change, you'll succeed in whatever you do. Don't doubt yourselves. Support each other during the changes in your lives. Compromise may be a lost art in Washington, but it's a necessary part of the lives of everyday people. You've each got twenty-plus years of habits to break, or at least bend. It won't always be easy. Mikaela, you've heard me say this, and now Chris should also hear my First Law of Marriage: The key to a long and happy marriage is knowing when and how often to say "Yes, dear."
I know I've gone on a bit. Don't worry, the most important thing is coming soon.
Mikaela, you know that Mom and I are big Jim Brickman fans. These lyrics from one of his songs are for both you and Chris.
"May the angels protect you,
Trouble neglect you,
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home.
May you always have plenty,
The glass never empty,
And know in your belly
You¹re never alone.
May your tears come from laughing.
You find friends worth having;
As every year passes,
They mean more than gold.
May you win and stay humble,
Smile more than grumble,
And know when you stumble
You're never alone.
We have to be honest.
As much as we want it,
We're not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow.
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you,
Wrap our love all around you,
You're never alone.
Never alone,
Never alone.
We'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown.
Wherever you fly,
This isn't goodbye.
Our love will follow you, stay with you,
Baby you're never alone."
Oh by the way, we love you.
To Chris and Mikaela!
Disclaimer: The concept for the toast came from Alan Alda's commencement speech to his daughter's graduating class at Connecticut College in 1980. I don't recall how I came across the thing, but I liked it, it fit the current subject, and after one brief mental block, the whole thing came together on a personal level.
GW's comment: It's perfect. Good luck getting through it.
The whole initials vs. names thing will be blown here. So what? It's not as if we're not like family around the Bored. So, without further ado...
---------------------------------
Thirty-two years ago, minus just a couple of weeks if memory serves, I first met your mother. We've been married almost thirty years now. Over that time, your mother, then Jeremy and you, have experienced many times what is known in our family as an "Ofengand goodbye". The non-family members present may have a similar event. Chris, your turn will come in any case. As family gatherings, such as Thanksgiving, were winding down, people would want to leave and would begin making the rounds of those still there to say goodbye. Somehow, at this point, it seemed that all the most important things hadn't yet been discussed, and so saying goodbye would often take thirty minutes or more. At least it always seemed like more when I was a kid. It probably did to you, too.
The most important topics never seem to be discussed until the door is open and someone is ready to leave. We stand with one hand on the knob, one foot toward the outside world and the other still pointed back toward the lingering comforts about to be left behind. Somehow, the best things said often slip out at that time. They're usually preceded by the words, "Oh by the way ..."
As we stand in the doorway today, there are so many important things I want to say to you. I want to give you sage advice for a long and happy marriage: Help each other with the housework. Make each other laugh at least once a day. Kiss at least once a day. Praise each other. Forgive each other. I want to give you some not-so-sage but still useful advice: Balance your checkbook each month. Wear sunscreen. Buckle your seatbelt. Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times; it's not always a smooth ride.
I want to tell you how proud of you we are, of both of you. Out of all the professions, you have two of the toughest and most important: Soldier, protecting our country's present, and Teacher, protecting our country's future. First, to Chris: thank you for caring enough to be a soldier. Thank you for caring about my daughter now and caring for her in the future. Thank you for "smelling right", so that she cares about you.
Mikaela, thank you for caring enough to become a teacher. You are so good with the little kids, I have trouble imagining you doing anything that isn't associated in some way with teaching them. How to tie their shoes, the alphabet, reading, dancing - whatever you teach, they'll learn. Chris, I have a warning for you. Mikaela will have a lot of boyfriends over the years. They'll all be four years old, but they'll still be in love with her.
The door is inching closed, and I still haven't quite found the right words to say. Let me keep going and maybe I'll manage.
I've praised your current professions, but I know that if situations change, you'll succeed in whatever you do. Don't doubt yourselves. Support each other during the changes in your lives. Compromise may be a lost art in Washington, but it's a necessary part of the lives of everyday people. You've each got twenty-plus years of habits to break, or at least bend. It won't always be easy. Mikaela, you've heard me say this, and now Chris should also hear my First Law of Marriage: The key to a long and happy marriage is knowing when and how often to say "Yes, dear."
I know I've gone on a bit. Don't worry, the most important thing is coming soon.
Mikaela, you know that Mom and I are big Jim Brickman fans. These lyrics from one of his songs are for both you and Chris.
"May the angels protect you,
Trouble neglect you,
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home.
May you always have plenty,
The glass never empty,
And know in your belly
You¹re never alone.
May your tears come from laughing.
You find friends worth having;
As every year passes,
They mean more than gold.
May you win and stay humble,
Smile more than grumble,
And know when you stumble
You're never alone.
We have to be honest.
As much as we want it,
We're not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow.
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you,
Wrap our love all around you,
You're never alone.
Never alone,
Never alone.
We'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown.
Wherever you fly,
This isn't goodbye.
Our love will follow you, stay with you,
Baby you're never alone."
Oh by the way, we love you.
To Chris and Mikaela!
<----Shades on because I became teary too.