WWTBAM Bored

Just plain forgot yesterday until too late and too tired to write anything. Sorry to my regulars.

The good news is that there's a tux rental place within walking distance of HS's apartment. The bad news is that we have no idea how many tuxes we're going to need. The worse news is that we have no real idea who the best man is going to be.

FSIL's first choice for best man is now in Iraq. We were under the impression that his father would now be best man. According to BD, this is not necessarily the case. Dad doesn't want a tux, which was okay with BD as long as he was just FotG. If he's best man, she wants him coordinating with everyone, which means a tux, not a suit. However, there may be some other FSIL close relative or friend who will be best man. We don't know.

There is also an usher issue. We don't know who has been asked, who has or will agree, or who will be wearing dress blues along with FSIL. These are all things we need to know like yesterday. I thought they were settled. Guess again.

Better news is that the wedding gown was shipped last week, a week ahead of stated schedule. It should be arriving late this week or early next. I think the gown shop is like Scotty on Star Trek; tell the captain it'll take six hours when you know it'll take only two, so you'll look like a miracle worker. All the dresses have shown up earlier than stated, in the case of the MotB dress a month earlier.

gsabc wrote:FSIL's first choice for best man is now in Iraq. We were under the impression that his father would now be best man. According to BD, this is not necessarily the case. Dad doesn't want a tux, which was okay with BD as long as he was just FotG. If he's best man, she wants him coordinating with everyone, which means a tux, not a suit. However, there may be some other FSIL close relative or friend who will be best man. We don't know.

Dude, you might want to hold up on making any more plans and non-refundable deposits until this gets cleared up and you see if there actually IS going to be a wedding.

FSIL doesn't seem to be all that interested or enthused about the wedding in the first place (not saying that he isn't interested in getting married, just not the wedding itself). And BD telling him that he can't have his FATHER as best man because his outfit won't coordinate? Ouch, that might be the line in the sand right there.

I understand why you wouldn't want him showing up in shorts and a tee when you're dropping 40 large or whatever on this clambake. Rather than BD dictating what he can and cannot wear and allowing him to not wear a tux if he's "just" FotG, maybe somebody could just tell him how much you're actually spending on this thing (he probably has no idea) and if he could just wear it long enough for the ceremony and a couple of formal pictures and then change into whatever he wants for the reception (insisting that everybody stay in their formal clothes for the reception really would be going too far, I think). I would say just for pictures, but I assume that you'll be videotaping the actual ceremony as well.

Appealing to him rationally and pointing out that spending thousands (or however much) on wedding pictures that everybody's going to play Where's Waldo with from this day forward might bring him round.

On the other hand, if FSIL really is as disinterested in the proceedings as it seems, maybe he'll be okay with having Johnny Bravo as his Best Man (why did you pick me? You fit the suit!). It's just the 'my father isn't good enough for you?' thing that seems sticky.

fantine33 wrote:Dude, you might want to hold up on making any more plans and non-refundable deposits until this gets cleared up and you see if there actually IS going to be a wedding.

Not really an option at the moment, though I don't believe there are too many deposits remaining. But I hear you, and we're thinkin' the same thing. And remember, we won't hear officially about leave approval until the end of this month or so. Even I'm stressed about that one.

fantine33 wrote:FSIL doesn't seem to be all that interested or enthused about the wedding in the first place (not saying that he isn't interested in getting married, just not the wedding itself). And BD telling him that he can't have his FATHER as best man because his outfit won't coordinate? Ouch, that might be the line in the sand right there.

We misunderstood the information from FSIL through BD. FotG was an option for best man, not a done deal. BD would still prefer a tux or dress blues on whoever ends up as best man. To be continued ...

fantine33 wrote:I understand why you wouldn't want him showing up in shorts and a tee when you're dropping 40 large or whatever on this clambake.

Not quite that much, thank ghu. We've joked that if he comes naked, he'd be the talk of several generations. "Have you heard the story of how your great-grandfather showed up naked to your grandparents' wedding?"

gsabc wrote:Just plain forgot yesterday until too late and too tired to write anything. Sorry to my regulars.

The good news is that there's a tux rental place within walking distance of HS's apartment. The bad news is that we have no idea how many tuxes we're going to need. The worse news is that we have no real idea who the best man is going to be.

FSIL's first choice for best man is now in Iraq. We were under the impression that his father would now be best man. According to BD, this is not necessarily the case. Dad doesn't want a tux, which was okay with BD as long as he was just FotG. If he's best man, she wants him coordinating with everyone, which means a tux, not a suit. However, there may be some other FSIL close relative or friend who will be best man. We don't know.

There is also an usher issue. We don't know who has been asked, who has or will agree, or who will be wearing dress blues along with FSIL. These are all things we need to know like yesterday. I thought they were settled. Guess again.

Better news is that the wedding gown was shipped last week, a week ahead of stated schedule. It should be arriving late this week or early next. I think the gown shop is like Scotty on Star Trek; tell the captain it'll take six hours when you know it'll take only two, so you'll look like a miracle worker. All the dresses have shown up earlier than stated, in the case of the MotB dress a month earlier.

I have no solutions to your dilemma. But I have photographed weddings where the best man was not necessarily coordinated with the rest of the party. Same goes with the groomsmen. The girls seem to get it and I cannot recall a wedding that I've shot where the bridesmaids were not wearing the same thing. I also photographed a wedding where the FotG and the MotG took off as soon as the photos were over. They barely posed for the pictures. I've seen it all in terms of wedding day disasters, but as I tell the bride and groom, at the end of the day you will be married and there will be interesting stories to tell. Well, that's true as long as the officiant shows up.....

gsabc wrote:We misunderstood the information from FSIL through BD. FotG was an option for best man, not a done deal. BD would still prefer a tux or dress blues on whoever ends up as best man. To be continued ...

1. Is the person more important to BD or the costume?

2. What was FotG thinking of wearing instead of the the tux? You said he's retired military; does he have an impressive dress uniform that he could wear? (You mention the dress blues.)

3. Planning would be much simpler all around if you have a Betazoid wedding!

Weddings can be so hard.

What a shame.

peacock2121 wrote:Weddings can be so hard.

What a shame.

It's like painting the house. The painting is the easy part. Getting the house prepared to do the painting - the choice of color, the choice of finish, the trim, the washing, the scraping, the woodwork repair, etc. - is the hard part and takes much more time and effort.

It's only one time (it had better be only one time!), sort of a farewell gift to BD as we send her off to her own life, hoping that we've prepared her well enough to be self-sufficient, or at least jointly so with her chosen partner-in-life. We can deal with it.

ulysses5019 wrote:I've seen it all in terms of wedding day disasters, but as I tell the bride and groom, at the end of the day you will be married and there will be interesting stories to tell. Well, that's true as long as the officiant shows up.....

Oy, don't get me started! We just realized that we probably didn't mention the rehearsal when we arranged for the rabbi. It's on Saturday. Oops. I've got a call into him to make sure he can make it. The timing is such that it may not really be a problem, but we need to check.

MarleysGh0st wrote:1. Is the person more important to BD or the costume?

Hard to say in this case. FotG and MotG were divorced when FSIL was young, and he lived with Mom. Dad was nearby and in his life, but I don't know the full relationship.

MarleysGh0st wrote:2. What was FotG thinking of wearing instead of the the tux? You said he's retired military; does he have an impressive dress uniform that he could wear? (You mention the dress blues.)

I don't know if that's a possibility or a desirable. Dress uniforms are harder to put on than most any other form of clothing, because of the precision necessary. It may take FSIL longer to get dressed for the wedding than BD.

MarleysGh0st wrote:3. Planning would be much simpler all around if you have a Betazoid wedding!

That only removes a part of the planning. We'd still need the officiant, the venue, the reception, the flowers, the cake, etc., etc., etc.

It does take "I haven't got a thing to wear!" out of the picture, though.