WWTBAM Bored

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington, designating Southern Speech, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat fer are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. Must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe. Give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah. Haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City. View?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

This is blassfeemy! I'm writin' my Congersman! Whar's my piece of charcoal?

Ah diddunt haif to reed no deffynitchins. All them wurds was perfeckly clear.

You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

kayrharris wrote:You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

A person could starve before they found an interpreter.

kayrharris wrote:You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

I usually heard just: "Jeet?" "Yonto?"

DONE - (helping verb) - Usage "I done been to Bammer and Jawjuh."

When I first moved to the South, I quickly learned that "this evening after dinner" means about 1:00 pm.

RAT CHEER - Not rooting for vermin, but an expression meaning "in this place". Example: "Y'all bring that beer on over and put it rat cheer!"

Capital of Bammer, west of Joe-Ja is Mongummery

gsabc wrote:RAT CHEER - Not rooting for vermin, but an expression meaning "in this place". Example: "Y'all bring that beer on over and put it rat cheer!"

I waz gittin ready to add that'un till I seen you dun done it

Widjadidja?

As in: Ya dint bring yur pickup widjadidja?

Stolen, of course, from J Foxworthy.

This made me lol.
When I first moved to Jawjuh and met my southren cuzzins, the one that always got me was my aunt saying:

Don's gonna carry me to work.

Now, my aunt was a large woman married to a smaller Don. This image always made my sister and I laugh hysterically.

Ah'm fixin' to get upsait. Y'aller makin' fun.

My truly favorite Suthrenism, heard in the grocery store:

"These prices are higher than a cat's back!"

Have you ever been pertneer outta gas?

Ah'm fixin' to get upsait. Y'aller makin' fun.

Bless yer heart.

Have you ever been pertneer outta gas

No but I perneer got a flat afor I aired up my tars.


t.

Jethro Tull: Complete sentence. Normal response to an inquiry about the height of Jed and them's nephew.

silvercamaro wrote:My truly favorite Suthrenism, heard in the grocery store:

"These prices are higher than a cat's back!"

Is that Southern? My dad always said 'higher than a cat's back' and he was from Illinois. He was quite fond of sayings like those, however. Are any of these considered Southern?

(Off the top of my head)

Nervous as a whore in church
Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

Bob Juch wrote:

kayrharris wrote:You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

I usually heard just: "Jeet?" "Yonto?"

I always thought "Jeet jet?" was a Philadelphia expression.

mellytu74 wrote:

Bob Juch wrote:

kayrharris wrote:You left out our favorite down here:

"I'm hungry. Jeetyet?" "No, Yonto?"

This is normally heard around lunch time.

I usually heard just: "Jeet?" "Yonto?"

I always thought "Jeet jet?" was a Philadelphia expression.

Prolly South Philly.

wintergreen48 wrote:The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington, designating Southern Speech, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat fer are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. Must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe. Give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah. Haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City. View?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

I just realized that I will be in Charlottesville this August. Will I need a translator?

Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.

ne1410s wrote:

Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.

The South shall rise again!

ne1410s wrote:

Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.

The dogs and their peach pits was also a favourite (never did get an explanation about why the dog was wolfing down whole peaches in the first place) but the other ones aren't familiar.

Like shit through a goose was also popular, but that seems to be a pretty universal one, so I didn't use that as an example. There was also something about a screen door, but I don't remember the specifics.

ShitSandwich wrote:

ne1410s wrote:

Hotter than a three peckered billy goat
Crazier than a peach orchard shoat (shithouse rats are also quite crazy)
Harder than a wedding dick
Slicker than duck shit on a glass door knob
Faster than a dose of salts through a widow woman

Shivering like a dog shittin' peach pits.
Dumber than a hog is about Sunday.
Diarrhea: Shittin' like a root beer dispenser. Shit through a screen and never touch a wire...

We be nuthin' if not classy round here.

The South shall rise again!

Kitty Sandwich, it's not the South, it's Illinois!