WWTBAM Bored

To this week's fundraiser in support of the GASSS, PASSSOUT, or whatever the hell they're calling it now Party, who have nominated a ticket of Beebs and Admiral Whatshisname for the 2008 election.

The fundraiser will be held this Tuesday July 15th at 2:00 in the afternoon in the back room at the Gastonia Hometown Buffet. We'd have held it later in the day, but the dinner rates were outrageous! Thankfully, I was able to convince the manager that I was under 12 years old, so I got the kids rate.

Admission will be $1,000 per plate. Don't forget to get a clean plate if you return to the buffet, which will be another $1,000.

Entertainment was graciously provided by The Charles Fox Singers, who will be performing numbers from their greatest hits compilation "The Best of the Vests."

The keynote speaker will be Billy Mays, who promised to deliver a motivation speech if I allowed him to pitch his products while he was supporting out planks, whatever they are.

If you do not support the official GASSS planks, but choose to attend our fundraiser, our friend from the League of Pissed Off Voters will be happy to share his plank across the back of your skull.

For an extra $500, the candidates will autograph your napkin. Throw in $200 more, and you can have your picture taken with Admiral Whatshisname and the Hometown Buffet Bee.

We will be sharing the room with a bunch of seniors playing Bingo for free biscuits, so please be kind and do not disturb them because we need the old codger vote if we're going to win this thing.

I hope to see you there.... wait, I'm not gonna be there. I've got better things to do, like visit Todd Bridges in jail. Have fun, suckers!

Do you take credit cards?

Will there be wireless available for posting purposes?

Limited to one line or less, of course.

Artificial Gratuitousness wrote:Limited to one line or less, of course.

I believe the going rate is $100 per line.

$300 for 2 lines....

lb13

Those seniors better not toss any biscuits or they will find themselves with one of beebs' planks upside their noggin.

So what kind of biscuits are they? Frozen or homemade? Is there a limit on the number of bingo cards per person?

I'm going to bring a hearing aid jammer/scrambler; that way our message will be undiluted.

I would prefer if the planks were made of something sturdy and decorative, like travertine marble maybe.

I think we should pass out GASSS masks and PASSSOUT for the Party poppers.

Do I have to pay for this, too? Do I get a discount?

National Apathy Party wrote:Entertainment was graciously provided by The Charles Fox Singers, who will be performing numbers from their greatest hits compilation "The Best of the Vests."

No JJ, No Fanny.

I could work up some <grumbles>® for the League, but I just don't care about the fundraiser.

MarleysGh0st wrote:I could work up some <grumbles>® for the League, but I just don't care about the fundraiser.

We could have a live grumble auction.

Here's Fanny! wrote:

National Apathy Party wrote:Entertainment was graciously provided by The Charles Fox Singers, who will be performing numbers from their greatest hits compilation "The Best of the Vests."

No JJ, No Fanny.

I'll be on the other side of the room playing Bingo, Love.....

Beebs52 wrote:So what kind of biscuits are they? Frozen or homemade? Is there a limit on the number of bingo cards per person?

I'm going to bring a hearing aid jammer/scrambler; that way our message will be undiluted.

I would prefer if the planks were made of something sturdy and decorative, like travertine marble maybe.

I think we should pass out GASSS masks and PASSSOUT for the Party poppers.

Do I have to pay for this, too? Do I get a discount?

What, you think because you're the nominee you get a discount? No ma'am, you better bring a fistful of funds to the fundraiser, especially since I get to skim 25% off all proceeds to benefit my planks....

National Apathy Party wrote:

Beebs52 wrote:So what kind of biscuits are they? Frozen or homemade? Is there a limit on the number of bingo cards per person?

I'm going to bring a hearing aid jammer/scrambler; that way our message will be undiluted.

I would prefer if the planks were made of something sturdy and decorative, like travertine marble maybe.

I think we should pass out GASSS masks and PASSSOUT for the Party poppers.

Do I have to pay for this, too? Do I get a discount?

What, you think because you're the nominee you get a discount? No ma'am, you better bring a fistful of funds to the fundraiser, especially since I get to skim 25% off all proceeds to benefit my planks....

I've gotchur fistful.

Beebs52 wrote:

National Apathy Party wrote:

Beebs52 wrote:So what kind of biscuits are they? Frozen or homemade? Is there a limit on the number of bingo cards per person?

I'm going to bring a hearing aid jammer/scrambler; that way our message will be undiluted.

I would prefer if the planks were made of something sturdy and decorative, like travertine marble maybe.

I think we should pass out GASSS masks and PASSSOUT for the Party poppers.

Do I have to pay for this, too? Do I get a discount?

What, you think because you're the nominee you get a discount? No ma'am, you better bring a fistful of funds to the fundraiser, especially since I get to skim 25% off all proceeds to benefit my planks....

I've gotchur fistful.

Do you still have my lemons?

ulysses5019 wrote:

Beebs52 wrote:

National Apathy Party wrote:
What, you think because you're the nominee you get a discount? No ma'am, you better bring a fistful of funds to the fundraiser, especially since I get to skim 25% off all proceeds to benefit my planks....

I've gotchur fistful.

Do you still have my lemons?

I was unaware they were in my possession. Are they that small?

Beebs52 wrote:

ulysses5019 wrote:

Beebs52 wrote: I've gotchur fistful.

Do you still have my lemons?

I was unaware they were in my possession. Are they that small?

My bad. Tgirl has my limes.

ulysses5019 wrote:

Beebs52 wrote:

ulysses5019 wrote: Do you still have my lemons?

I was unaware they were in my possession. Are they that small?

My bad. Tgirl has my limes.

Well they must be as small as your lemons because I don't here tgirlie discussing them, do I? Hmmm? Hmmmm?
It's too early to imbibe something limey. Perhaps something orangey.