5th Grader thread (spoilers)

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MarleysGh0st · #1 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 7:47 am

The first contestant was a 27-year-old personal injury lawyer. He dressed the part of a lawyer, albeit one of the hip, young ones, sporting one of those trendy five-day-old beards. Bob's identical twin was in the audience (not dressed as a lawyer) as was his mom, sisters and a rooting section called something like "The Bob Bunch".

Spoiler

He started off fairly well up to $25K without trouble. Then he needed to be saved at $50K on 4th Grade Earth Science:

Approximately how much of the water on Earth is freshwater? A. 3 percent, B. 13 percent, C. 37 percent

Bob chose B. His brother (the smarter brother, said Jeff Foxworthy) picked the right answer of A, as did Mackenzie (?).

Next was 4th Grade US History:

Before becoming President, Theodore Roosevelt served as US Vice-President under what other President?

Bob thought the answer was McKinley. Jeff had Nathan's answer revealed, which was also McKinley. Here, Nathan showed again that he's a real trivia fan and not a professional actor following the producers instructions to "increase the drama". Rather than faking distress and uncertainty, he and the contestant exchange smug looks of certainty, while Bob tells Jeff, "I think Nathan and I are ready to move on to the next question." Best moment of the episode, for me!

Two questions later, Bob walks with $175K, rather than going with his correct hunch on 5th Grade Ancient History:

The Peloponnesian War, which lasted from about 430 to 405 BC, was primarily a conflict between Athens and what other ancient city-state?

The second contestant was the 1983 National Spelling Bee champion. He mentioned that his prize for that was $1,000 and a set of encyclopedias. Jeff made several quips about the $1K, saying nothing about the encyclopedias. His audience is probably too young to remember what those are!

Spoiler

This contestant uses his Peek on the very first question, 1st Grade Animal Science:

T/F? Some species of sea turtles live in freshwater lakes.

Then he recovers for a while and copies Cody's answer for $100K, 3rd Grade Social Studies:

The Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor is located on an island. What is the name of that island?

And then...5th Grade US History:

What US President only served one month in office?

The contestant thinks of the presidents who were assasinated and goes with Garfield. He's wrong and it's all up to Cody to save him. Cody displays a look of anguish. Is that real emotion or is he doing the producers' bidding?

Spoiler

It's real. His answer was James Madison.

And the contestant drops to $25K.

A full transcript of the show is available on the 5th Grader board.

peacock2121 · #2 Post by **peacock2121** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:47 am

You crack me up.

MarleysGh0st · #3 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:48 am

peacock2121 wrote:You crack me up.

Sorry, that response is not the running joke that is always expected in this thread, so it must be rejected.

peacock2121 · #4 Post by **peacock2121** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:55 am

You still crack me up.

gsabc · #5 Post by **gsabc** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:59 am

MarleysGh0st wrote:
peacock2121 wrote:You crack me up.
Sorry, that response is not the running joke that is always expected in this thread, so it must be rejected.

Hey, it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it!

MarleysGh0st · #6 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:02 pm

gsabc wrote: Hey, it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it!

No, that's not the response I'm waiting for, either.

peacock2121 · #7 Post by **peacock2121** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:08 pm

You both crack me up.

Here's Fanny! · #8 Post by **Here's Fanny!** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:17 pm

I've never seen this show, so I can only go by the posts as far as content and format.

That said,

Fifth grade has changed a lot since my day if they're studying the Peloponnesian Wars but don't know which president served the shortest term or where the Statue of Liberty is (I don't know if the choices were Liberty or Bedloe, but either way....).

Only slightly less appalling is an ADULT not knowing which president served the shortest term.

Here's Fanny! · #9 Post by **Here's Fanny!** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:19 pm

Hey, I made the first on topic post discussing the show for which the thread was created!

That I did so at all is amazing, but to be first brings tears to my eyes. Ha!

MarleysGh0st · #10 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:23 pm

Here's Fanny! wrote:I've never seen this show, so I can only go by the posts as far as content and format.

That said,

Fifth grade has changed a lot since my day if they're studying the Peloponnesian Wars but don't know which president served the shortest term or where the Statue of Liberty is (I don't know if the choices were Liberty or Bedloe, but either way....).

Well, I believe the official guidelins for the question writers is that they can use anything they find in any textbook of the appropriate grade level, so they can ask some pretty obscure questions that most kids in that grade would never remember.

And in fairness to this class of 5th graders, I believe most, if not all, of these episodes were taped last summer, when the kids had finished 4th grade but hadn't yet had one day of 5th grade classes. By contrast, the first season's class taped in the spring, when they had one semester of 5th grade under their belts. Then there are the "workbooks" they're supplied.

But we've heard that there is no written test for the contestants, whatsover. It's all casting for over-the-top emotion and energy.

ulysses5019 · #11 Post by **ulysses5019** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:23 pm

MarleysGh0st wrote:
gsabc wrote: Hey, it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it!
No, that's not the response I'm waiting for, either.

Do you want a pat on the back and a free iPhone?

Simplistic Rhyming Guy · #12 Post by **Simplistic Rhyming Guy** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:25 pm

ulysses5019 wrote:
MarleysGh0st wrote:
gsabc wrote: Hey, it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it!
No, that's not the response I'm waiting for, either.
Do you want a pat on the back and a free iPhone?

Or maybe just an ice cream cone.

MarleysGh0st · #13 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:26 pm

ulysses5019 wrote:Do you want a pat on the back and a free iPhone?

Actually, I wouldn't want to pay the monthly contract for an iPhone.* Give it to inniskillin.

*My Tracfone is paid up for another 21 months, with more minutes on it than I'll ever use.

MarleysGh0st · #14 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:26 pm

Simplistic Rhyming Guy wrote: Or maybe just an ice cream cone.

Sure, that I'll take!

TheConfessor · #15 Post by **TheConfessor** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:28 pm

MarleysGh0st wrote:
ulysses5019 wrote:Do you want a pat on the back and a free iPhone?
Actually, I wouldn't want to pay the monthly contract for an iPhone.* Give it to inniskillin.

*My Tracfone is paid up for another 21 months, with more minutes on it than I'll ever use.

I think you can still use an iPhone as a free Wi-Fi internet browser, even if it's not under any wireless phone contract.

ulysses5019 · #16 Post by **ulysses5019** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:30 pm

MarleysGh0st wrote:
ulysses5019 wrote:Do you want a pat on the back and a free iPhone?
Actually, I wouldn't want to pay the monthly contract for an iPhone.* Give it to inniskillin.

*My Tracfone is paid up for another 21 months, with more minutes on it than I'll ever use.

But you never call.

kayrharris · #17 Post by **kayrharris** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:33 pm

ulysses5019 wrote:
MarleysGh0st wrote:
gsabc wrote: Hey, it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it!
No, that's not the response I'm waiting for, either.
Do you want a pat on the back and a free iPhone?

Free used Iphone.

I can't believe you still watch this show!!1

Here's Fanny! · #18 Post by **Here's Fanny!** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:35 pm

MarleysGh0st wrote:
Here's Fanny! wrote:I've never seen this show, so I can only go by the posts as far as content and format.

That said,

Fifth grade has changed a lot since my day if they're studying the Peloponnesian Wars but don't know which president served the shortest term or where the Statue of Liberty is (I don't know if the choices were Liberty or Bedloe, but either way....).
Well, I believe the official guidelins for the question writers is that they can use anything they find in any textbook of the appropriate grade level, so they can ask some pretty obscure questions that most kids in that grade would never remember.

And in fairness to this class of 5th graders, I believe most, if not all, of these episodes were taped last summer, when the kids had finished 4th grade but hadn't yet had one day of 5th grade classes. By contrast, the first season's class taped in the spring, when they had one semester of 5th grade under their belts. Then there are the "workbooks" they're supplied.

But we've heard that there is no written test for the contestants, whatsover. It's all casting for over-the-top emotion and energy.

It's still changed a lot if they even mention the Peloponnesian Wars in a textbook. I don't think we even had actual 'history' until 10th grade Western Civilization. Seventh grade was Geography and ninth grade was Civics (I can't remember 8th grade, but I spent most of that year stoned).

Grade school history was 'social studies' and mostly consisted of learning about countries. For instance, in fifth grade we did Central and South America. Each student had to pick a country and do a report (complete with props). While everybody else was fighting over Panama, Argentina and Peru, I had Honduras all to myself. Which I picked because I liked the name Tegucigalpa. It still makes me smile.

I suppose the producers could contract a textbook company into making whatever kind of fifth grade textbook they wanted, with whatever information they wanted.

Are the 'workbooks' the questions and answers or just a general study guide? I was just thinking that with the internet, today's students have a lot easier time finding out answers than we did. However, I was looking up to see what year Bedloe's Island was renamed and found that numerous sources state that the Statue of Liberty is on Ellis Island. Ha!

MarleysGh0st · #19 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:35 pm

ulysses5019 wrote:
MarleysGh0st wrote:
ulysses5019 wrote:Do you want a pat on the back and a free iPhone?
Actually, I wouldn't want to pay the monthly contract for an iPhone.* Give it to inniskillin.

*My Tracfone is paid up for another 21 months, with more minutes on it than I'll ever use.
But you never call.

Neither does TPTB.

And it was the possibility that they might that motivated me to get a cell in the first place, back in 2003...

MarleysGh0st · #20 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:37 pm

kayrharris wrote: I can't believe you still watch this show!!1

Thank you, Kay.

Now this thread feels right!

Kazoo65 · #21 Post by **Kazoo65** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:45 pm

I also saw 5th Grader last night. It's my weekly excuse to yell at the TV since BAM is in reruns.

I got tripped up on the science question about how much of the earth is covered with fresh water. I said C. I would have used up my save on that one!

Way back when I was IN 5th grade, we studied ancient Egypt and ancient Rome. (I don't remember if we did Greece.) Sixth grade we learned geography, the US, Europe-half of which was behind the Iron Curtain (I'd love to see what the kids think THAT was!) and South America.

I'd like to get on this show but I don't think the APs would like me-I'm way too smart. I'd DEMAND to take a test.

Here's Fanny! · #22 Post by **Here's Fanny!** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:48 pm

Kazoo65 wrote:I'd like to get on this show but I don't think the APs would like me-I'm way too smart. I'd DEMAND to take a test.

Don't look now but, if you let your dogma run wild like that, sooner or later it's going to get hit by karma.

Bob Juch · #23 Post by **Bob Juch** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:48 pm

TheConfessor wrote:
MarleysGh0st wrote:
ulysses5019 wrote:Do you want a pat on the back and a free iPhone?
Actually, I wouldn't want to pay the monthly contract for an iPhone.* Give it to inniskillin.

*My Tracfone is paid up for another 21 months, with more minutes on it than I'll ever use.
I think you can still use an iPhone as a free Wi-Fi internet browser, even if it's not under any wireless phone contract.

I don't know about that, but you can use it as an iPod.

peacock2121 · #24 Post by **peacock2121** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:49 pm

kazoo cracks me up

MarleysGh0st · #25 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:54 pm

Kazoo65 wrote: I'd like to get on this show but I don't think the APs would like me-I'm way too smart. I'd DEMAND to take a test.

How about taking a SyndieBAM test in Detroit, next month?

It's alright if you want to tell us that you're not going. But some acknowledgement that you've read our repeated question would be nice. Then we could stop repeating it.