WWTBAM Bored

I finished planting a lot of new trees and shrubs at Wintegreen Manor. I put in two hollies, three crape myrtles, and four azaleas. After I dug out the old trees, I noticed that my sprinkler system was not working. Then, when I was digging the holes for the new stuff, I actually cut through one of the underground sprinkler pipes (and also saw some severed wires; they were obviously low-voltage wires, and the only low-voltage stuff at my house are the doorbells and the sprinklers, and since I don't have any doorbells in the yard, I brilliantly deduced, House-like, that they must be the sprinkler wires).

The sprinkler guys came out to do the repairs, and found that I had torn through the system in three different places-- all three of the breaks in the wiring occurred not from digging to plant new stuff, but from pulling out the old trees (the roots snapped the wires when I pulled them out of the ground in the manly sort of way that I pull trees out of the ground with my manly bare hands) (well, I was wearing gloves, but they weren't good gloves, so I might as well have been doing it with my manly bare hands; I ripped a fingernail off doing that, which seems pretty manly as well).

But now the sprinklers are fixed (although I cannot use them, since the County absolutely bans any lawn watering because of the drought... a ban that went into effect last Wednesday, the day that the rain started, which is to say, five inches of rain ago). Now my trees, bushes and shrubs are all planted, and I even finished mulching, so I am pleased. But my finger hurts. Not that I pay attention to mere pain, being the manly sort of man that I am.

An employment bonus: I got a free flu shot. Capital One looks out for us old folks (they call us 'high risk') and we get free flu shots. So, after my 'redeployment' starts, I will be happily sitting at home watching Oprah, while the young folks who still have jobs at Capital One are hacking and wheezing and feeling miserable. Karma.

I also found out that I am not dying, which was good news for me, if not for Capital One. I had a mole on my knee that seemed to be changing shape and color. I was sure that it was cancer, and no doubt the type that cannot be cured, so I went to my doctor Friday. He says it is nothing, it is not even a mole, it's just some 'sebaceous' thing that everyone has (I just have the one), and that's what those sebaceous things do. Kind of like a zit, really.

While I was there he did some other tests, probably just for the hell of it, and the blood work all came back this morning: my cholesterol and other blood thingies are all perfect, my liver functions are all perfect, and my prostate is perfect (they do a test to check your prostate when you reach a certain age) (well, maybe they won't do that test for SOME of you when SOME of you reach a certain age, but they DO do that test for us manly men when we reach a certain age). Healthwise (based on the numbers they came up with), I am so perfect that I do not need to do some of these tests for another five years.

So, apart from the fact that I am soon to be unemployed, things are going pretty well for me.

Oh, and as for me being unemployed/kicked out of Capital One: I found out that I can get severance AND retire. It turns out that if you are eligible for retirement (as I will be, as of November 23, which is 12 days before I go onto 'redeployment'), then you can take your full severance benefits, and then, when they run out, you can 'retire' from Capital One with whatever retirement benefits are available. Right now, I think that the retirement benefits consist of getting access to my balance in the former pension plan (pocket change, not even enough for a single femdom session-- they terminated the plan three months after I started with Capital One in 1995), and, somewhat more valuable, you get to participate in the company's (very good) medical plan, which for me is particularly good, because if you are eligible to retire this year (as I am) then you get the full company subsidy for medical insurance forever (the subsidy drops 20% per year for people who become eligible after 2007, so that although people who become eligible to retire after 2011 will still be able to participate in the group medical plan, they will have to pay the full, outrageous, unsubsidized cost. What a deal. It almost makes it worthwhile to get laid off when you are 55.

All good news, wintergreen!

Except for the fingernail being ripped off thing. I thought the Inquisition didn't do stuff like that any more!

This sounds like mostly very good news, Mr. winter.

I have a question, though. Is Bruce okay with your hanging around the house more often? I liked it when my mom started being here to give me snacks more frequently during the day, but it was a pain in the tail when she would change the television channel, then thoughtlessly put the remote control on a shelf where I couldn't reach it.

Tell Bruce that if he has issues later, he can vent to this group. Of course, he knows that already.

wintergreen48 wrote: Oh, and as for me being unemployed/kicked out of Capital One: I found out that I can get severance AND retire. It turns out that if you are eligible for retirement (as I will be, as of November 23, which is 12 days before I go onto 'redeployment'), then you can take your full severance benefits, and then, when they run out, you can 'retire' from Capital One with whatever retirement benefits are available. Right now, I think that the retirement benefits consist of getting access to my balance in the former pension plan (pocket change, not even enough for a single femdom session-- they terminated the plan three months after I started with Capital One in 1995),

You pay for that?

I'd do it for free!

Did you bury the lead?

At least you have the time to try out for more gameshows.....

.....Today at my Duel audition, there were two fairly young (no need for them to visit the proctologist) guys who were "temporarily deactivated from the workforce".

It certainly sounds like things could have turned out a lot worse. I know you will make good use of all that spare time you'll have. Enjoy!

The way I see it, if Capital One would quit sending me a credit offer every other day. they could save enough money to keep everyone on the payroll.

kayrharris wrote:
The way I see it, if Capital One would quit sending me a credit offer every other day. they could save enough money to keep everyone on the payroll.

If you want to get Capital One to stop sending you credit offers, stuff everything they send you in the business reply envelope, with the words, please remove me from your mailing list and send it back to them. You can also weight it down with foreign coins and heavy cardboard.

After two months, it stopped coming.

I do the same for political B.S.

I ripped a fingernail off doing that, which seems pretty manly as well)

Somehow, a whine about a ripped fingernail seem more Parisy than manly....

wintergreen48 wrote:So, apart from the fact that I am soon to be unemployed, things are going pretty well for me.

Oh, and as for me being unemployed/kicked out of Capital One: I found out that I can get severance AND retire. It turns out that if you are eligible for retirement (as I will be, as of November 23, which is 12 days before I go onto 'redeployment'), then you can take your full severance benefits, and then, when they run out, you can 'retire' from Capital One with whatever retirement benefits are available. Right now, I think that the retirement benefits consist of getting access to my balance in the former pension plan (pocket change, not even enough for a single femdom session-- they terminated the plan three months after I started with Capital One in 1995), and, somewhat more valuable, you get to participate in the company's (very good) medical plan, which for me is particularly good, because if you are eligible to retire this year (as I am) then you get the full company subsidy for medical insurance forever (the subsidy drops 20% per year for people who become eligible after 2007, so that although people who become eligible to retire after 2011 will still be able to participate in the group medical plan, they will have to pay the full, outrageous, unsubsidized cost. What a deal. It almost makes it worthwhile to get laid off when you are 55.

I'm glad that you are all healthy.

So, what are your plans?

Bixby17 wrote:
I'm glad that you are all healthy.

So, what are your plans?

Thank you for asking.

I've started hunting for a new job, something that would still be in the corporate/finance world, something involving legal work, but that's likely to proceed v-e-r-r-r-r-r-r-y slooooooooowly. I expect that I will have a lot of time on my hands before anything comes up. A few people have suggested that I use that time to finish The Great Novel, which has been hanging fire for too long because of a lack of time (some people write in quick bursts, they can do a couple paragraphs here and there as they get a few moments to squeeze something in; I need to be able to spend a lot of time on it, the mood and setting have to be right, I don't want any interruptions; it's kind of like getting laid, actually). In another month, I will have that free time available.

Something just came up is that is kind of interesting. I recently finished a new historical novel (my gym reading of choice); I was pretty impressed, and I wrote to the author to commend him on it and we have been in contact about it. The book had a good sense of 'place' (it really seemed to be set in its historical period, a few thousand years ago, unlike a lot of historical novels, where the author just puts some 20th Century person, with 20th Century sensibilities, in an earlier time period), but it also included a few anachronisms, which, well, I happened to mention them to the author. He apologized for the anachronisms. He also wants me to be one of the advance reviewers for his next book. He also mentioned that he enjoyed my writing style (if I were the type to brag, I would mention that he said that my letter was the best written he had ever received, but pride is a sin, so I won't say anything about that); he suggested that if I am not a writer, I should be. So, there's some incentive for me to do that. And, since Capital One is going to be paying for me not to work until February 2009, well, the opportunity to do that is here.

Ooh, we can do polls and stuff on this Bored. I'm going to do a poll.

wintergreen48 wrote: I recently finished a new historical novel (my gym reading of choice); I was pretty impressed, and I wrote to the author to commend him on it and we have been in contact about it.

Author and title, please?

MarleysGh0st wrote:
Author and title, please?

Marley, come on. Let him post his poll. I can't wait to vote for my favorite radio station.

Rexer25 wrote:Marley, come on. Let him post his poll. I can't wait to vote for my favorite radio station.

Of course, he can post his poll.

But he's about to ask for our serious advice about his professional future or something and you'd consider casting a vote for WGAS?

For shame!

MarleysGh0st wrote:
But he's about to ask for our serious advice about his professional future or something and you'd consider casting a vote for WGAS?

For shame!

Knowing Wintergreen, it's probably going to be about which pope he should use for his avatar.

You are someone who can have me read historical facts and not have my eyes roll back into my head. You have a gift.

I vote for you using that gift.

I will also vote in your poll.

Yes, you definitely have a talent that does not need to go unnoticed.
Good luck!

wintergreen48 wrote:

Bixby17 wrote:
I'm glad that you are all healthy.

So, what are your plans?

Thank you for asking.

I've started hunting for a new job, something that would still be in the corporate/finance world, something involving legal work, but that's likely to proceed v-e-r-r-r-r-r-r-y slooooooooowly. I expect that I will have a lot of time on my hands before anything comes up. A few people have suggested that I use that time to finish The Great Novel, which has been hanging fire for too long because of a lack of time (some people write in quick bursts, they can do a couple paragraphs here and there as they get a few moments to squeeze something in; I need to be able to spend a lot of time on it, the mood and setting have to be right, I don't want any interruptions; it's kind of like getting laid, actually). In another month, I will have that free time available.

Something just came up is that is kind of interesting. I recently finished a new historical novel (my gym reading of choice); I was pretty impressed, and I wrote to the author to commend him on it and we have been in contact about it. The book had a good sense of 'place' (it really seemed to be set in its historical period, a few thousand years ago, unlike a lot of historical novels, where the author just puts some 20th Century person, with 20th Century sensibilities, in an earlier time period), but it also included a few anachronisms, which, well, I happened to mention them to the author. He apologized for the anachronisms. He also wants me to be one of the advance reviewers for his next book. He also mentioned that he enjoyed my writing style (if I were the type to brag, I would mention that he said that my letter was the best written he had ever received, but pride is a sin, so I won't say anything about that); he suggested that if I am not a writer, I should be. So, there's some incentive for me to do that. And, since Capital One is going to be paying for me not to work until February 2009, well, the opportunity to do that is here.

Ooh, we can do polls and stuff on this Bored. I'm going to do a poll.

Cool. I like the brag.

Also I did an actual LOL when you compared getting ready for the writing process to getting laid. Funny.